He hoped he'd evolved beyond that selfishness. It was a young man's impulsive lust, and he was no longer that man. He had grown away from reaching out and grabbing. He had left impulsiveness behind.
But not lust.
Lust was the strongest entity always seeking to come into its own through whatever means necessary, striking, letting itself simmer undiscovered, then emerging.
So push it back, he told himself wearily. Be honest. Don't try to manipulate her.
If he could make honesty work.
'I WAS ABOUT TO COME AND knock. You were a long time,' Marrok said as Devon came out of the bedroom. 'I decided to make supper.' He nodded at a chair at the kitchen table. 'Sit down.'
'I don't want to sit down. I want to go see Nick and Janet.'
'You need food and another thirty minutes won't matter.'
'It matters.' But maybe she'd be better able to cope if she had something to eat. She was feeling drained. She sat down at the table. 'But I'll eat.'
'Good. Fried chicken and a salad. Is that okay?'
'Unless you've put a mickey into that, too,' she said sarcastically. 'Anything. I'm hungry.'
He smiled. 'And ready for battle. Is that why you were locked in that room for the last two hours?'
'I was ready for battle before. Then you sent your friend, Bridget, in to give me another knockout punch with news about the burning of my home. I could take that. Possessions have never been important to me. I just had to get over the effect of the first blow you dealt me.'
'First blow?'
'Killing my friends,' she said baldly.
'That would take some getting over.'
'You're not denying it.'
'No, I called you as soon as I had an idea there might be a direct threat.' He poured coffee into her cup. 'But if you're talking responsibility, then I probably killed them the minute I left Ned in your care. If you were the target, then Danner would have no compunction in killing anyone around you. Domino effect.'
The name that Bridget had also mentioned. 'Who is Danner?'
'Drink your coffee.'
'Danner. Now.'
'You're not ready yet. We've been hurling too much at you at one time. How can you believe me if you can't even absorb? For instance, you may be ready for battle, but your hand is shaking.'
Damn him for noticing. Yes, put it on hold for a minute and do something normal, comforting. She took a bite of chicken before lifting the cup to her lips. She had to make an effort to keep it steady. 'You're sure Janet and my animals are well?'
'Absolutely sure.' He met her gaze across the table. 'I did my best to remove as much of your life intact as I was capable. It's all I could do.'
'Bridget said they were all down at the bunkhouse?'
He nodded. 'I wanted to keep you apart from them until you could make your own adjustment to the situation. I'll take you there so that you can see I've been telling the truth. Say the word.'
She shook her head. 'It wouldn't prove anything. You've set it all up.' She took another bite. 'You've built this whole scenario, and I don't know what's truth or lies. I have to-I don't know what to think. You were responsible for everything that happened, and yet you saved Nick and Janet and my animals.' She pushed the plate away and jumped to her feet. 'I've got to get out of here. I can't just sit here drinking coffee and trying to eat this-I'm going to go down to that bunkhouse to see Janet and Nick, and I don't want you to go with me. Will your damn guards allow that?'
'No.' He held up his hand. 'Ned and I will trail behind you until you're ready to go back. We can be very unobtrusive. Let's go, buddy.'
Ned got to his feet and ran over to Devon. He touched her hand with his nose and looked up at her.
Those brown eyes were shining, knowing, yearning to help.
'He senses you're hurting,' Marrok said.
'I know that.' Her hand stroked Ned's head. 'I had a dog like Ned once. Her name was Tess, and she would always be there when I needed her most. She knew what I was feeling, what I was thinking. So much love…' The tears were welling to her eyes again, and she blinked them back. She didn't even know why she was crying. Tess, Hugh, Terry, the fire. Probably for all of them.
'Devon.' Marrok took a step toward her.
'Don't you touch me.' She whirled to the door. 'I don't need comfort from you. I need answers. I'll be fine. Just keep those guards away from me or I'll deck them.'
THE NIGHT WAS COOL AND THE stable yard deserted except for the two jeans-clad men leaning casually against the corral fence.
Not so casual. They straightened warily as she came down the porch steps.
'Okay.' Marrok made a motion, and the wariness was suddenly gone from the guards' demeanor. 'Brian Olivska, Dean Rodlake.'
'Good to meet you, ma'am,' Olivska said with a smile.
Rodlake murmured something equally polite.
'She's going down to the bunkhouse.' Marrok gestured down the sloping yard. 'Follow the lights, Devon.'
She was already on her way. She could see the lights of the large, long, wooden structure some distance away. They cast a cozy, warm glow in the darkness. All the outbuildings seemed to be good-sized and in excellent repair. Three corrals, a barn, a stable. She couldn't determine the nature of the other buildings. All the livestock must have been put away for the night.
A bray broke the silence of the night.
Except for the donkey in the corral she was passing.
'Casper?'
He was at the fence, and she stopped and reached up a hand to stroke his muzzle. 'Okay? How are you doing?'
Evidently fairly well. He wasn't nervous or edgy and seemed his usual self. She wouldn't have expected it. It had taken Casper two weeks to settle when she'd brought him to the farm. 'You're suspiciously calm, boy. Did they give you some kind of sedative?'
'We gave him Bridget for an hour or two last night.'
She turned to Marrok behind her. 'What?'
'You might say Bridget has a way with animals. She's something of a Pied Piper.' He nodded at the long building only yards away now. 'There's the bunkhouse. I'll wait out here with Ned.' He leaned against the fence. 'When you're done, I'll be here.'
She strode toward the bunkhouse door. 'I don't want your company.'
'Yes, you do. No one else will answer your questions.'
'You haven't done so well in that department so far.' She opened the door. 'But by all means wait. I want another go at you.'
He chuckled. 'By all means.'
She immediately dismissed Marrok from her thoughts as she saw Nick lolling in front of a stone fireplace a few yards away with a cup of coffee in his hand. Bridget was curled up on a nearby denim-covered couch, Gracie beside her. 'Well, you look comfortable.'
Nick jumped to his feet, a smile lighting his face. 'Lord, it's good to see you.' He was across the room in three strides. 'I was suspecting something fishy when they wouldn't let us see you when we got in.'
Gracie jumped down and darted over to Devon, yodeling with joy. Devon stroked her lovingly. 'I'm glad to see you, too, baby.'
'I told you that she'd come, Nick,' Bridget said as she swung her legs to the floor. 'After traveling all those hours with me in the van, you'd think you'd learn to trust me.'
'You may be able to hypnotize critters, but I require a little more than they do.' He gave Devon a hug, then looked down at her with concern. 'How are you doing? I feel like I'm in shock.'
'Me, too.' Her voice was shaking. 'And every time I think about Hugh and Terry, it gets worse. At first, I
