She gazed around the room. Clean, a worn off-white quilt on the bed. Cheap painted nightstand and a bowl and pitcher on the chest by the door. Good enough.
The bed looked particularly good to her. She was in no mood to pass through the kitchen to go to the communal bathroom for a shower.
Later.
She curled up on the bed and pulled the ancient cream-colored quilt over her. Why did old things always seem more soft and com¬fortable…?
SOMEONE WAS KNOCKING.
She opened her eyes. The room was dark. 'Emily.'
Garrett. She swung her feet to the floor, crossed the room, and opened the door. 'Is everything okay?'
'That's what I was going to ask you.' He smiled. 'You've been in here for almost four hours. But judging by the fact that you're a bit tousled, I'd guess you were taking a nap.'
She nodded. 'I only meant to-I suppose I was tired.'
'I suppose.' He stepped aside. 'And you were a little tired of us. Me, particularly. But Dardon and Pauley have gone to their rooms, and you can have the house to yourself if you want to take that shower.'
She did want a shower. She felt sticky, and her mouth was like cot¬ton. 'Is there hot water?'
He nodded. 'I lit the water heater.'
She went back into the bedroom, opened her duffel, and took out her toothbrush and shampoo. Then she grabbed underclothes, shirt, and pants. 'Good. I hate cold showers.'
'Me too.' He turned and headed back toward the kitchen. 'Take your time. I'll make you coffee. You didn't get any from the first pot.'
She could smell the coffee as she opened the bathroom door al¬most an hour later. Lord, she loved the smell of fresh coffee.
He smiled as she came toward the table. 'Feel better?'
'Yes.'
'Want something to eat?'
'No, I had that sandwich on the plane. I'm not hungry.'
'That was a long time ago.' He poured her coffee. 'Maybe later.' 'Maybe.'
He sat down across from her. 'Pauley said he's close.' 'He said that on the plane, too.'
'There are a lot of false starts and doubling back in his line of work.'
'You sound as if you're familiar with it.'
'Familiar, not perfect. That's why I moved on to other endeavors.'
'Do you have to be perfect in everything you do?'
'Only in some things. But I have to be damn good, or it drives me crazy until I am.'
'I was never that ambitious. I just wanted to accomplish what I set out to do and do it well.'
'You grew up with a loving father and a secure home life. I had to be better than anyone else on the street or end up in the gutter. It trained me to be competitive.'
'I can see that.' She looked at him over the rim of the cup. Even now when he was sitting here, relaxed, she was aware of the vibrancy and wariness that was such an integral part of him. In those first days with Garrett, she had not dreamed she could become so accustomed to being with him. She was wary, too, and she was out of her element with him.
He had stopped smiling, and his gaze was suddenly intent. He was still out of her element.
She could feel her chest tighten, and the heat move through her. She wanted to reach out and touch him. Get a grip.
'I'm still competitive,' he said. 'You didn't like it when I wasn't all sweetness and light to Pauley. Sorry. It's my nature. I have to pro¬tect what's-' He broke off. 'No, you wouldn't like that either. I seem to be saying all the wrong things tonight.' He looked down at the coffee in his cup. 'But I think it's the time to say them. I think you're ready. God, I hope you're ready.'
'Ready for what? Sex?'
'Yes.' He looked up at her. 'Oh, yes.'
She caught her breath. He wasn't even touching her, and she felt as if something inside her was melting.
'You knew it was coming,' he said thickly. 'You want it to come.'
She did want it, and she'd be lying if she denied it. She wouldn't lie. 'We have a certain chemistry.' She moistened her lips. 'But it's the sit¬uation. We've been thrown together, and we react. That doesn't mean we should-' She broke off and pushed her chair back. 'I'm hot.' Oh, shit, that had just tumbled out. 'I need some air. I'm going outside.'
He smiled. 'I'm hot, too, Emily.' But he remained in his chair as she left the house.
The night was chilly, but it didn't cool her. She leaned back against the house, gazing out at the barren fields. She was burning up, her body readying. For heaven's sake, she felt the way she had the first time she'd had sex. It was her first year in college, and she'd been mindless, uncontrolled, dizzy with lust. She hadn't run away from it then. She'd run toward it.
Because it was safe, just a new experience, a passage of life.
Sex with Garrett would not be safe, and the passage could take her down paths that would be new and strange.
And exciting. Yes, everything about Garrett was exciting and dif¬ferent. The way he thought, the experiences that had made him who he was, his body that drew her and made her want to-
The door opened, and Garret came outside.
She tensed, straightening against the wall.
He was also tense. She could see the tautness of his face and the contained violence in the bunched muscles of his shoulders.
'Don't worry. I'm not going to jump you,' he said. 'I'm not even going to try to seduce you. Though God knows I want to do it. I might be able to pull it off. That's one of the skills I studied until I got pretty good at it.'
'I'm sure you did.' Emily tried to keep her voice even. 'It's one of the most necessary talents in a man's repertoire, isn't it?'
'You're damn right.' His gaze narrowed on her face. 'And it's frus¬trating the hell out of me that I can't use it now. My hands are tied. That son of a bitch, Staunton, tied them, and I can't do anything about it.'
'I don't know what-'
'I'm telling you,' he interrupted harshly. 'You've been one of the walking wounded ever since we came together. How the hell am I go¬ing to get you into bed when I'm afraid you're going to shatter if I put a finger on you?' He reached out his hand and brushed her throat. 'Your pulse jumped when I touched you.' He rubbed his thumb in the hollow. 'And it's going crazy now.'
More than crazy. She couldn't breathe. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it would jump from her breast.
'And I can't do a damn thing about it,' he said between his teeth. 'You're the only one who can make the move.' His hand dropped away from her throat. 'Just know that I want you more than I've wanted any woman in my life. I'm wild for you. I'd never hurt you, and I'd make it good for you. That's all I wanted to say.' He turned on his heel and walked across the farmyard toward the road.
She stared after him, her head whirling with the words he'd just spoken.
Walking wounded.
You'd shatter if I put a finger on you. Staunton tied my hands.
She slowly turned and went back into the house.
SHE SHOULD HAVE WORN HER shoes. Her bare feet were cold on the rough ground as she moved toward the lean-to.
Cold feet. That was almost funny. But she wouldn't be nervous or afraid. She had gone through all that in the hours since she'd left Gar¬rett. Now the time for nerves was over. Then why did she still feel them, dammit?
She opened the door of the lean-to. 'Garrett.'
'Come in.' He was half-lying, half-sitting, propped up against the wall. 'Quick.' He lifted the quilt covering him. 'Let me get you warm. I didn't expect you to be running around in a tee shirt.'
