belong to them more than just about anything, wanted their approval. What hurt him most at that moment was that he still hungered to belong just as he had when he had first come to the Kwahadi. Thirsted for their approval like a man many days in the desert. To belong, he would now shove aside his gnawing suspicion.
“Let us … let’s go tell our war chief his plan has worked,” Tall One eventually said, turning away from watching the soldier column, back to the smirking faces of the others.
“For all their looking, those stupid Tonkawa haven’t come up with a feather, not one Kwahadi pony, much less a single lodge,” Tortoise Shell said. “We give them tracks to follow, to follow clear to the end of yesterday! As for what they will think, let them think we have disappeared into the air.”
“Come,” Standing said. “We’ll ride back to the canyon, where the earth can swallow us whole!”
Dives Backward laughed, his head thrown back. “To the canyon, where the white man’s trackers will never find us!”
37
THIS GREAT CREVASSE in the austere tabletop prairie of the Llano Estacado was nothing less than one of the wonders of the Grandfather’s hand. Old men attempted to explain how the canyon had grown so deep, yet remained so fertile, lush with many varieties of trees and plant life, along with the rich grasses that fed their great pony herd.
“Grandfather dragged his fingernail along the face of the ground,” said the old ones. “He carved this place of safety out for The People. Here: away from the eyes of the Tonkawa, away from the guns of the pony soldiers.”
That morning Tall One lay wrapped in the furry warmth of his buffalo robe, listening to the silence in the camp. Above him the smoke hole of Bridge’s lodge showed that sunrise was not long in coming. Here he lay a thousand feet below the surface of the prairie, where already the sun would be warming the earth. But this far down the shadows hung deep, the cold persisted, and a young man’s thoughts turned on autumn.
It was a time he remembered in some visceral way, more than any clear and distinct memories. More some beads of recollections turning on sensations and smells, or the feel of the cool air against his skin as he pushed aside the buffalo robe and pulled on his shirt, breechclout, and leggings. When his moccasins were tied, Tall One glanced at Bridge, saw that the man’s eyes were open, smiling at his adopted son.
With a smile of his own for the aging warrior, Tall One turned and ducked from the lodge as silent as a sliver of night itself.
He drank deep of the morning coolness, sensing its tang deep in his lungs. It was there the memories resided. Not so much his lungs, but deep, deeper still within him where his blood coursed and his heart pounded in anticipation of this autumn morning.
What beauty this place held for those who came here season after season, he thought. Many times before the Kwahadi had traveled to this canyon—what the Comanche called the “Place of the Chinaberry Trees”—a sanctuary of safety from the soldiers, a place of shelter from the battering of winter blizzards. This season the Shahiyena of Stone Calf, the Kiowa of Lone Wolf and Mamanti and Poor Buffalo, had come to join them, off the reservation and away from the many soldier columns rumored to be out and moving this season before the coming of winter. Their camps lay upstream where their herds grazed. This village of the Kwahadi was the last of the five circles.
Above him the narrow walls rose abruptly toward the prairie beyond, where the rose-tinted gold of dawn’s light illuminated a narrow strip of deep azure sky strung raggedly with dispersing clouds, there between the reds and ochers, pinks and buff-creams that striated the canyon in brilliant layers. Here at the bottom lay the lush greens in many hues: stands of cedar and cottonwood, the mesquite and willow that all drank their fill from the Prairie Dog Town Fork of the Red River.
The prospect of a day filled with sun excited Tall One. There had been too many long, endless days of rain and mud, of numbing cold and chill winds as they lured the soldiers away, feinted, attacked, then lured the soldiers some more. The thought of having the sun caress his skin made the young man feel more alive than he had in a long time.
Overhead the world must surely be alive already. Down here the day still awaited its awakening. Only the most industrious would be up, he thought, his nostrils pricked with the pungent, earthy fragrance of cedar smoke. In among the deep green and the bright yellows of the changing cottonwood leaves, wisps of gray hung in tattered streamers. The smoke reminded him of breakfast, and that in turn caused his stomach to growl.
The rumble sent from deep within him reminded Tall One of cold autumn mornings like this one, rising in the darkness with the others, quickly pulling on his clothing as he had done, his nose filled with the smells of a mother’s labors over her stove and skillets. Sweet wood smoke and slices of sugar-cured ham. Hominy at the boil and the coffeepot steaming. He had learned to drink coffee early as a child. A good warmth to carry in one’s belly on those days the whole family tramped off to the fields before sunrise, together.
“Bring in the crops,” he said aloud. Startled that he had said it in English.
Autumn—a time he remembered working his young muscles alongside the others from those moments before dawn until every last sliver of light had been pushed from the evening sky, then eating his supper although he was half-asleep. Stumbling off to bed where his weary, joyous muscles sang in praise of a long night’s rest before they would get up and do it all over again. Day after long autumn day, until the crops were in and his father would once more turn the ground in anticipation of winter.
One final turn, the man had taught them. The better to soak up what moisture winter’s snows brought them.
He recalled how the ground would often-steam, the warm undersoil resurrected into the cool air of a chill autumn morning much like this one. Just the way the belly of a slain buffalo would steam into the frosty air of a winter morning as the men and women set about butchering their kill.
It was then that Tall One remembered with his own seeing the great, incomprehensible litter of rotting carcasses that stretched mile after endless mile across the rolling prairie now far above him. Those great piles of bones and skulls where gathered the carrion eaters always brought a great pain to him—this dying of something without its chance to regenerate. Up there on the buffalo ground, the grasshoppers and locusts and other winged ones had descended from the pale autumn skies to seize dominion over the tall, withered grasses. Fewer of the shaggy beasts now to graze upon that land.
Those white hide men. Come to take without returning something in the great cycle of life.
His first father had been a white man. Yet for a reason he could not name, Tall One sensed that the man in some unspoken way understood that mystical circle of life. If for no other reason than his father always turned the soil, Tall One believed that his first father did indeed understand that he must return something back to the soil for what he had taken from it. So it was the man had turned over the warm, fertile ground, and with it turned under the stalks and roots, the stems and leaves, all of it to nourish once more the dark loam as it lay under the white breast of winter, where it would once more await the call of spring’s awakening.
At the edge of the creek he knelt, bent forward, and leaned far out over the water by supporting himself on his elbows. There he drank of the cold water, then drew back and wiped his mouth. Staring down at his rippling reflection. Something about it—the eyes, maybe the nose. Tall One gathered his long hair in one hand and pulled it behind his neck. Staring, studying that reflection intently. Uncanny, how it made him think of his father.
No, his first father.
Sensing now the teasing recollection, the dim memory of so many people telling a boy how much he favored his pa.
Memories were dim, had for the most part remained very dim over the years—until he really studied his reflection in the smooth surface of that stream. Would now the man have hair touched with the iron of many winters? Or like his second father—Bridge—would his first father have only a touch of gray at the temples?
And how many wrinkles would he have? Would the seams carve themselves deeply into his face, like the faces of the old ones in this camp in the canyon?
What of his hands—those hands that had brought calves and piglets and foals into the world, those hands that had struck out as he corrected his children, hands that had also caressed his sons and daughter with his crude,
