This Fierce Splendor

“I know that.” What words could she choose that would not offend his pride? “I suppose I needed to go back to that other time when I was so happy and tried to fool myself that things were the same. Forgive me.”

“It’s all right. I wanted you to forget about-” He broke off. “Not about Josh. Just what had made you unhappy. I’d never want you to forget about Josh.” He raised his head to look at her.

A ripple of shock robbed her of breath. Oh, no, please God, no, Rising Star prayed silently. Not Patrick. But she had seen that expression too many times in her own mirror not to recognize it when she saw it. The stunning surprise showed on her face, and she knew he could read the realization in her own expression.

He drew a deep breath. “Don’t be afraid. It won’t make any difference. I promise you I won’t bother you.”

“Patrick…”

“No, no,” he said urgently. “I tell you we can go on just the way we were.”

When she knew the pain he was going through? “How long have you felt this way?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Always, I guess. At least it seems that way.”

Oh, God, why couldn’t there be any justice? It wasn’t fair Patrick must suffer too. “You’ll have to go away.”

“No!” The answer was violent. “I won’t leave you. I know you can’t love me, but it won’t hurt anything for you to let me take care of you. You need someone to help you, and you won’t go back to Josh.”

She smiled sadly. “It will hurt you. I know how much it can hurt, Patrick.”

“Because you’ve been hurt?” He drew closer and took her left hand in both of his. “But this is different. I know there’s no hope you could love anyone but Josh.” He forced a smile. “Think of me as one of those knights in the books you used to read to us. They never expected anything from their ladies, just to carry their favors and fight a pesky dragon now and then. I think I’d be a rip-snorting wonder as a dragon fighter, don’t you?”

She was unbearably moved. Kneeling before her, the last rays of sunlight setting his auburn hair aflame, his young face grave, he could well have been Galahad from that time of courtly love. “Oh, yes, a great dragon fighter.”

He smiled again, this time with the beguiling mischief that was so much a part of him. “And every lady needs a knight when she goes journeying. Why not me?”

She hesitated. Would it be too selfish of her to let him stay with her until they reached Kantalan? He had filled the days with warmth and laughter, and she desperately needed that laughter. “Patrick, I don’t know.”

“I do.” He gave her hand a brisk squeeze and released it. “I’m going with you. Maybe if I find enough treasure to buy myself one of those Oriental dancing girls, I’ll forget all about you. Did you ever think about that?”

“No, I never did.”

“Well, it’s something you should consider.” He stood up and lifted her to her feet with easy strength. “I’m not going to moon after you forever. It won’t hurt you to put up with me for a little while longer. Just until I know you’re safe and happy again. You’ll probably think it over and go back to Josh once we get back from Kantalan.”

She slowly shook her head. “I do love you, Patrick, but it will never be the same as what I feel for Joshua.”

“I keep telling you, I don’t expect you to give me anything.” He smiled and his hard young face was suddenly lit with a gentle beauty. “I’ll be satisfied if you just take. All right?”

“No, it is not all right,” she said quietly. “But we’ll continue to Kantalan together. After that we’ll talk again.”

He let his breath out in a sigh of relief. “Fair enough.” He picked up the cotton cloth she had used to dry herself. “Now we’d better get back to camp before that coffee boils away.” He took her elbow and turned her in the direction from which he had come. His touch was light but protective.

The glow of pleasure she received from that touch gave her a fleeting moment of misgiving. Then she dismissed it. It was surely natural for her to find joy in Patrick’s companionship after the loneliness she had known. She turned to smile at him. “Thank you for helping me with my moccasins.”

“Putting them on you kind of reminded me of the trick I played on Cort when we were on that trail drive two years ago.” He grinned. “When he was asleep I bored a hole in each of his boots and then strung a piece of rawhide through…” His words rambled on, his tone easy and humorous, but that protective clasp never left her arm until they reached the camp.

There were rain clouds on the horizon.

Ramon Torres frowned as he paused at the crest of the hill. Bad luck. The rain would wash away the signs of Dominic and his gringa and he would probably not be able to find them again for a day or so. He had hoped to catch up to them by the end of the week when he had stopped at Rosario and learned they were only two days ahead of him.

Oh, well, he had been fortunate that the weather had held as long as it had. He would try to make it as far as he could on Dominic’s trail before the rain came. Then he would wait out the storm and have time to sit before the fire and dream the death dream. He had been pushing so hard, he had been too tired to give himself that pleasure of late. Perhaps the deity guiding all hunters had intervened to remind him that his thirst would be whetted only if he took time to anticipate.

After all, what were a few days when the kill was so near?

22

Dominic slipped under the blanket and gathered Elspeth into his arms. She tried to relax. He was back. Nothing had happened to him. She knew he would sense her tension-as he seemed to sense her every feeling and thought these days. Each time he left her now to check their back trail for signs of Torres, fear made every muscle of her body rigid until she heard the sound of Blanco’s hoofs returning.

“Elspeth?”

“Why do you do it?” she whispered. “Surely Torres isn’t following us. There’s been no sign of him in all this time.”

His fingers gently massaged her rigid shoulders. “It doesn’t hurt to be careful. I don’t like to be surprised.”

She turned to face him. “But you do think he’s still following us, don’t you?”

“I didn’t say that. I only want to-yes.”

“Why?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I can feel him out there. Waiting.”

She shivered. “Have you ever felt like this before?”

He nodded.

“Have you been right?”

He hesitated. “Yes.”

She felt sick as she realized how many nights of fear and tension it had taken to develop in him the instincts of a hunted animal. “Why do you let them do this to you? That Durbin man has no right to send his horrible killers after you. Why don’t you go after him and-” She stopped, horrified at the savage thought that had come to her.

“Kill him?” Dominic asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” She swallowed. “I know only that it isn’t right for him to do this to you. He has to be an evil, evil man to send men like Torres to try to murder you.”

“Or a man who loved his son and believed that I murdered him.”

“Patrick said it was a fair fight. You didn’t murder anyone.”

“Because I let him draw first?” His lips twisted. “I knew I was faster than he was. Do you know how I felt when I realized he was going to back me into a corner and make me draw? I was glad. I could feel the blood surging through my veins and I felt drunk with power. I don’t know if I murdered him or not, but when I saw my bullet tear into him, I felt as if I had.” He looked down at her. “Maybe I lied to you when I told you I wasn’t a murderer.”

“Oh, no. No.” Her arms tightened around him, feeling his guilt and pain as if it were her own. For a moment she had wanted Durbin dead, and she didn’t have the excuse of being the unthinking boy Dominic had been those long years ago. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault.”

“Maybe, but I know how Durbin feels. I’d probably feel the same way if it were my son.”

So he would continue to let Durbin send men like Torres after him until someday… She couldn’t bear to think