mother are not on speaking terms. If we do an interview with her, we’d
“She called Jillian a fish?”
“And you wonder why I want to quit?” Paige sighed. “I felt sorry for Shirley, to tell you the truth. I mean, I could tell she’d been drinking-she was slurring her words, you know-and to have to go back to her and tell her that we weren’t interested…poor thing.” She rubbed her eyes. “I couldn’t do it. So I agreed to meet her. Tomorrow, at her hotel.”
“Where is she staying?” I hoped my interest seemed friendly rather than curious.
“She’s registered at the Ritz-Carlton under-get this-the name Sally Bowles.”
The name seemed familiar. “Sally Bowles?”
She groaned. “Liza played her in
“You think Coralie will run the piece once you write it?”
She snorted. “Yeah, right. Good one.” She pushed her plate away with a groan. “I’m going to need an hour on the elliptical machine to get rid of this meal tomorrow. Something else to look forward to.” She exhaled and leaned back in her chair. “So, what’s going on with you? How was your carnival? Sorry I missed you yesterday in the Quarter-I dragged Ryan down to the Fruit Loop, but we couldn’t find you.” She laughed. “Ryan was pretty popular with the gay boys.”
“He’s a good-looking guy.” Ryan was the older brother of our friend Blaine Tujague. He and Paige had gone on a date once before, when he was freshly divorced, and Paige had had one of the most miserable experiences of her long and storied history of dating tragedies, although I forget the details. I wasn’t exactly sure how she’d managed to hook up with Ryan again-there was some vague story about running into him at a party and they’d hit it off the second time around. She even liked his kids, which was saying a lot, as kids usually made her uncomfortable. They’d been dating for several months now, which was a record for Paige. She never said much about Ryan’s ex-wife, and I delicately never brought her up. I had met the ex-wife once, before the divorce, at a party Blaine and his partner had thrown in their across the park from my house -and had disliked her immediately. “What did you guys wear for costumes?”
“I went as Eleanor of Aquitaine, and Ryan went as my court jester.” She gave me a sly wink. “Just black and white tights, black and white boots, and we used body paint on his torso.”
I whistled. “No wonder he was so popular.”
“Well, we’re never doing that again. It took forever to put on, and it was even more of a pain to take it off.” She laughed. “And there was no way I was letting him ruin my sheets.”
I held up my hand. “Sorry. Way too much information.”
“Give me a break.” She rolled her eyes. “After all the times I’ve had to listen to your adventures, you’re going all squeamish on me now?” She raised an eyebrow. “And I’ve never really given you the gory details.” She pursed her lips. “A lady never tells.” She burst into laughter, which I joined in.
“So, are you and Ryan getting serious now? Wedding bells around the corner. I can see you now, all covered in white polyester, with a crown of white lilies…”
She tossed her napkin at me. “Oh, for God’s sake, shut the fuck up.”
“Hitting a little close to home?”
She shrugged. “We’re just having a good time, taking things slow. I don’t have a lot of experience with relationships, and he’s a good guy. I don’t want to rush things. If it’s meant to be, it’ll evolve. But I do like him, Chanse. I like him a lot. It kind of scares me.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” I reached over and took her hand. “There should be a manual or something.
She burst out laughing. “You won’t even read your cell phone manual.”
“Bitch.” We both laughed.
“So, did you have fun over Carnival?”
“Yeah, I really did. It’s nice-“ I cut myself off. I was about to say
“Yeah.” She scratched her nose. “I know what you mean.” She looked around the half-empty dining room. “You know, I can barely remember what it was like
“No, not really.” I thought for a moment. “It seems like, oh, I don’t know… sometimes when I think back about Paul and me-this is going to sound crazy, I know, so don’t roll your eyes at me-it seems almost like it was a dream, like it all happened to someone else, or that it happened a million years ago.”
“Kind of like the flood marked the end of an era.” She nodded. “I know. Sometimes I think that way too. My therapist-“ she stopped herself and blushed.
“You’re seeing a therapist?” I hadn’t known that, and it kind of surprised me that she hadn’t told me.
“Oh, yeah. I started when I came back from my trip with the book done.” She nodded her head, her messy hair bouncing. “I knew I couldn’t handle it all on my own, and it wasn’t like I could dump everything on my friends, because they had their own shit to deal with. So I started seeing someone. It’s helped some, and she’s given me some really good things to think about, things I need to work on.” She started playing with her tea glass. “You’re still seeing yours, right? How’s that going?”
“Listen to us,” I said, avoiding that one,” comparing notes on our therapists.”
“Yeah, well.” She shrugged and glanced at her watch.
“Need to be somewhere?”
“Ryan’s coming over after he takes his kids home.” She smothered a grin. “And don’t get all smart-ass on me either, bub.”
“Maybe we could all have dinner sometime.”
“That would be cool.” She smiled at me. “I do like him, Chanse. Hard to believe he’s the same tool I went out with all those years ago-but maybe he was just in a bad place from the divorce. I don’t know.”
“I’m glad.” And I was. For a long while, I’d never quite understood why Paige had so much trouble with men; if I were straight, I’d be crazy about her, and I couldn’t grasp why so many men seemed to be unable to see everything she had to offer. She was funny, caring, and smart. She’d had a rough time growing up, with an alcoholic mother who had a revolving door to her bedroom. She didn’t speak to her mother anymore-hadn’t in years, although I knew her mother tried. I was at her apartment once when her mom had called and left a long, whining message on her answering machine.
Paige, who’d been in the middle of pouring a glass of wine, had paused, her face tight and drained of color, until the message ended…and then went on as though nothing had happened. She refused to discuss her mother, and the only reason I knew anything at all about their relationship was because Paige had collapsed in a paroxysm of alcohol, grief and guilt one night shortly after I’d returned from the evacuation.
And after that, I completely understood her problems with men.
It was also why I was glad to hear she was seeing a therapist.
“And you’re going to find the right guy someday.” She smiled at me and stopped me from giving the waitress my credit card, fumbling in her purse and handing over hers instead. “I want to treat, okay?” After the waitress had gone away, she went on, “You know you will, right?”
“Yeah.” I grinned back at her. “I know. Someday my prince will come, right? And next time, let’s hope I don’t screw it up the way I did with Paul.” I hesitated. Paige and Paul had been very close, but her smile didn’t falter. “But sometimes I wonder if what Paul and I had was all that.”
She signed the charge slip and stood up. “You and Paul were good together, Chanse, and he loved you so very very much.” She slipped her arm through mine. “I used to envy you and Paul-and you used to piss me off because I was so afraid you’d screw it up.”
I froze for a moment and took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” She squeezed my arm.
“It’s okay.” I forced a smile, even though my heart was pounding fast.
