Across the River of Yesterday

give me the number at the hotel?'

He nodded, took out a business card and scrawled a number on the back. 'Just ask for the Royal Suite.' He grinned. 'I told you we were taking good care of him.'

Serena realized that was a gross understatement when she hung up the phone in her room an hour later. Dane was not only unconcerned about having to stay in Mariba for a good deal longer. He actually sounded reluctant to leave Castellano. She supposed she should be grateful that he wasn't depressed, but she was experiencing only frustration and exasperation. She could have used a little company worrying about their situation, dammit.

She stood up and strode across the room to the closet. She would shower and go to sleep and forget all about Dane and Gideon and the tangle she had to uncomb before she could return to her calm, controlled existence. She pulled her loose gray silk robe from the hanger and started to close the door. She froze.

It couldn't be. She reached into the back of the closet and brought out the white satin nightgown she had tossed carelessly on the cane chair ten years ago. It shimmered, as pristine as if it were new.

She slowly hung the nightgown back on the rod and closed the door. The gown had brought back too many memories, not of Antonio and the horror of that night, but of Gideon and the way she had felt about him. She closed her eyes as she remembered the pain she had felt as she walked down the stairs and out of his life. Lord, she didn't want to recall the moment. Was that why he had left the blasted gown in the closet? It was a clever move and she was beginning to realize Gideon was a very clever man beneath his lazy cowboy facade. She opened her eyes, turned, and moved resolutely toward the door of the bathroom.

An hour later she had showered, had washed and blow-dried her hair, and felt a good deal more in control. She drew back the spread on the bed, plumped the pillows and then moved briskly to the window to open it wider.

Gideon was on the patio.

Serena froze. He was sitting on the rim of the mosaic-tiled fountain. He had discarded his jacket and tie and the sleeves of his ruffled dress shirt were rolled up to the elbow. The moonlight touched his hair with flecks of silver and gave his face a stark grimness. He was staring straight ahead, but she didn't believe he was seeing anything but the pictures flashing through his mind. What was he thinking to make him look like that? What emotions were…

He lifted his head.

Serena inhaled sharply as she saw his expression. Sadness. Terrible sadness and an aching loneliness. No, he shouldn't feel…

She turned impulsively and ran from the room and down the stairs. She had to do something. Gideon was hurting and she had to stop the pain. She had to stop him from hurting. It wasn't until she was standing only a few feet away from him on the patio that she realized how instinctive had been her action. Then all objective thought was gone again as he looked up and saw her.

His dark eyes were glittering in the moonlight. 'Hello. I'm sony I had to leave you tonight. Things just don't seem to be working out.'

She took a step closer. 'What's wrong, Gideon?'

'Death,' he said simply. 'I guess that's about the biggest wrong of all, isn't it? It's the one thing you can't fix, no matter how hard you try.'

Serena felt an aching sympathy. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

'It was Frank. I keep telling myself he was old and sick, that he'd lived a good life these last years at least. None of it does any good.'

'Frank,' she murmured. 'I guess I assumed you'd found a home for him with someone else. Ross said you did that at times.'

He shook his head. 'I kept him with me wherever I went after we left Castellano. I… loved him.'

Tears burned her eyes. 'I think perhaps I loved him too. He helped me so much that night.'

'Did you ever get a dog after you left me? I always wondered if you had.'

'No. Like you, I moved around a lot. It wouldn't have been fair to a pet. I kept my friend Elizabeth's dog for a while. He reminded me a little of Frank.' She took a step closer. 'Were you with Frank earlier this evening too?'

He nodded. 'The vet thought he was out of danger, but he had a relapse. He didn't last more than an hour after I got back to him.' He swallowed. 'It hurt to watch him die.'

'But you stayed with him.'

He looked up in surprise. 'Of course. Death is lonely. I think it must help to have a friend there.'

She reached out and gently touched his cheek. 'Anything is better, if you have a friend there.'

He went still. 'Is that an invitation?'

'I'd like to be your friend,' she said simply. 'In a way, I think we're already friends, Gideon. I can't give you what you seem to want from me, but I can give you this. Let me help you.' She stepped into his arms as naturally as if she'd never left them one night long ago. She could feel him stiffen and then slowly relax against her.

'I'd be a fool to turn down your offer, wouldn't I?' His arms tightened around her and his cheek pressed against her temple. 'Lord, I'm hurting, Serena. You know, old Frank was a little like me. I guess that was why I grew to love him so damn much. We were both wanderers and had been through the mill. We both had our scars.'

Serena could feel a moistness on her temple and she instinctively tightened her arms about him.

'There were times when I was lonely or things weren't going right but he was always there. He was happy and affectionate and-' His voice broke. '-and loving.'

'You told me that once,' Serena said huskily. 'You said he had toughened up, but kept the loving.'

'Yes.' He was silent a moment, just holding her. Then his arms dropped away from her and he stepped back. He reached into his back pocket and drew out his handkerchief. 'I didn't mean to drown you.' He dabbed at her temple, dampened by his tears, and then unashamedly wiped his own eyes. 'But Frank deserved tears.' He stuffed the handkerchief back into his pocket. 'Thank you.'

'For what?' She smiled at him. 'I didn't even lend you my shirt or make you an omelet. We're still not even.'

'This is no contest,' Gideon said gravely. 'Friendship makes no comparisons. It's just giving and taking. Thank you for giving.'

'Thank you for taking. It was good to be needed. I don't think anyone has ever needed me before.' She made a face. 'Except Dane, and the only help he ever needs is rescue.'

'No one?' Gideon asked. 'Not even your husband?'

Her expression was suddenly shuttered. 'No, Antonio never needed me.' She stepped back. 'I think it's time I went to my room. Why don't you go to bed, too?'

'Another invitation?' He held up his hand, a faint smile touching his lips. 'No, I know comfort only extends so far and no further. I was joking.' He wearily rubbed the back of his neck. 'I think I will go to bed. One way and another, it's been a hell of a day.'

'You could have eliminated one source of strain, if you hadn't practically kidnapped me,' she said lightly. She was actually teasing about his treatment of her, she realized with astonishment. At some time on this patio tonight, anger and resentment had fled, and she wasn't sure she could ever summon them again to use against Gideon Brandt. She wasn't sure she even wanted to summon them. Being at peace with Gideon was filling her with a golden tranquility and warmth.

'I did what I had to do.' His gaze was running over her. 'I like that silvery robe. It makes you look like a moon maiden.'

She laughed. 'I thought moon maidens were probably made of green cheese too.'

He tilted his head as if he were listening to music. 'Lord, that's pretty. I've never heard you laugh before. I'm going to have to work on giving you more to laugh about.' He laced his fingers through hers and started across the patio toward the front door. 'Maybe I could hire a resident clown, or send for a joke book or-' He broke off. 'But I'll need time to do all that.' He gazed intently at her. 'Am I going to get that time, Serena? Am I going to get my week?'

How could she refuse a man who would postpone initiating a plan he'd held for ten years to comfort a dying animal? A strong man who was not ashamed to show either tears or need. How was it possible to refuse Gideon Brandt?

'I'm very much afraid you are,' she said huskily. 'It's a mistake, but I'll give you your week. I don't know why. You've been completely autocratic and-'