Hooked on Murder: A Crochet Mystery

It wasn't the money. Charlie had left me with enough. It was the idea of failing. The whole episode with Ellen had beaten down my confidence. This job was my chance to climb back up. But there was nothing more I could do tonight.

I dropped the empty into the recycling bag, and Blondie and I headed across the dark house, anxious for bed.

CHAPTER 15

'DON'T WORRY. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, you'll work it out,' Dinah said in a reassuring voice. 'You always do. Remember the See Jack Cook event?'

'And I thought I'd mentally gone over every disaster,' I said, wringing my hands. Dinah reached over, separated them and suggested I take a deep breath.

'I thought it was cute that his name was Cook and that's what he liked to do. Actually, he was pretty cute, too, as I remember,' Dinah said.

'Whatever cuteness there was ended as far as I was concernedwhen he did the candy-making demonstration and the sugar boiled over and got on the hot plate and made a bunch of smoke.' I shuddered when I thought about what had happened next.

'It wasn't so bad, really. The smoke alarm went off, and the fire department came,' Dinah said. I looked at her and rolled my eyes.

'Author programs aren't supposed to end with the audiencebeing evacuated.'

'That wasn't the end, really. You had him finish his demonstration in the parking lot, and the fire department guys even hung around and helped.' Dinah's sparkling eyes danced. 'And those caramels he made.' She kissed her fingers.

'The fire guys did like the caramels, and we did sell all of Jack's books. But tonight is different. I have more than books riding on this. I need to wow Natalie Shaw.'

'Just be glad it's not another book by Fern Darling. What was her erotic romance called?' Dinah smiled as she remembered. 'Hot and Hard.'

I blushed just thinking about it. Fern had been planning to read a section of her book, but her husband and kids showed up unexpectedly just as she was about to start, and she'd freaked and ran out the door.

'But you stepped in when she left. You got up there in front of God and everybody and read that selection she'd chosen,' Dinah said. 'That woman had a way with euphemisms.' Dinah giggled as I squirmed, thinking of all those eyes on me as I'd read Fern's prose. 'Let's see, there was joystick, love handle, pleasure lever and my personal fave, passion baton,' Dinah said. 'But by far her best line was something about Amber's rising moans as she rode Connor's hot rod.'

I nodded, willing the redness to leave my face. 'And we sold out her book, too. Even without her there to sign.' I let out a sigh. 'And even Mr. Stink Bomb's book did okay. A bunch of people came in the next day and wanted copies of his soap book. I think you made me feel better,' I said, glancing around the bookstore.

'That's what best friends are for,' Dinah said, hugging me. 'Besides, Debbee Stewart isn't cooking anything, and her book isn't one long sex scene. You had her come in and do her demonstration, and it went fine. You got in some balls of string and hooks to sell. What could go wrong?'

'Right,' I said, brightening. What could go wrong?

In a show of support, the crochet group had said they would come to the event. Adele had stuck around when she finished her stint in the children's department, and now joined Dinah and me. She was into neutrals at the moment. Her skirt, vest and shirt were all shades of beige and brown, but what they lacked in color they made up for in texture. The vest was some phony fur thing, the shirt was crinkly stuff and the skirt was ruffly.

'You look worried, dear,' CeeCee said, joining our little group. 'Not a good face to show the world. I say, if you act as if everything is okay, it will be.' She sniffed the air. 'Oh, my, what are they baking in the cafe?'

'Rustic apple pie cookies,' I said. It had been a deliberateplan. The smell of apples and of spices like cinnamon was supposed to make people feel good. I was pulling out all the stops on this one.

I had called Natalie to remind her, and she had said she would try to come. I couldn't push too hard, but the word try made me nervous. Everything could go smooth as glass, but if she wasn't there to see it, it wouldn't help me in the Will Hunter department. She'd told me at least three times how busy she was. There were so many changes to make and clients' needs to take care of. And Ellen's computerhad been brought back to life and into the office.

I sparked at that and asked whether it had shown whom Ellen had the lunch appointment with.

'Sorry, there was nothing about her lunch date that day, or about much else. Not that I was surprised,' Natalie said. 'Ellen was a worst-case scenario kind of person, and she didn't trust anything that wouldn't work in a power failure or that needed batteries.'

Sheila walked past the bargain section and joined us, clutching her fabric bag of crochet supplies as though it was her blankie.

I moved everyone en masse to the event area and had them take seats. Dinah sat with the others and gave me a good-luck power fist sign. I was glad to have her moral support.

I had spent the afternoon arranging everything and was pleased with the setup. The arrangement of chairs in a fan shape around the small table afforded everyone a good line of sight. Even from the last row, the stack of copies of Hook Down the Pounds: The Magic Way to Lose Weight with Crochet was visible, particularly the upright one on top. There was still plenty of room on the table for Debbee to do her demonstration. Nearby there was an end cap with more books, a pyramid of balls of string and a coffee mug holding a bunch of medium-size crochet hooks. I wanted it to look like a full house to Natalie, so to make sure there weren't a lot of empty seats, I had put out only twenty. Four of them were already filled with the crochet women.

People began filtering in, and the seats were filling up quickly. Many had stopped in the cafe first and gotten drinks and cookies. I checked the clock and felt my stomachclench. I had been so busy worrying about whether or not Natalie was going to show, I hadn't noticed that Debbee hadn't arrived. If the program didn't start soon, the crowd would get bored and leave.

Adele looked over at me and gave a disparaging shake of her head. 'Pink, the natives are getting restless. You betterdo something.'

I felt a momentary panic, but then an answer showed up. It was really quite obvious. I waved the Tarzana Hookersto the table. Adele rushed up and, before the others had even made it to the front, was already telling the crowd about the crochet group and the charity project. I was glad to let Adele take over. CeeCee seemed a little less pleased, though when someone asked for her autograph, she brightenedup right away.

Someone mentioned the newspaper column and asked about the blanket, and when Sheila showed off another of her impressionist scarf creations, the audience responded with wows. Things got a little thorny when Adele started talking about yarn and spent way too much time describing the differences between worsted and sports weight. Now more concerned about Debbee's arrival than about Natalie's,I had my eyes glued to the door.

Finally Debbee arrived with several friends. By now all the seats were filled, and people were gathering at the back and around the sides. I regretted not bringing in more chairs from the storage shed. I should have realized the words magic and lose weight would draw a big crowd. It was a mixed bag of women, some teenage girls and a few men. I checked the crowd again. Still no Natalie.

I introduced Debbee, and she took over. She was warm and friendly and--though nobody seemed to notice--a littleon the round side for having written a magic-diet book. I glanced out at the crowd, which had grown even bigger. She talked about how the book could change your life, help you lose weight and even break bad habits. She was going to demonstrate one of her strategies.

'I call this the EFOMO maneuver, short for Emergency Food Moment maneuver. You know how it is. You are tense or upset, and the desire to eat something crunchy and salty is almost hypnotic. Instead of ripping open a bag of chips, reach for these.' Debbee took out a green crochet hook and a ball of string. She cut off a long length of the string and explained that the two items took up no more space than a couple of pencils, and could be carried everywhere.

'The EFOMO maneuver will work in a restaurant, too. When you're looking at the menu and have an overwhelmingdesire for the all-fried plate or the giant hot fudge sundae,take out your kit,' she said, making a