She felt as if she were flying, swooping, held tight to the earth only by Jordan’s hand at her waist. Yes, this was right, this was what she had wanted. To let Jordan take her on this magical journey, to fly, to spin, to share. It made the evening perfect, complete. She tilted her head back and stared up at the glass above her.
Flaming torches.
Light against darkness.
Shimmering color and beauty swimming in dizzying circles.
“Stop it,” Jordan said.
“What?”
“I said, stop it. Look at me.”
She did so, and she experienced a tiny shock that jarred her from the euphoric spell. His green eyes were glittering, narrowed on her face. Recklessness. Sensuality. Mockery.
She had been so happy when she had seen him coming toward her that she had barely noticed his change in demeanor.
He smiled. “Looking at me may not be as satisfying, but I can’t tolerate being ignored for glass and paint. Have I mentioned that besides being atrociously spoiled, I also have a tendency to be intensely jealous?”
She shook her head. “That’s not so.”
His brows lifted. “No?”
“You’re not jealous at all. I’ve watched you with-” She stopped. She didn’t really want him to be aware of how closely she’d monitored his liaisons with those women. Then she realized she didn’t have to admit it. He had never made mention of it, but he had known.
“I’ve watched you too,” he said quietly.
She experienced a queer sense of nakedness, as if all the fragile barriers between them were tumbling down. She hurriedly looked back at the ceiling. “You don’t care enough about anything or anyone to be jealous.”
“Then why did I tell Dorothy to take young Sheridan away or I would put a hole in his handsome head?”
Her eyes swung back to him in shock. “You’re joking.”
“Dorothy didn’t think it was amusing. It came as a surprise to me too.” He swung her in a wide, swooping circle. “But what is between us has never been guided by ordinary rules, has it? Just when we become accustomed to one set, the game changes.”
She couldn’t seem to look away. “And has it changed?”
“Yes.” His gaze moved to the nakedness of her upper breasts. “Thank God. I was beginning to feel like a eunuch.”
She felt a sudden tingling and swelling as if his hands were stroking her. She swallowed. “Dorothy would say that remark was most indelicate.” She suddenly burst out, “And to my knowledge a eunuch does not require a harem such as yours.”
For an instant the mockery in his expression changed, and she thought he was going to smile. Then the hint of softness vanished. “I told you I’d seek consolation. If you’d been ready to take me three years ago, a harem wouldn’t have been necessary.” He smiled. “Come to me tonight, and I promise I’ll rid myself of any entanglements.”
She inhaled sharply as she felt the muscles of her stomach clench. “I
“And I wish you’d worn it sooner. It clarifies the situation. But we both know the gown isn’t the cause. We would have come to this anyway.”
“I don’t know any such thing. I was happy here. I thought-” She was not certain what she had thought, but it certainly wasn’t that she would be thrown into this sudden turmoil of feeling. “I felt safe.”
An indefinable emotion flickered in his expression. “I never promised you safety. Not unless you gave me what I needed.”
She stiffened as she realized his last words held no sensuality, only a harsh determination that transported her back to that night by the campfire in Montavia.
Mother of God, what a fool she was. She had been so contented, she had blissfully ignored the faint stirrings of apprehension she had experienced this afternoon. She whispered, “The Jedalar. That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You think I can give you the Jedalar now.”
He glanced at the dome above them. “You’ve become an exceptional craftsman.”
Hurt twisted within her. “I told you I wouldn’t give it to you. Not ever.”
“I have to have it, Marianna. I’ve delayed as long as I can. I knew you had the skill to create the Jedalar over a year ago. I hoped I wouldn’t have to ask it of you.”
Tears stung her eyes, and she fought them back. “Did you think because you’ve cared for Alex and me all this time that I’d soften and give it to you? I owe you nothing. I’ve taken this dark place and given it back to you full of light and color.”
“Yes, you have.” He looked into her eyes and said roughly, “And I don’t want you soft. I want you strong. I want you to fight me and make me fight you. You
“I will.” Her voice was unsteady. “Please, let me go. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“When the music ends. We have to talk.”
“Now!” She could bear no more. She broke away from him and hurried across the room. She heard the rustle of whispers among the dancers. She had probably ruined herself in their eyes. What did she care about them? All that mattered was that, to her profound relief, he wasn’t pursuing her.
She almost collided with Gregor as she ran through the doorway.
“Marianna.”
He looked so troubled, she tried to smile. “The torches were beautiful. Everything was beautiful, Gregor.”
“Give him the Jedalar,” he said in a low voice. “He does not want to hurt you, but he will. He will break you any way he can, and I cannot help you now. Give it to him.”
Her smile vanished as a wave of overwhelming desolation swept through her. She was alone. Gregor, whom she had thought her friend, had abandoned her.
She pushed past him and ran up the stairs.
Gregor turned and stood waiting as Jordan strode across the ballroom toward him.
“She’s gone upstairs?” Jordan asked as soon as he reached him.
Gregor nodded. “There’s no use following her. I am sure she won’t answer the door. You frightened her.”
He had frightened her, Jordan thought, but he had also hurt her, and that was much worse. “I want you to take Alex and leave the castle tonight, at once. Go to Southwick to the
“To what destination?”
“No destination. Just show the lad a fine time.”
“For how long?”
He shrugged. “A few days. Then bring him back to Cambaron.”
His gaze searched Jordan’s face, and then he stated, “But Marianna will not be here when we return.”
“No, I’m taking her to Dalwynd.”
Gregor smiled sadly. “No doubt to find a way to convince her to give you the Jedalar?”
Jordan looked at the stairs. “What do you want me to say? That I’m going to keep up this ridiculous farce? It’s gone on too long. Your dove is no longer a child, she’s a woman. Yes, I want the Jedalar. Yes, I want her in my bed. If I can find a way to get both at Dalwynd, I’ll do it. But I assure you, I most certainly will have her before you see her again.” He smiled fiercely. “And there’s nothing in heaven or hell you can do to stop me this time.”
“I know. At last, you have found an excuse to take what you want. It is very sad. There will be much pain for both of you.”
“Then so be it. Send word to me at Dalwynd if you hear anything from Janus.”
Gregor nodded gloomily and started up the stairs. “I will go and get the boy.”
Marianna closed the door of her room and tore off the long gloves with shaking hands. She removed the beaded gown and thrust it far back in the armoire. She never wanted to see that beautiful garment again. She quickly slipped on the loose gown she had discarded earlier in the evening, snatched up a shawl, and ran from the room. She tore up the long, winding staircase to the tower room.
