gigantic bib and sat back. “You’re clearly happy with what I did for Tommy. But I still find it upsetting that you leaped into my life since I turned into…well, into a fruitcake. So I’d like to explain the fruitcake thing.”
“You don’t have to.”
She said quietly, “Yeah. I really do.” She took a breath and then just started in. “The day the lawyer called, to tell me about the inheritance, I was…beyond stunned. Obviously I know I helped your little brother. But it’s not as if I did anything brave or spectacular. It was just…luck. I work with enough special kids to notice those different symptoms in Tommy.”
“Luck might have been part of it. But you cared enough to step in. To fight for him,” Maguire said brusquely.
“Well. Whatever. The point is…everyone in my world was thrilled for me. My parents. My sister. Aunts and uncles, friends, everyone. We never had much growing up, so the first thing I did for my dad was buy him a new car. He’d never had a new one before. He always bought used, so new was a treat. And my mom…for years she’d been dreaming about having a new kitchen with a double oven. I started out having so much fun with the money, I can’t begin to tell you. Only, that changed. Pretty quickly.”
Maguire finally finished eating, sank back while Wilbur took away the evidence of their feast and then disappeared into the front cabin with the crew. Carolina doggedly talked on.
“I started getting nonstop calls. One was a school for special kids, who wanted me to donate the money for a wing. Then my dad. He got really upset because he thought I should make him into my manager, instead of hiring an accountant. Then my sister…she asked me to fund her two kids’ college educations. I did. In fact, I was happy to do that. Only…it just went on and on…”
Maguire handed her a soda, as if sensing her throat was dry.
It was. But that didn’t stop her from talking.
“I had one second cousin-twice removed-who had a son who got in trouble with the law. I’m not trying to be funny. The relationship was so distant that I barely knew who he was, and I had only met him once in my life. But he wanted me to pay the attorney fees. Then my sister wanted a new house. I was getting phone calls almost 24/7. Life insurance. Security. Real-estate people. Stockbrokers. Cancer, heart, diabetes, prosthetics, Lou Gehrig’s disease…I’m not sure how all these strangers knew I’d gotten this inheritance. And they’re all good causes, Maguire. Things I do care about. But my life just got…insane. I couldn’t take a bath or read a book. I couldn’t come home at all, without the phone ringing or someone pounding at the door.” She lifted a hand. “I woke up one morning to find a homeless woman on my doorstep.”
Maguire didn’t interrupt, just kept looking at her with those silvery blue eyes, as if the only thing on his mind or in his heart was to listen to her.
“For a while, I was still teaching. I mean, I thought my life would basically be the same. Sure, I’d have this fabulous nest egg and some luxuries, but I was still a teacher at heart. It’s who I am, what I do. Only, the kids I teach are uniquely vulnerable, so when strangers started bugging me at school, the kids were affected. The principal gave me a five-star review for my job performance, yet at the same time he suggested I leave. Everything was different. People, my friends, the other teachers… I was expected to pay if we went out to lunch. Or I wasn’t included because I was suddenly perceived as different. I had men calling me. Men I’d never met. Men I never wanted to meet. And then there was a break-in-it was just weeks after the inheritance. I hadn’t really made many changes in my apartment. Well, some. The one thing I did pretty quickly was get a new computer, because mine was six years old and I was getting the blue screen of death all the time-”
Maguire shot her a look. He didn’t roll his eyes, but she got the gist.
“Okay,” she said, “I know I’m digressing. The break-in was the point. It really shook my timbers. But even worse was the steady round of lawyers and security people calling after that. And I forgot. There was a neighbor who came over, lost her husband, was hoping I could pay her rent for a while. Then…my father’s second aunt’s grandson’s wife was pregnant with a baby that needed some kind of expensive operation-”
“Carolina?”
“What?”
“I know all this,” he said patiently. “I’m surprised you didn’t cave long before you did. The way the doctors explained that ‘hysterical deafness’…it was your body giving you permission to shut down and quit listening to everyone’s demands. Losing your hearing was self-defense.”
“Whatever. Here’s the thing I wanted to say. You know what? This is really your family’s money. Not mine. Why don’t I just give it back to you.”
“No. Not an option.”
“Just listen to me, all right? I’ve lost just about everything that matters to me. My job. The family relationships I thought were strong and solid. Friends. The things I loved to do, loved to be part of, always took for granted. And you know what?”
Maguire wiped a hand over his face, tucked his chin on a fist. “What?”
“When you first kidnapped me, I kept thinking how weird it was…that I wasn’t afraid. But now I actually get it. Because my reality is that I couldn’t be a happier kidnappee. I don’t want to go home right now. I really don’t.”
“And you’re not.”
“But all those problems’ll go away if you just take the money back. Wouldn’t you like all those millions?” she asked coaxingly.
Maguire got this expression on his face as if he were fighting not to laugh. Fighting to believe she was for real. “I have more than enough money than I could ever use or want, Cee. So, no.”
“Okay then. How about for Tommy? How about if I give it all to Tommy?”
“Tommy couldn’t use another penny in his lifetime. He’s got a fortune. All in safe, secure trust funds.”
Still. She was warming up to the idea. “You could burn it if you wanted to. Or throw it away. I always thought I wanted heaps of it. That it’d be so much fun to buy anything I wanted. That I’d feel so much safer if I had security in the bank. And that’s been the craziest part. It’s not fun. And I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe again.”
“Yes, you will,” he said quietly, forcefully. “You can make different choices-”
“I know, I know. I could always choose to just give it all away. And in principle, I’d love to do that. To pick people and causes who really needed something, or someone, to come through for them. Only, Maguire, I learned the hard way that it’ll never be like that. Because no matter who I give to, someone else will be mad that it wasn’t them. Or mad that I didn’t give enough.”
“But there’s still another choice-”
“I know, I know. You think I haven’t thought this through? I could start all over under an assumed name. That has a lot of appeal. You probably think it’s the best choice. I mean, I’ve been whining about what awful people my family and friends have turned into, haven’t I? But I just can’t see giving them totally up quite yet. I mean, they’re my whole history. Warts and all, they’re still my blood. Maybe my life is broken right now…but getting even more broken doesn’t make any more sense, does it?”
“No. And there really is another choice, Carolina.”
“What?”
But just then Wilbur emerged from the front cabin, ordering them to strap in because they were “imminently landing.”
For the first time in hours, she glanced out the window. She hadn’t asked where they were going-didn’t really care-and her internal time clock was so topsy-turvy that she didn’t have a clue what time it was. But there was some kind of ambient pale light outside, enough to reveal breathtaking, snow-covered mountains, higher than any she’d either seen or dreamed of.
“Where
“In the air,” Maguire said dryly.
She flashed him a look. “I might just sock you on general principle. Answer the question.”
“We’re at one of the places that’s going to help you find the answers you’re looking for.”
“I hate cryptic. Just so you know.”
“All right. I’ll answer you straight. We’re going to a place where you’re going to get good and muddy. Muddier than you’ve ever been in your entire life.”
“Muddy? Huh?”
