Under the Boss’s Mistletoe

when I was here. I don’t want to be that boy any more. When I left Portrevick, I cut off all associations with what I’d been. I wanted to change.’

‘Is that why you gave up riding a motorbike too?’

He nodded. ‘Maybe it’s not very rational, but there’s part of me that thinks the surfing, the bike, the risks I used to take, all of those were bound up with being reckless, being wild and out of control. It felt as if the freedom they gave me was the price I had to pay to get out of Portrevick and start again.’

‘But you’ve changed,’ said Cassie. ‘Taking out a surf board or riding a motorbike isn’t going to change you back.’

‘What if it does?’ countered Jake, who had obviously been through this many times before. ‘What if I remember how good it felt out there? I’m afraid that, if I let go even for a moment, I might slide back and lose everything I’ve worked so hard for. I can’t risk that. My whole life has been about leaving Portrevick behind.’

He was never going back, Jake vowed. No matter if here, by the sea, was the only place he ever felt truly at home. He had escaped, and the only way was forward.

‘It seems a shame,’ said Cassie. ‘You can’t wipe out the past. That wild boy is still part of who you are now.’

‘That’s what I’m afraid of,’ said Jake.

Who was she to talk, anyway? Cassie asked herself as they turned and walked slowly back along beach. She didn’t want to be the gauche adolescent she had been, either. Perhaps if she could put her past behind her as firmly as Jake had she too could be driven and successful, instead of muddling along, living down her family’s expectations.

Tina and Rob were waiting for them back at the Hall, and Rob took a series of photos. ‘Detailed shots are best,’ Tina said authoritatively. ‘I’ve been looking through a few bridal magazines, and that’s what the readers want to see. A close up of a table decoration, or your shoes or something, so they can think, “ooh, I’d like something like that”.’

‘What about a close up of the engagement ring, in that case?’ Jake suggested.

‘That’s a brilliant idea. Why aren’t you wearing it, Cassie?’

‘It feels all wrong to wear it all the time,’ said Cassie, taking the box out of her bag and slipping the ring onto her finger. ‘It’s not as if it’s a real engagement ring.’ Unaware of her wistful expression, she turned her hand to make the jewels flash. ‘It’s just a prop.’

‘Some prop,’ said Tina, admiring it. ‘It’s absolutely gorgeous-and perfect for you, Cassie.’

‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ Cassie’s eyes were still on the ring. ‘Jake chose it.’

Tina’s sharp gaze flicked from her friend’s face to Jake, who was watching Cassie. ‘Did he now?’

Cassie was glad they had had that talk on the beach. Things were much easier between them after that, and they were able to chat quite comfortably when Jake gave her a lift back to London the next day.

She understood a little more why he was so determined to leave his old life behind him, and could admire the way he had transformed himself-but a little part of Cassie was sad too. Their conversation had underlined yet again how very different they were. She wished Jake could let go just a little bit, just enough to let him want someone a little muddled, a little messy.

A little bit like her, in fact.

Oh yes, and how likely is that? Cassie asked herself. Jake was used to a woman like Natasha, who was beautiful and clever and fit perfectly into his new life. Why on earth would he want to ‘let go’ for her? The best she could hope for was to be a friend.

And that was what she would be, Cassie decided. After the photo session, she had persuaded Jake to come to the pub with her, Tina and Rob. He had been reluctant at first, remembering the less-than-warm welcome he had had on previous occasions, but this time it was different. Cassie had made sure that Portrevick knew the truth about Sir Ian’s will, and word had got round about the Allantide Ball too. She was determined to see Jake accepted back in the village, whether he liked it or not.

So the drive back to London was fine. Or, sort of fine. It was comfortable in one way, and deeply uncomfortable in another. A friend would enjoy Jake’s company, and that was what she did. A friend would ask him about his time in the States and about his job, and chat away about nothing really. A friend would make him laugh.

But a true friend wouldn’t spend her whole time having to drag her eyes away from his mouth. She wouldn’t have to clutch her hands together to stop them straying over to his thigh. She wouldn’t drift off into a lovely fantasy, where Jake would pull off the road and rip out her seatbelt in a frenzy, unable to keep his hands off her a moment longer.

‘Quick-where’s the nearest Travelodge?’ he would say-except a motel was a bit tacky, wasn’t it? Cassie rewound the fantasy a short way and tried a new script. ‘Let’s get off the main road and find a charming pub with a Michelin-starred restaurant and a four-poster bed upstairs,’ she tried instead.

Yes, that was more like it, she decided, almost purring in anticipation. There would be a roaring fire and they would sit thigh-to-thigh in front of it with a bottle of wine…then Jake would take her hand and lead her up some rickety stairs to their bedroom. He’d close the door and smile as he drew her down onto the bed, unbuttoning her blouse and kissing his way down her throat at the same time.

‘I’ve been thinking about this for weeks,’ he would murmur, his lips hot against her skin, his hands sliding wickedly over her. ‘I’m crazy about you.’

‘I love you too,’ she would sigh.

‘Did you mean what you said?’ said Jake, startling her out of her fantasy at just the wrong point.

‘What?’ Cassie jerked upright, her blood pounding. Good grief, she hadn’t been dreaming aloud, had she? ‘No! I mean…when? What did I say?’

‘On the beach yesterday. You said you wouldn’t mind coming along to various events as my fiancee again?’

Cassie fanned herself with relief. ‘Oh…no, of course not.’ Willing her booming pulse to subside, she pulled at her collar in an attempt to cool herself. She had got a bit carried away there. I love you too. What on earth was that about? She wasn’t in love with Jake. What a ridiculous idea. She just… found him very attractive.

Yes, that was all it was.

On the other hand, friendly was all she was supposed to be, she reminded herself sternly. ‘I’m always up for a party.’

Keep it light, Cassie had told herself. But it didn’t stop her spending hours searching for the definitive little black dress when Jake rang and asked if she could come to a drinks party later that week.

She should have spared herself the effort. Jake hated it. ‘It’s boring,’ he said when Cassie presented herself with a twirl and made the mistake of asking what he thought. ‘Why didn’t you buy a red one? Or a green one? Anything but black!’

Cassie was crestfallen. ‘I thought you’d like it if I wore what everyone else was wearing,’ she said. ‘I didn’t want to stand out.’

‘I like you as you are,’ said Jake.

When Cassie thought about it afterwards, she realised that it was actually quite a nice thing for him to say, but the words were delivered in such a grumpy, un-lover-like tone that at the time she was rather miffed. She had thought she looked really smart for once.

She didn’t bother dressing up for the day at the spa. To Jake’s horror, Wedding Belles had decided to send a photographer along to take a picture of them enjoying their prize, so Cassie had to hurriedly arrange a day when they could make the most of the voucher. Jake was furious when he heard that he had to take a day off work.

‘It’ll be good for you,’ Cassie told him. ‘You need to relax. I’ll book some treatments.’

‘There had better not be any seaweed involved,’ warned Jake as they signed in to the spa, which promised them ‘utter serenity’…‘a time out of time’.

‘Don’t worry,’ said Cassie. ‘I knew you didn’t like the idea of seaweed, so you’re going to be smeared in mud from the Dead Sea, and then wrapped in cling film instead.’

‘What?’

She rolled her eyes and laughed at his aghast expression. ‘Oh, don’t panic. You’re just getting a back massage. It’ll help you unwind.’