Undercover In High Heels

“Stop it! Stop walking back and forth!”

She straight-armed the gun in front of her, and I froze.

“You ruined everything! This was the perfect episode, ” she screamed. If she’d sounded crazy before, she looked it now, her hair sticking out on one side, red scratches down the side of her face, and her eyes big and wide, burning with an emotion only Freud could identify.

“That’s it, ” she said, taking one giant stride closer. “I’ll have to go with the alternate ending.”

My breath stopped as she cocked the gun, the sickening click echoing through the air. Suddenly time stood still, each beat of my heart thumping in my chest like a drum, blood rushing in my ears, the scenery going fuzzy until all I could see was the barrel of Mia’s gun. Big chicken that I was, I closed my eyes and felt hot tears build as I braced myself for the sound of a bullet thundering through the chamber.

And then it happened. The gun went off.

I sucked in a breath…

Then slowly let it out. What do you know-I wasn’t dead. One more breath in and out. Yep, still living.

I flipped my eyes open.

And saw Mia lying on the pavement in front of me, her eyes wide and unseeing, a big red stain pooling around her blonde curls.

Bile rose in my throat, and I would have screamed if I’d been able to find my voice.

“I told you I’d catch up to you!”

I looked up.

Oh hell.

It hadn’t been Mia’s gun going off.

It was Isabel’s.

Black hair flapped behind her like a cape, long, fishnet-clad legs pumping toward me, gun pointed out in front of her as two more cracks filled the air, bullets pinging off the side of the metal detector that started beeping like a car alarm again.

Was I the only person in L.A. not packing?

“You shot her!” I yelled, ducking behind the metal detector.

“You’re next, bitch!”

I held my hands out in front of me to ward her off. “Look, Isabel, I didn’t have anything to do with your boyfriend…”

“Snake hates me, and it’s all your fault!” Two more shots rang out.

“I’m sure you’re better off without him.”

“What do you know, Blondie?” Another bullet ricocheted off the side of the metal detector.

“Have you thought about couples therapy? I saw this Dr. Phil episode the other day about rage in relationships…”

But, luckily, I didn’t have to go any further.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a blue streak race across the lot and go flying at Isabel like a linebacker, tackling her to the ground with a thud.

I watched, relief thudding through me, as Queen Latifah pinned Isabel beneath her considerable bulk, one hand on her walkie-talkie as she yelled, “I’ve got a two-fifteen here! Requesting backup! I repeat, a two-fifteen!”

Chapter 20

Five security golf carts surrounded the scene, dozens of uniformed officers and security personnel wrapping bright yellow crime-scene tape around the dark red puddle staining the asphalt. Three huge spotlights, courtesy of the lighting department, shone enough wattage down on the scene to make it feel like noon instead of midnight. And me, sitting on the edge of the medic’s van, wrapped in an ugly green blanket, serious amounts of mascara streaked down my cheeks as I watched the medical examiner wheel Mia’s lifeless body away.

After the studio security guards had swarmed from every direction toward Isabel’s kicking and screaming body, the rest of the evening had kind of blurred together. Isabel had been handcuffed and dragged away by three security guards, shouting obscenities the whole way. A medic had arrived on scene and scooped my crumpled, crying self off the ground and into a van, where he’d examined me head to toe and pronounced a slight case of shock. (Understatement alert.) Then the LAPD had arrived in full force, followed closely by the media.

I searched the flashbulbs and camera crews for a glimpse of Felix. True to my word, he’d been the first call I’d made once security had arrived on the scene. He’d been so excited about the story, he hadn’t even cursed at me (much) for taking his car. Instead, he’d yelled something about evening editions and calling a cab. But if he were here now, he was lost in the crowd of paparazzi.

I did, however, spy Detective Prune Face making his way onto the scene, along with two other plainclothes detectives wearing gun bulges and grim expressions on their faces. No sign of Ramirez.

I wasn’t quite sure whether that made me glad or not. On the one hand, the thought of his big arms around me was comforting enough to downgrade my shivers from a 7.2 to mild aftershocks. On the other, I could only imagine the lecture I’d be getting once he saw the outcome of harebrained scheme number three thousand gone awry. If, that is, he was still even speaking to me.

“Maddie!” I looked up to see Dana rushing toward me, her fake blonde locks flapping behind her. A uniform stopped her at the crime-scene tape, but after a couple of nods from Prune Face, he let her through.

“Ohmigoooooood! Are you okaaaaaay?” Dana grabbed me in a rib-crusher hug.

“Ouch.”

“Oh, sorry.” She stepped back. “What happened to your hair?”

I cringed, gingerly lifting a hand to my head. “Mia ripped out a chunk. It’s bad, isn’t it?”

Dana was such a good friend, she didn’t even answer that. “God, I’m so glad you’re okay!” she said instead, diving in for another hug. “I was so worried about you. I waited and waited in the trailer, but no one showed up. And I got totally bored, so I, like, booted up Mia’s computer to surf YouTube some more. And guess what I found? Letters, Maddie. Just like the ones she said she’d been getting. Know what I think? I think maybe Mia’s been writing them all along.”

Does my friend have good timing or what?

“Anyway, ” she continued, “I peeked my head out the door to tell you, but you were, like, totally gone. I was so totally worried about you!”

She gave me another rib crusher. But, honestly, this time I didn’t even mind.

“Uh-oh.” Dana stepped back.

“Uh-oh?”

“Trouble at three o’clock.”

I turned my head to the left.

“No, three o’clock.” Dana grabbed my chin and tilted my head right.

Detective Prune Face was talking with the latest plainclothes to appear on the set. He was dressed in worn-in- the-right-places jeans, a muscle-hugging T-shirt, and wore a day-old growth of stubble on his dimpled chin, along with a tired expression that said he’d been out chasing down one errant blonde all night.

Ramirez looked up and caught my eye, his jaw going tense.

I gulped. Uh-oh.

“Um, I’ll just be over here if you need me…”Dana trailed off, wisely giving Bad Cop a wide berth as he made a beeline toward the medic van. If my legs weren’t still in a jelly state, I might have joined her. As it was, I just hugged my green blanket a little tighter as his imposing form stopped in front of me.

“I’m so, so sorry, ” I squeaked out, my voice doing the caught-coloring-on-the-walls thing. “I so didn’t mean for this to happen; I was just going to call security, that’s all. And I’m so, so sorry about ditching Officer Mustache, but Dana was here all alone and she’s my best friend and she looked so much like Mia, and then there was another letter, and I was sure he was going after her again, only the he turned out to be the she that he was going after and-”

But I didn’t get any further. Ramirez leaned in and covered my lips with his. Roughly. Possessively. His hands