The Horseman

“What did you say?”

“This ring could be just what I need to start a new life, too. If you are a man of your word.”

“If? Angel, I’m that and more.” Dillon couldn’t believe his ears. He crossed the room in three strides and dropped to his knees in front of her. “You know what I am. I’m a horseman, not a judge.”

“I noticed.”

“I’ve got a log house, not a fine mansion on a tree-lined street. You know that, right? I’m not wealthy. There won’t be servants and maids and a cook.”

“I wasn’t expecting any.”

If she married him, he wanted her to know what was in store for her. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her. “I’m not a lot of things that you’re used to. Polished and civilized and educated. I am what I am.”

Were her eyes twinkling at him? Was she trying not to laugh at him? What was he doing wrong now? A shaft of pain bored through his left temple. He was glad this courting nonsense was over. He couldn’t survive much more of it. “Am I amusing you?”

“Yes. There’s something you should know before you keep going on about how humble you are.”

“Now you’re mocking me.”

“You don’t have to worry, Dillon. My father was a horseman, too.”

His hands framed her face with tenderness and his mouth found hers in a kiss that lifted the soles of her feet from the floor.

Overwhelmed, she pulled away, chuckling, catching her breath. She hadn’t expected this reaction. She hadn’t even known what she would choose until she saw him walk through that door.

Marrying him was a practical decision. That was all. She was still weak, and being on her own, even with money in her pocket, would not be her best choice.

But marriage was permanent. Panic licked at her like a greedy fire at a log, and she couldn’t deny she could be making a mistake. If you marry me, know that I’m the best husband you are ever going to get.

Look how happy he was. Surely that was a good sign. That meant he was going to treat her well.

Marriage was a practical, legal arrangement in her social circle more often than not. That was what had motivated her mother to marry. As it had been Katelyn’s duty to wed her stepfather’s good friend, a man who had brought many benefits to the family. She didn’t see that kind of alliance had ever brought anyone happiness. Certainly her marriage had been sad and lonely and miserable.

Maybe that was simply the experience of matrimony. But surely being bound to a man who cared for her was a far better option than living alone for the rest of her days.

Perhaps, her life with the horseman would be pleasant. Peaceful enough so she could pretend not to feel her grief. She might find it easier to breathe in and out. To face each day and muddle through it. For what life could she ever have without her heart?

“When do you want to get married?” His touch to her face turned reverent. “Wait. Maybe it’s best to get breakfast first. And the doctor, he’s going to have to see if you’re strong enough to ride in a sleigh. I don’t want you tired out.”

“Wait, Dillon, I-”

“I’ll ask the town minister when he has time to perform a ceremony. Marry me now, and I’ll take you home today. I’ll take care of you.”

Maybe I’ve made the wrong decision. She took his big hand in hers, workingman’s hands. Callused from holding leather reins and training leads. Hands that were brown from the sun and rough from the wind. Dependable, capable hands that had made her feel alive.

She hadn’t thought what he would want from her in a marriage. This man, whose heart showed in his honest excitement and his affectionate touch.

Should she change her mind? Now, while she had the chance? And how could she? He cared for her so much.

“I’ll go fetch your breakfast. That’s the first thing.”

He is a good man. A hard pain twisted in her chest. The pain of starting to care for someone again. Coming up through the grief in her heart like a seedling through snow.

“Open your gifts. Go on.” He handed her a package from the corner of the bed. “I’ll be back. Want anything special from the kitchen?”

“No.” She set the afghan aside and stood. “I need to talk to you about something. You seem to have the wrong impression.”

“I do?”

“You said that honesty is the best course between a man and a woman.”

“I sure did.” He took one look at her furrowed brow and his happiness withered. He gripped the lip of the wooden mantel for support. Was she going to change her mind?

“I don’t know what you are expecting of me as your wife.” She might be a petite woman who looked as delicate as the china cup she’d been drinking from, but she had backbone. Standing up to him. Looking him in the eye.

He liked it. She’d never been more attractive to him. He should have known she wasn’t about to go back on her word. “I guess I’m expecting the usual. Fidelity. Honesty. A happy home.”

“Fine, but I mean, from me. The wedding night? Do you expect-”

“No.” He hated seeing fear shiver through her. What had that bastard done to her? He hid his fury, schooling it from his voice, because he didn’t want to frighten her.

He’d never want to do that. “I know getting used to me is going to be an adjustment. I’m not going to rush you on certain, er, uh, intimacies. It’s not a duty, and I don’t want you thinking you have to submit to me, all right?”

Her fisted hands relaxed. Relief erased some of the furrows from her crinkled brow. “Thank you for understanding.”

“Why thank me? It’s only natural that you’ll need time. In the meanwhile, I’ll draw baths for you and tuck you in at night. Is that a deal?”

What a man he is. There was no way he could know what his understanding meant to her. She pushed aside memories of Brett’s impatience on their wedding night. And the act of marriage that she dreaded.

Dillon’s touch had been tender and thrilling. Caring. As had his whispered confession when he’d thought she slept. I love you. I do.

No one in her adult life had said they loved her. The power of those words gave her courage now. She never wanted to hurt this man who stood as tough as a mountain and hid a gallant soul.

Just tell him, Katelyn. She took a breath while he waited. “I know how you feel, but you need to know that I don’t love you.”

“Yet.”

“I’m sorry. I want to be honest with you.”

“I already know that, angel.” His eyes looked pinched, but he stood as unshakable as ever.

“And you still want to marry me?”

“Darlin’, I’d do anything for the privilege of having you for my wife.” He stole the ring from the table, cradled her left hand in his and slipped the band of gold on her finger.

“No matter what happens in our life together, I will never abandon you. I’ll never cast you aside. This is for always, Katelyn. I’ll forever stand by you.”

How could he know what his words meant to her?

He kissed her cheek, a tender brush of his lips. In her view, he stood taller and greater than he ever had before.