a lot of sharing, like that… when you're on the street!
No really straight thinking about any of her problems had come to Charity. To say that she was confused and hurt would be a gross understatement. The anguish she experienced was almost unbearable. Within a short space of time, she had undergone shock, extreme shock that had shattered her whole existence. Her sense of having been betrayed was an overriding feeling within her. First: she had seen her mother with another man, discovering that her mother was a prostitute. This had been made clear to her by her mother's participation in an obscene sex act… for which she had been paid; secondly, she, herself, had been a party to incestuous sex with her brother, Donnie. When she had gone to him for solace, he had offered her something different than she had expected or wanted. Much against her will, she had progressed from joining him in smoking a marijuana cigarette to full-blown sex. It was her first, but she had vowed to herself that never again would she be so weak as to allow Donnie that intimacy, again! It was wrong… so terribly wrong!
… But, she had enjoyed it. The rapture, the ecstasy of the moment was more than she had ever dreamed! She had soared to bursting orgasm under him, but still that sense of right and wrong was with her, strong in her to the point of disgust. After all… sex activity between brother and sister was one of the strongest taboos of civilized man, and she had violated it! Dear God! It'll never happen again! That's one thing I know for sure…! I'll never let Donnie know that we're only half-sister and brother! Heaven only knows what he'd do!
That had been the third and worst blow of all! Their mother had run away… copped out on them, unable, apparently, to face the consequences of her own actions; however, before leaving, she had written a note to Charity, the words of which still burned, indelibly, into her mind. It was this terrible knowledge that had pierced her heart like a cold-bladed dagger, a knife that had been twisted in her, for good measure. GABRIEL SCOTT IS NOT YOUR REAL FATHER. HE DOESN'T KNOW THIS, AND THERE WOULD BE LITTLE POINT, NOW, IN TELLING HIM. THERE IS ALSO NO NEED FOR ME TO TELL YOU HIS NAME… EXCEPT TO TELL YOU THAT HE WAS A FINE AND GOOD MAN, A MAN WHO GAVE HIS LIFE FOR HIS COUNTRY. HE DIED IN KOREA. HE NEVER KNEW THAT OUR LOVE HAD RESULTED IN THE BIRTH OF A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, YOU… MY OWN CHARITY. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS TO MAKE THE DECISION TO GIVE YOU UP… A DECISION I SHOULD HAVE MADE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN! INSTEAD, I PRACTICALLY FORCED GABE TO MARRY ME… AND SUCCEEDED ONLY IN BOTCHING UP ALL OF OUR LIVES…
There was more; her mother's letter had been full of recriminations, confession, outpourings of love and some irrational reasoning… But, dear God… why did she run? Why did she cop-out… when I need her the most? Oh, God… I want my mom! I've never felt so alone… and lost! What can I do? I know for sure… that I can't stay at home! Ugh! The way Dad… er Gabe… looks at me… I just know he wants me… lusts after me… that's what it really is! It's pure animal lust!
In her own mind, she was sure that she had done the wisest thing in getting out of the house where she would be safe, because almost anywhere else — the street especially — would make it impossible for her mother's husband to get at her. She was not sure just how she would make sure it was safe to return; it would be safer, she had decided, while Donnie was there. Perhaps, she would telephone, disguising her voice and pretending that she was a girl friend of her brother's. If Donnie came on the wire, she would explain it to him… but if Gabe answered, she'd hang up.
She had walked, disconsolately, along the shopping mall, looking into store windows, wasting time that only seemed to drag itself, limpingly, along and finally buying and drinking a Coke for its nutritional, sugary lift. She had made the Coke last a long time as she had sipped at it, slowly, and observed the many shoppers, mentally cataloging their various and eccentric ways. Hers was a good eye for character and for action that revealed that character, her interest in and training in drama standing her in good stead, as she played this little game by herself.
Later, as she tired, she found a comfortable seat near the central fountain and watched its changing patterns. It was a restful release from her own emotional anguish, and she lost herself, momentarily, in the cooling display of the shimmering columns of water.
The adolescent voice interrupted her enjoyment. She glanced up at the speaker and recognized him as one of Donnie's acquaintances.
'So, Charity… you split from school and went truant…?'
She answered too quickly, 'I–It's the first time… really… I just couldn't s-stand to go to school, today…'
'That's all right. I'm not a hookey fuzz!' he grinned. 'I was just kidding…'
'You're a friend of Donnie's, aren't you?' Charity asked, regaining her confidence, somewhat.
'Yeah…' He sat down beside her, lounging easily.
'Have you seen him, today?'
'No!' he lied.
She heaved a deep sigh. 'I wish I could see him…' Then, she went on, 'What did you say your name was…?'
'I didn't… but it's Ray… Ray Donahue!'
He leaned back watching her, narrowly, a half-grin still plastered on his face. It was going to be something else, he told himself, when he laid it on her. Christ! I'll bet she can't get into the sack fast enough when I'm through with her!
'I'm glad to know you, Ray,' Charity said, turning back to watch the water. 'I just love to watch…'
Ray cut in, fast, 'You're going to get to know me real well!'
Turning to face him, quizzically, puzzled at his statement, she said, 'Oh… how come…?' She was completely innocent of his intentions.
He lowered his voice but said with firm steeliness, 'You and I are going to have a little party!'
'Wh-What do you mean…?'
'A little sex party… you're going to crawl into the sack with me… for some fucking!'
Charity jumped to her feet, instantly, ready for flight. 'You're d-disgusting!' she spat. 'I'll do n-no such thing!'
Desperately, she looked around, trying to decide which way to go, run, if necessary, to escape his blatantly open proposition. Oh, dear God… he's revolting! If I have to I'll run to the nearest store… and call for the police!
He reached for her wrist and jerked her back down beside him, his grin still in evidence. 'Don't try to run!' he ground out. 'Stick around and listen to the reasons why you're going to do what I say!'
Eyes blazing, she said, 'Why? Wh-Why should I–I…?'
'To stay out of Juvie! You ever been there… it's just like a jail… you know?'
Curious passersby eyed them, but Ray kept his voice low so that words could not reach them, as he held her tight, the pressure on her wrist painfully firm. '… And, don't make a bad scene! Just listen!' he finished.
'You're hurting my wrist! Let me go… p-please…!'
Ray relaxed his steel-fingered grip on her wrist, slightly, saying, 'I don't want to hurt you! Just stay put and listen to what I've got to say! Then, you can make up your mind what you want to do!'
It was completely unreal to her. She was sitting near the middle of the beautiful downtown shopping mall, near the fountain, in the midst of a sunshiny afternoon with hundreds of people walking about, shopping and chatting… and she was being held, against her will, to listen to the vile mouthings of this gangly youth, Ray Donahue… a supposed friend of her brother's.
It couldn't happen! It just could not be!
As he relaxed his grip, she sat forward, poised for flight, like a game bird. All right, she would listen… for a while. She was curious, now, to know what it was all about.
Picking up his remark concerning Juvenile Hall, she asked, 'Wh-What are you s-saying about Juvie? I–I've never done a-anything b-bad to be sent there!' Unconsciously, she also kept her voice low, not wanting anyone in the passing crowd to hear the crazy conversation in progress.
'All right,' he said, leering at her, 'I'm going to lay it on you! Now, listen close! Donnie's been laying you… and I know it…'
Charity gasped, her face draining of color, 'N-No… no! That isn't t-true!'
'Don't try to lie! I know it for a fact!' he snapped. 'Now… our hung-up society doesn't like that sort of thing…
