If the time was right, he’d try again to convince her to stay. It wasn’t that difficult to change a plane ticket, and she still hadn’t learned much about her mother. And there were so many sights they hadn’t seen. Given the rest of the day, he could probably come up with more reasons for her to delay her departure, but for now, that was enough.
THE PUB WAS PACKED with barely enough room to move. Riley had saved a seat for Nan next to Martin, his moody cousin, and the band’s sound technician. Nan felt relieved she didn’t have to try to watch from the midst of the crush and had a nice little elevated perch from which to see the stage.
She had to wonder where the crowd had come from. Ballykirk was such a small village. But everyone in attendance seemed to be familiar with the band, dancing and shouting out names and singing along with the lyrics.
As the evening went on, the crowd became more and more boisterous and the music more raucous. She’d known Riley as the sweet and sexy guy who spent his nights in her bed and his days driving her all over Ireland. But when he was on stage, she got a chance to see a different side of him.
From the moment he began singing, he had the audience under his spell. Like a lover, he teased and seduced them with his songs, making them want more. He smiled and joked and charmed. And with each song, he built toward a frenzy of energy and music that made her want to jump up and dance. The lively tunes, the playful lyrics, the fiddle and the penny whistle, it was all so much good fun.
Though she knew she was probably imagining things, Riley seemed to be singing every song to her, their gazes meeting across the room. When she waved at him, he’d smile. The band finally left the stage after a rousing rendition of a Pogues song that left the audience exhausted, yet satisfied. But Riley stayed on stage, sitting down on a stool with an acoustic guitar.
“This is a song for a beautiful lady from America. It’s a song I wrote especially for her and this is the first time I’m going to play it. I hope you like it.”
Nan leaned forward, her elbows on the sound table, her eyes fixed on Riley as he spun the tale of a man in love with a beautiful selkie. The way he sang the ballad, it was as if he were singing about the two of them, and their fated relationship.
Nan watched him, amazed at the depth of emotion he conveyed to the audience…and to her. She barely knew Riley, and even though they’d been more intimate than she’d ever been with a man before, she didn’t know the tiny details of his life. But, as she watched him, she felt a certain sense of pride in his talent and a fierce attachment.
This was the man who’d chosen to share her bed, this was the man that every girl in the room was lusting after. And tonight, she’d go home with him, she’d take his clothes off and lie naked beside him. A shiver skittered through her body, the anticipation causing an intense physical response.
Riley sang two more songs, both of them sweet love songs, before he nodded to the crowd and stepped off stage, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers. He headed directly to the control table, but his trip was interrupted again and again by enthusiastic fans-mostly female.
When he finally reached her, he glanced back over his shoulder and took her hand. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I need some air.” She stood and he leaned closer. “I need some you.”
They walked out the front door, into the cool night, and Nan wrapped her arm around his as they strolled aimlessly toward the waterfront. The sounds from the pub faded and when they were finally alone, she spoke. “You were so good. I was just so impressed.”
“That I can sing?”
“No, I knew you could sing. You sang that song for me the first night we were together. And I loved the song about the selkie,” Nan said. “It was so sad. But you have this way with the audience. You draw them in. And they can’t help but love you.”
“And you?”
“I love you, too,” Nan said, only realizing the meaning of her words after they’d been said.
There were a few people wandering along the quay and they all recognized Riley and said hello. He found a spot for them to sit, then took a long sip of his beer, staring out at the water, his expression turning serious.
Nan felt a nervous twist in her stomach. She shouldn’t have said that to him. He must have misunderstood. It wasn’t that she loved
“Said what?” he asked.
“Th-that I…loved you. It came out wrong.”
He chuckled. “That’s not it. I like that you said that.”
“Then why do you look so serious?”
He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Today, at the pub, I asked the Unholy Trinity if they remembered Carey Findley. And Johnnie O’Malley knew a little more about Tiernan.”
“What about Tiernan?”
Riley paused. “As Johnnie remembers, Tiernan died shortly after your mother left Ireland.”
She stared at him, her eyes wide, her expression stunned. “How?”
“He drowned in the bay a few months after your mom went home. He was trying to save a friend. And I called Carey Findley again this afternoon and he’d like to see you. He remembers your mom. And from what he told me, she and Tiernan had a thing.”
Nan suddenly felt as if the world was closing in on her, all the oxygen suddenly sucked out of the atmosphere. Though she tried to draw a deep breath, she couldn’t. “Were they in love?”
“I’m not sure. But considering she named you after him, I think it might be possible.”
“No, no. I don’t want to hear this,” Nan said, covering her ears. “I don’t want to hear that she fell in love and then had to leave him. Or that she fell in love and then he died. I don’t want this to be a sad story. Her life was sad enough.”
“You don’t have to go see him,” Riley said. “You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”
“Yes, I do. Now that I know where he is, I have to go. I need to find out about the letters he wrote to my mother. I need to know more about her. And about Tiernan.”
Riley shook his head. “Not if it’s going to make you unhappy.”
“Well, sometimes life isn’t all butterflies and daisies. Sometimes life just sucks. Don’t you think I know that? We can pretend that everything is fine between us, but we both know I’m going to have to leave and we’ll never see each other again.”
“You don’t have to leave. I told you that you could stay.”
“That’s not the point!” Nan said. “I came all this way to find out more about my mother and I can’t just let it go.”
“I’m sorry,” Riley said, a trace of frustration creeping into his voice. “Are we talking about us or your mother?”
Nan paced back and forth in front of him. Everything was all jumbled in her head. Was this really about her mother or was it about her feelings for Riley? Nan didn’t want to believe her mother had walked away from the boy she loved, or that she’d be forced to do the same. “I’m not sure.” She plopped down beside him. “Maybe she loved him. And maybe she decided that wasn’t enough, that she had to go home. Maybe she made the wrong decision.”
“She married your father. They must have been in love,” Riley said.
“He was so much older than her,” Nan said. “Almost fifteen years.”
“He was a man, Tiernan was a boy. Your father was at home and Tiernan was here, far away from everything your mother knew. It’s not hard to understand her choice.”
She turned back to him. “I’m going home,” she said.
“To the cottage?”
She ran her hands through her hair, her cheeks rosy from the chilly night. “I need some time to think.”
“Come on, Nan. Come back to the pub. You’ll listen to some music and have a drink and-”
“I’ll see you later,” she said, starting down the street. As she passed the pub, Nan picked up her pace, running toward the road that led to the cottage. Before long, she was breathless, gasping, a stitch cramping her side. But
