Pandora's Daughter

She could barely hear him, the voices were roaring now, ripping at her.

Fight them.

Fight him.

She tried to crawl toward the cave opening.

'No.' He grabbed her by the waist. 'It's over, Megan.'

Mama.

'Stop it.' His face contorted with pain. 'She can't help you any longer. And I'm not sure I can do it either.'

Mama.

'Don't do this. I told her I wouldn't promise to-'

Mama!

'Dammit, Megan, you have to stay with me.' He backhanded her across the face.

Darkness.

But the voices were still there, gnawing at her sinews, devouring her.

'Okay, I can't take it anymore,' he whispered. 'You win, Megan. Or maybe Sarah wins.' His hands grasped her arms, holding her still. 'I'm going to shut you down. Don't fight me. I'm not going to hurt you. You're just going to go to sleep and I'll take the voices away.'

She opened her eyes to look dazedly up at him. 'What…'

'Shh.' He gently brushed her hair back from her forehead. 'You wanted help. I'm going to give it to you. You won't remember the voices, the pain, any of this.' His lips tightened. 'I wish to God I was that lucky.'

CHAPTER ONE

Twelve years later

St. Andrews Hospital

Atlanta, Georgia

'HE'S DEAD, MEGAN. CALL IT,' Scott Rogan said as he looked at her over the body of the fourteen-year-old boy. 'Give it up.'

'Tell that to his mother.' She hit the paddles again to try to jumpstart the boy's heart. Come on, Manuel. Come back to us. 'I'm not going to do it without a fight.'

'We've been working on him for the last twenty minutes.'

'Then another few won't make a difference.' She counted to three and then hit him again. 'Live, Manuel,' she whispered. 'You have so much to do, so much to see. Don't let it end like this.'

But it had ended, she realized in helpless frustration after another two minutes. Dammit to hell. Poor kid.

She ripped her gloves off as she turned away. 'Document that the patient died at eleven-oh-five p.m.,' she said jerkily to the nurse. She strode out of the ER to wash and change her bloodstained scrubs. She couldn't face the boy's mother like this. The woman was going to have a bad enough memory to carry for the rest of her life.

Damn. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the jamb of the door for a minute. It shouldn't be like this. She should be able to do more.

'Are you okay, Megan?'

She opened her eyes to see Scott standing beside her. 'No.' She straightened. 'I wanted a miracle. I didn't get it.'

'You did your best. We're just doctors. We can't walk on water.'

'I can try. Every day I can try a little harder and maybe someday I'll be good enough to-' She rubbed her stinging eyes on the back of her hand and turned away. 'I can't stand here talking. I have to talk to Manuel's mother.'

'Wait.' He was hurrying after her. 'I'll tell her, Megan.'

She shook her head. 'My job. He was my patient.' But, dammit, she didn't want to do this. It was always a painful responsibility but especially traumatic when it concerned the young. 'Thanks anyway, Scott.'

He shrugged. 'It's bad for me too. But it doesn't tear me up like it does you. Sometimes I wonder why you decided to become a doctor. You're too damn emotional. All that psychological training we were given in med school didn't get through to you.'

'I'll get used to it.' Her gaze was fixed on the small Latina woman sitting in a chair across the waiting room. A deep pang of sadness surged through her. Dear God, the woman's hopeful expression as she saw Megan…

No, she'd never get used to it. Not in a million years. Then take it on the chin and go tell that mother her boy is dead.

The woman was tensing, her eyes anxious. Megan could feel her pain and desperation as if it were her own. It was surrounding her, deluging her, drowning her. She braced herself, fighting to pull away from it.

'Megan,' Scott murmured.

She shook her head to clear it. 'It's okay.' She moistened her lips and forced herself to start across the room. Get it over with and try to offer the woman what comfort she could.

'Mrs. Rivera, I'm Dr. Megan Blair.' She drew a deep breath. 'I'm sorry to tell you that…'

HE COULDN'T TELL WHO WAS suffering more, Scott Rogan thought, as he watched Megan take the woman in her arms. Megan should have let him do it.

'Stop worrying about her. You can't protect your little buddy for the rest of her life.'

Scott turned to see Hal Trudeau standing a few feet away. He hadn't been in the operating room, but by now the story of Megan's frantic efforts at reviving the kid was probably all over the ward. He wished to hell Hal had not been on duty tonight. Hal was highly competitive and he considered Megan a threat in his climb at the hospital. The first couple years out of medical school could sometimes be a make-or-break period for a doctor. Hal would like nothing better than to make Megan look unprofessional.

'I'm not worried,' Scott said. 'She's handling everything fine.'

'I hear she almost fell apart when the kid died.'

'She was upset. She didn't fall apart. She'd never risk a patient's life by losing her composure.' He turned on his heel. 'And everyone in that room will tell you the same thing. Don't try to stir up trouble over this. The only mistake she made tonight was caring too much and she didn't let it interfere.'

'That's open to argument. I've heard the Chief Administrator thinks she gives the impression of being unstable.' Hal smiled maliciously. 'But then you probably enjoy that emotional side of her. How is she in bed, Scott?'

'I wouldn't know.'

'Sure. That's why you trail behind her like a stud around a mare in heat. I bet she's one hot number when she needs to release some of that stored up-energy. I don't blame you for jumping her.' Hal's gaze returned to Megan. 'She's not bad-looking. I wouldn't mind screwing her myself. If she wasn't such a stuck-up bitch.' He turned and walked away.

Bastard.

Scott smothered the surge of irritation that moved through him. He felt like decking the son of a bitch. Yeah, that's all Megan needed was to have the two of them brawling in the halls over her. Hal was right, the administration was keeping a close eye on Megan. They liked their hospital rolling on greased wheels and even a hint of instability in their personnel scared the hell out of them.

And Megan was not unstable. No one worked harder. St. Andrews was lucky to have her. She'd been offered a job in a number of more prestigious hospitals in the Northeast before she'd graduated. The only reason she'd stayed in Atlanta was because she hadn't wanted to leave her uncle Phillip who had cared for her since her mother had died.

Hell, Hal would probably have made a case against family feeling as well. Anything to bring her down.

Including accusing her of sleeping around with a married man.

The idea was oddly intriguing.

What was he thinking? He and Jana had been married for only two years and they had been good years. Megan