I send him the grail to keep safe.”
“Safe?” Tarik repeated. “Do you know how often I’ve been tempted to melt it down and bury it?”
“But you couldn’t do it. Because, deep in your soul, you know you’re wrong.”
Kadar looked from one to the other. He could almost feel the tension and emotion vibrating in the room. He had been so absorbed with his own frustration, he had not paid any attention to the strange alchemy existing between the two. A very tumultuous and diverse river appeared to be flowing beneath the surface, carrying currents of deception, restraint, passion, and loyalty. “Why is he wrong?”
“I’m not wrong,” Tarik said. “It should stop here.”
“Is that why you gave it to Kadar?”
“I gave it to him because I wanted to save-” He wearily shook his head. “No, that was an excuse. I gave it to him because I was selfish and I wanted to be free.”
“At last,” Layla said. “Now, when you admit you have the right to be selfish and not godlike, we will have made great strides.”
“I don’t agree,” Kadar said. “I take umbrage at anyone being selfish with my well-being.” It was time to take control. “I believe you owe me a debt, Tarik.”
He could sense the sudden return of wariness in the room.
“He owes you nothing,” Layla said. “It’s you who owes him a debt.”
Kadar ignored her, concentrating on Tarik. “You disrupted the course of my life, you risked my sanity.” He recalled another thing Tarik mentioned that seemed important to him. “And you gave me no choice.”
“He couldn’t give you a choice,” Layla said. “You would have died if he-”
“Be silent, Layla. I don’t need you to defend me.” Tarik’s gaze was fastened on Kadar’s face. “I admit to all that.”
“Do you admit that you owe me a debt?”
“Perhaps.” He shook his head. “But I cannot let you use the grail.”
Kadar had hit a blank wall. He went in another direction. “I have value for you. You went to a great deal of trouble to choose me to act as guardian for your grail.”
“So?”
“Selene needs Nasim dead. I have to give her what she needs. With the grail, it will be much safer. But with or without it, I have to give her Nasim. I’m very good, but it’s clearly a near-impossible task. That means that my risks of being killed are entirely in your hands.”
Layla’s eyes widened. “Why, you bastard.”
“In truth, that’s exactly what I am. But it’s also true that the guilt is Tarik’s if he doesn’t provide me with the weapon I need.” He smiled at Layla. “And you’ve already told me how prone he is to suffer guilt.”
“He’s not prone to be made a fool.”
“If he were a fool, I’d try to trick him. I’m merely telling him the truth.” His gaze shifted to Tarik. “My death would not serve either your conscience or your well-being. Whom would you saddle with your grail? All your worrying and soul-searching would be for naught. Much better to let me have it.”
“No,” Layla said flatly.
“It’s my decision, Layla.” Tarik added wryly, “After all, you gave me the custody of it.”
“The risk is too great.”
“I promise you that I’ll return it safely,” Kadar said.
“Dead men don’t keep promises.”
“Tarik?”
“I’ll consider it.” He held up his hand to still Layla’s protest. “He speaks the truth, Layla. He could die. Nasim could kill him.”
“Either of us would die to save the grail from Nasim.”
“But it would be our choice.”
Kadar knew he had done all he could. He thought it would probably be enough. “You’ll let me know tomorrow?”
Tarik nodded. “Tomorrow evening. I’ll think about what you’ve said.”
Kadar turned to leave.
“But now I want a promise from you.”
Kadar glanced inquiringly over his shoulder.
“You say that Selene is too stunned to think of anything but Nasim, but what of you? Aren’t you avoiding thinking about Eshe too? I can think of at least three questions you should have asked me that you didn’t. Where is your curiosity, Kadar? You may not believe Eshe can do what Selket wished it to do, but what if it can? What if it’s not a myth? What if everyone could live far beyond their sixtieth year? Promise me you’ll think upon it.” Tarik smiled grimly. “And think what you risk in losing the grail, if it’s not a myth.”
Kadar nodded slowly. “A fair trade.”
But he didn’t want to consider those possibilities, he realized as he left the terrace. Tarik was right: He had been trying to avoid thinking about anything but the ways and means of accomplishing what Selene needed. He knew the reason he had instantly rejected the promise of Eshe was that he had known the idea held a fascination for him. It piqued his curiosity, and that had always been the goad setting him into motion. The chance to learn, to probe, to become more than when he started.
But he must not be caught by that lure. His entire attention must be devoted to helping Selene, not thinking of a clearly impossible-
But in helping Selene, he had made a promise to Tarik. That promise had virtually forced him to think of the possibility, the alluring myth.
Oh, yes.
He plunged eagerly into the wondrous territory of the impossible.
____________________
“It took you long enough. It’s the middle of the afternoon.” Selene threw open the door. “You could have persuaded God to make another world in this time.”
“It might have taken a little bit longer than that.” Kadar entered the chamber. “Though if I truly brought all my powers of persuasion to bear, it could-”
“What happened?”
“Tarik is going to consider it.” He held up his hand. “I don’t think there’s a doubt that he’ll do it.”
“There’s always doubt until he agrees. It couldn’t have taken this long. Why didn’t you come and tell me sooner?”
“I was busy.”
“Doing what?”
“I took a long walk.”
“A walk? And you let me wait for-” Her gaze narrowed on his face. It was almost without expression, and yet she was aware of something just beneath the surface. Excitement. It was the same excitement she had seen on his face the night before they had arrived at Sienbara. “What’s happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why do you look-”
“It has nothing to do with Nasim. And that’s the only subject in which you’re interested, isn’t it?”
He was wrong. She was intensely interested in whatever had stirred that excitement. But it was clear he wasn’t going to share it. She smothered her disappointment and nodded. “That’s the only thing that’s important right now.”
He smiled. “You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. When will we know?”
“Tomorrow evening.”
Her disappointment and frustration increased. “Perhaps I should talk to him.”
“I know it annoys you to sit and do nothing, but that would be the wrong thing to do. Let him come to the decision himself.”
“And we wait and twiddle our thumbs.”
“No, we sup. We talk. I need you to tell me more of Layla. He fights it, but she wields great influence with
