Be my child, Luke. If only for a little while, be my child.
She was sitting on a Knoll overlooking the lake, her arms linked loosely about her knees, when Luke climbed onto the bank.
He gazed at her without speaking, then started to dress.
Don’t look at his back. Kelly was right, she wouldn’t be able to keep control if she did.
His clothes were clinging to his wet body, and she wanted to hold him close to ward off the cold.
She didn’t move. He would not accept that intimacy from her.
And he didn’t seem to feel the cold. Another sign of the toughness that he’d had to develop to survive. That hurt her, too.
“Did the water feel good?”
He nodded.
“Who taught you to swim?”
“Mikhal threw me in the lake when I was little. I was scared, but he kept throwing me in until I learned how to keep from drowning. Later, I found some stuff in one of the books that helped.”
His books, again.
He stood looking at her for a moment, then sat down beside her. “Where’s Kelly?”
“She was chilly. She went to the house. She said since she’d spent so much time in South America that she felt the cold.”
“She told me that her father was killed there.” He was looking out at the lake. “She said that’s where you saved her life. She’s angry with me for not feeling about you the way she does.”
“Kelly is very protective. I’ve tried to talk her out of it, but she thinks she owes me something.”
He frowned. “I’ve never felt like that toward anyone.”
How could he? No one had ever tried to protect Luke from anything. He’d had to protect himself from them. Now he was entering a new world, where everything was different. “Don’t worry about it.”
He ignored her words. “I was thinking that maybe I owe you something, too.”
“Because I’m your mother?”
He shook his head. “Because you killed Rakovac.”
Short, brutal, devoid of sentiment. It was what she had to expect from Luke from now on. It was hard to realize that, when she had held that image of a sunny two-year-old in her heart all these years. “You don’t owe me anything for getting rid of Rakovac. I did it because I couldn’t do anything else, Luke.”
“But it was because of me.” He seemed to be trying to work it out. “Kelly said you risked your life for me.”
“Purely selfish. I couldn’t go on unless I found you and tried to make things right.”
He was silent. “I don’t understand.”
“You will someday.”
“If I went with you to this Hong Kong, would that be paying you back?”
She wanted to tell him yes. It was her chance to grab at the brass ring of opportunity. She couldn’t do it. “No, don’t come for that reason. Only come if it’s what you want, if you think it’s worth giving us a chance together.”
He was gazing at her with those huge black eyes that held so many shades of emotion; ferocity, curiosity, wariness. It was like looking in a mirror of herself as a child.
No joy. The joyous wonder that had been such a part of him had vanished.
Please God, let her find a way of bringing that joy to the surface again.
“When are you leaving?” he asked.
“In a few hours. I’m going to hop a ride on the helicopter Venable arranged to take him back to Moscow. Then I’ll take a plane to Hong Kong. Have you ever ridden on a helicopter?”
“No, I’ve seen them. Mikhal always took me in a truck whenever we left here. He always had weapons and didn’t want to be noticed.”
“I can see why.” She paused. “Eve asked me to let you come to her. If you don’t want to be with me, will you go to her?”
“Maybe.”
She got to her feet. “It would please me very much if you would. I know you don’t care what a stranger thinks, but I just want you to know.” She forced a smile. “Now why don’t we go and find a change of clothes for you. You may not be cold, but I’m shivering just looking at you.”
He nodded absently. “I’ll change.” He didn’t move. “Soon.”
He wasn’t going with her back to the house. Perhaps he’d had enough of her. She didn’t know what he was thinking or how he’d react to anything, she thought in frustration. “Then I’ll say good-bye to you later.” She started up the hill. The long grasses were stirring in the wind. “I’ll see you at the house, Luke.”
He nodded but didn’t answer.
Kelly had left them alone together so that they could come to some kind of understanding. It hadn’t happened. He still found her beyond his comprehension. She was reaching desperately for a way to peel away those layers of mental scar tissue from those terrible years, but it wasn’t going to happen in an hour or even a day.
She could see Eve standing by the front door, and she suddenly remembered what she had said.
She had forgotten that in those moments with Luke when she had been trying desperately to reach him.
Her pace quickened, and she waved at Eve.
He was alive. She had to be patient. Time and work, and she’d find a way to bring back the joy.
“We’ve got them!” Joe came striding out of the study into the living room. “No incidents. Though we were only able to pick up half of the suicide bombers. Homeland Security panicked and closed down all airports for three hours.”
“I approve of that kind of panic,” Eve said. “And they picked up the airline employees involved?”
Joe nodded. “It was a delicate operation. Some of them had been bribed, but others had been forced by a hostage situation like the one in Lima.” He lifted his head, listening. “I hear the helicopter. Is Catherine ready to go?”
“No.” Her gaze went to Catherine, who was standing, looking out the window across the room. “But she will. I told her we’d keep Luke for a while. Is that okay?”
“You’d still do it if I said it wasn’t.” Joe smiled. “No problem. It will be good having another male around the place. I’m constantly surrounded by women.”
“Luke isn’t your average ‘male.’ Sometimes he looks at me as if I were from another planet.”
“That’s probably how he feels. About all of us.”
“Venable says it’s time to leave, Catherine.” Kelly had come into the room. “The helicopter is landing.”
“I’m coming.” Catherine turned and moved across the room to Eve and Joe. “You won’t forget? You’ll let me know how he’s doing?”
“Every few days.” She took Catherine in her arms and gave her a hug. “And I’ll let him know what he’s missing.”
“No, don’t cram me down his throat. He wouldn’t understand.” She turned to Joe and reached up to kiss his cheek. “Take care of her, Joe. And take care of my son.” She stepped back, and said to Kelly, “How would you like to go to Hong Kong?”
Kelly’s eyes widened. “You’ll take me with you?”
“How can I do anything else? There’s no telling where you’ll turn up if I don’t keep my eye on you.”
She frowned. “Duty, Catherine?”
Catherine shook her head. “It was never duty. I just wanted to do what was best for you. I still do.” She smiled. “But now I’m being selfish. I figure that maybe I’m what’s best for you.” She paused. “So I’m willing to battle your mother and your professors and everyone else. Maybe we can work something out together, Kelly?”
“Yes!” Kelly’s face was flushed with color. “You won’t be sorry, Catherine.”
“I know I won’t.” She turned back to Eve. “I haven’t forgotten my promise. I owe you more than words can say.
