night. But she looked so happy that he decided not to have that conversation yet. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say, anyway. Maybe he could think of something while she was practicing her whistle.
“All right.” He stood and took her hand. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
HANNAH PRACTICED HER whistle on the walk back to the Pearson, but she had trouble concentrating as they drew closer. Now that the moment was almost here, she was nervous. Something seemed to be going on with Zach, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.
Partway through dinner his mood had changed. Until that moment she’d been sure that he was thinking the same way she was-that they should enjoy that suite together tonight. Now she wasn’t so sure.
But if she didn’t ask him to come up, she’d always wonder if they could have spent the night wrapped in each other’s arms. She hadn’t made it to New York by being a coward, so there was no point in starting to act like one now. She would ask him, and if he said no, she’d…well, she’d probably be devastated.
No, damn it, she wouldn’t be devastated! She would take it with a smile, figuring he was the one losing out. But if he said yes…oh, the glory of that! They would set the night on fire.
She didn’t want to have this scene right outside the front door of the hotel, so about half a block away she stopped walking and turned to him. Her heart was beating so fast that she was breathless. She paused to gulp some air. This was silly, being so nervous over such a simple thing. She wasn’t a virgin, for heaven’s sake.
Except this wasn’t a simple thing. She couldn’t shake the feeling that having sex with Zach would have vast repercussions. And although she wasn’t a virgin, she didn’t have a lot of experience with asking a man to share her bed. Usually the guy had been the one asking her.
Maybe Zach would still do that. She hesitated a moment to give him that chance. He must know she wanted him to.
He cleared his throat. “Hannah, I-”
“Of course. Of course you can come up.”
He looked stricken. “It would be better if I didn’t.”
Icy disappointment and humiliation slid over her. She wanted to and he didn’t. How awkward. “Of course. I… didn’t mean to…” She had no clue how to smooth this over.
And she wanted to know why he was rejecting her. Was it something stupid, like she’d accidentally chewed with her mouth open at dinner, or something important, like he’d discovered he couldn’t stand the sound of her voice?
“I know you must be confused,” he said gently.
She swallowed and made herself look into his eyes. “A little.”
He seemed miserable. “It’s not that I don’t want to.”
“Then why not?” She sounded desperate, and she hated that, but the words were out.
“Because…because I can’t be the man you need.”
She stared at him. “Then I need an overhaul on my ‘gaydar,’ because I’ve felt heterosexual vibes coming from you from the very start.”
“I’m not gay. Or impotent, or married, which might be the other conclusions you could draw from what I said. I just-God, this is complicated.” He blew out a breath and stared up at the lighted buildings surrounding them.
She launched into self-preservation mode. “Look, if there’s something about me you don’t like, that’s okay. You don’t have to explain. In fact, my ego would appreciate it if you’d keep that particular truth to yourself. I shouldn’t have asked for reasons. We’re not going to continue this little interlude, and that’s fine. Good night, Zach. Dinner was great.”
He caught her arm before she’d gone more than three feet. “Wait.”
She glanced back at him. “Let’s not make this any more awkward than it has to be, okay?”
“I don’t want you to leave thinking it has something to do with you.” He released his grip. “Hannah, you’re terrific. You’re gorgeous and sexy, and I would love to go to bed with you.”
“Then what’s the problem?” she said softly.
“It wouldn’t be right.”
“You have religious scruples?”
“No! I-you know what? You’re right. I’m only making this more awkward. Just believe me when I say I’d love to, but I can’t.”
“Okay.” She was still confused, but not quite so humiliated. She could see that he was tortured and thoroughly believed he wanted to come upstairs but couldn’t for some mysterious reason. “Well, if you should change your mind…just whistle.” Then she turned and headed for the Pearson’s front entrance.
She shouldn’t be surprised that she’d misread the situation with Zach. She’d landed in a new town, where there could be new rules, and she’d met the guy only yesterday. It seemed as if they’d known each other longer, but that was an illusion. Yes, they’d appeared to click, but something was gumming up the works.
Well, she’d enjoy that suite all by herself again tonight. She’d soak in the Jacuzzi and read one of the paperback thrillers she’d picked up on the way home from her interview. Then she’d get a good night’s sleep with plenty of room to spread out in that big bed. She didn’t need a guy to complete her, or make her happy, or any of that junk. In fact, she…hold on.
What was that noise? She strained to hear. Sure enough, interspersed with the sounds of traffic, came the unmistakable sound of a soft, low whistle.
She turned to find Zach walking toward her.
HALFWAY THERE, ZACH BROKE into a run. So did Hannah. They almost collided in their eagerness to reach each other without losing another second. Then they were laughing, hugging and kissing as if they hadn’t seen each other for weeks.
“I’m an idiot!” he said between kisses. “Can we start over?”
“I don’t know.” Smiling, she wound her arms around his neck and gazed up at him. “I like where we are right now.”
“Me, too, except it’s way too public.”
Her eyes sparkled. “I know somewhere a lot more private.”
“Then let’s go there.”
“No obstacles?”
“Not a one.” To think he’d almost let worry over a stupid job keep him from doing the right thing. Tomorrow he’d talk to Ed, and then to Medford. And he’d let the chips fall where they may. If he ended up jobless and that meant he and Hannah didn’t work out, that would be the breaks. But in the meantime…
“Then come with me.” Slipping her arm through his, she started toward the front door of the hotel.
Somehow they navigated the revolving door without losing touch. Silly things, revolving doors. He’d never liked them. The blessing of a small lobby was that it took no time at all to cross it. They were almost to the elevator when the desk clerk called Hannah’s name.
She glanced at him and slipped her arm from his. “Excuse me a minute.”
“I’ll go with you.” He followed her over to the desk.
“Miss Robertson,” the desk clerk said. “I’m so glad I caught you. We have a small problem. We’ve had to switch your room again.”
“Oh!” Hannah turned bright red. “Did you…um…move everything?”
“Absolutely. Certain…pest-control issues on the top floor came to light this evening, and they had to be dealt with. You wouldn’t have wanted any of your belongings in that room while we handled that. The top floor will be sealed for the next twenty-four hours.”
“But I do have a room, right?”
Zach touched her arm. “Listen, if not, it’s no problem. You can stay with me.” She could stay with him as long as she liked, or until his rent money ran out. Strange how that possibility didn’t bother him as much as he’d expected it to.
