away.
She got to her feet and moved toward the screen door. She would go take a shower and change. Then she'd go through her correspondence and wait for Joe to call her.
And hope that there would be news of Bonnie.
EIGHTEEN
SHE STOOD WATCHING FROM the porch as Joe's car drove up the road three hours later.
He looked exhausted, she thought as he got out of the car. Why not? It had been almost thirty-six hours since either one of them had gotten any sleep.
'You shouldn't have stayed up. I would have woken you.' He came up the steps. 'I know what's important.'
'I didn't want to go to bed.' She tensed. 'Tell me.'
'No Bonnie. They're still searching the island, but they brought over some instruments from Jacksonville and there don't appear to be any buried bone fragments.' He took her in his arms and buried his face in her hair. 'God, I'm sorry.'
'Me too,' she whispered.
'And Bonnie's favorite song? We found a story in a Macon, Georgia, paper about Bonnie that mentioned it.'
'And Kistle could have read it and remembered.' Her arms slid around him. He was warm and hard and blessedly comforting. She could feel the tears welling, but she blinked them back. 'But I think I was expecting it. When I saw Kistle's expression when he started backing away from telling me where Bonnie was buried, I was afraid that he'd been lying to me about everything.' Her voice was muffled against him. 'God, it's going to be hard to keep on searching after this, Joe.'
'Then don't do it.'
She shook her head. 'Kistle wasn't the only name Montalvo gave me. There were two others.'
'And you're already thinking about the next man on the list. I knew it would be like this. I don't know if I can-' He was rocking her in an agony of pain. 'It was too bad this time, Eve. It almost killed you. And part of me died a little too. I
She hadn't known she had been pushing him away. It was instinctive rejection because of the panic his words were bringing. 'I can't help it.' She kissed him and then stepped back. It was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted to stay in his arms, convince him to stay forever. She couldn't do it. She didn't know how many times she'd unconsciously tried to sway him, keep him close. It wasn't fair to him. If she was hurting him, then she should stand aside. 'And I can't help you with this, Joe.' She added unsteadily, 'It's got to be your decision.' She moved toward the kitchen. 'But don't make it exhausted and on edge. We'll talk about it tomorrow. I've made a pot of coffee. Let's just sit and talk and then go to bed.' She poured coffee into a mug. 'I made it decaf, but I don't think it would make a difference. We'll both sleep.'
He nodded. 'I saw that Montalvo's camp was gone when I drove in.'
'Yes, he dropped Miguel off at the hospital and broke it down himself.'
Joe looked down at his coffee. 'He came up to tell you about it?'
'Yes, and to tell me how grateful he was that you'd saved his life.'
'I should have let that alligator eat the bastard.'
She smiled. 'He also told me that you hadn't done it willingly.'
'Damn straight.'
'But he said it didn't matter and he was going to make himself your new best friend.'
'What an ass.' He took a drink of his coffee. 'We've identified fifteen of the victims so far. We'll try to find case reports on the others, but we may be asking your help for a couple of them.'
She nodded. 'Though I might be able to ask Megan if she remembered any of the names of her voices. It could help.'
'We'll take any help we can get.' He gazed across the table at her. 'Even Megan Blair's.'
'You believed her, Joe. Maybe you didn't want to believe her, but you did.'
'I believed her.' He grimaced. 'That doesn't mean I'd believe her on another case. I'd step very carefully.'
'I wouldn't expect anything else of you.' She looked away from him. 'But at least you're willing to accept that everything isn't exactly as it might seem to you. That's a small breakthrough.'
'I don't know what I'd accept or not accept. My good sense is telling me that I shouldn't believe any of this. As I said, once I have time to analyze, she'd probably have a hard time convincing me.'
'I doubt if it will come up. I don't think Megan's going to be involved in any other cases anytime soon. This one could have killed her if you hadn't kept her warm on the way back to the dock. She was in severe shock.'
'What else could I do?' He downed the rest of his coffee. 'Shower and then bed. Coming?'
Conversation over coffee, shower, bed; the familiar routines that made up their lives. She could sense the edge of darkness in him that could cut them apart, but he wasn't letting it surface. Not yet. So hold those beloved routines close. There was no guessing how long they would exist.
She smiled and got to her feet. 'Always.'
JOE WAS ASLEEP WITHIN minutes after he had hit the bed, but Eve lay awake. She should be as exhausted as Joe and she supposed she was. But the memories and sadness wouldn't go away. Memories and the worry about what was to come.
Joe would leave her. Perhaps not this week or this month, but it would happen. He couldn't stand the thought of continuing the search for Bonnie and she couldn't bear not to do it.
She could understand his pain, but she couldn't help him. The only thing she could do was wait and try to prepare herself for what was to come.
Her cell phone vibrated on the nightstand and she grabbed it to keep it from waking Joe.
Jane.
She slipped out of bed and left the bedroom before she answered.
'Hi, Jane, how angry are you?' she asked when she picked up.
'Not angry at all. Hurt. You know you shouldn't have lied to me.'
'Yes,' she said wearily. 'It seemed the only thing to do at the time. I couldn't stand the thought of dragging you into that horror too.'
'Why not? It's where I belong if you're there. Joe said Bonnie's body wasn't found.'
'Not yet.'
'I'm sorry. I know how much you're hurting.'
'I'll be okay.'
'How about Joe? He didn't sound very good when he called.'
'It's difficult for him.'
'I can see it.' She paused. 'When I was a little girl, I had to fight to keep from disliking Bonnie.'
'Jane.'
'Oh, I wasn't jealous. You gave me all you could. But she was a stranger to me and she was the one thing we couldn't share. And I was like Joe. I didn't like you being hurt.'
'You never told me.'
'I didn't want to hurt you. The only reason I'm telling you now is to make sure you realize what Joe is feeling.'
'I understand. We'll get through it.'
'Yes, you will. I got through it and now I'm fine with the way you feel about Bonnie. But I can't see your face to tell if you're trying not to worry me. Sometimes I hate telephones.' She added crisply, 'But I'll be able to see you
