“All right,” Tom answered.
“Generally, the first one to talk to you won’t be the leader. Pay attention, you’ll be able to tell who the leader is, so when you start negotiating, that’s the one you want to negotiate with. And, this is important. Don’t ask who is the leader, you have to figure that out on your own. If you do that, he will take it as a compliment, meaning that his leadership is so evident that even a stranger can pick it up.”
“How will I find them?” Tom asked. “I mean, I know they are at the Washita, but how will I find them?”
“You won’t have to find them. They’ll find you,” Smoke said.
“All right,” Tom said again.
“It may be that they will all come toward you, especially since you will be alone, but more than likely, they’ll leave a few behind. And, as they come toward you, greet them like this.”
Smoke held his arm up, crooked at the elbow, with the palm facing out.
“That will show them that you have come in peace.”
“Do you really say ‘how’, when you meet an Indian?” Tom asked.
Smoke chuckled. “That’s close enough,” he said. “Actually, the word is ‘hau’.” Smoke put a guttural phrasing to the word that made it more distinctive, though it was close enough to ‘how’ that Tom could see where that came from.
“Should he take his pistol, or leave it behind?” Clay asked.
“Well of course he is going to take a pistol,” Rebecca said. “You are sending him out to face the Indians alone. Would you send him unarmed as well?”
“I will not take a pistol,” Tom said.
“Why not?” Rebecca asked.
“Think about it,” Tom said. “If they want to kill me, there is nothing I could do about it, even if I had a pistol, especially considering how many of them there are, and how ineffective I am with such a weapon. On the other if I face them without a weapon, they might perceive that as being without fear.”
“Tom does have a point, Rebecca,” Smoke said.
“I do have one more question,” Tom said.
“What’s that?”
“You said I should show them that my medicine is strong. How do I do that?”
Smoke sighed. “Yeah,” he said. “That one will be hard, but you are going to have to do it.”
“How?”
“It is important, no, let’s say it is vital, that you show no fear. No matter what they do, you must not show fear.”
“Do you think you can do that, Tom?” Clay asked.
“Nobody can show no fear at all,” Rebecca said, anxiously.
“I can do it,” Tom said.
“Tom, no, you know you—”
“Rebecca, look at me,” Tom said.
Rebecca looked at him.
“I can do it,” Tom said resolutely.
Dusty and Dalton returned then with the three cows, tied together by one long rope. And as Tom had requested, a bell had been attached to the lead cow. Tom started toward his horse.
“No,” Clay said. “Don’t take that horse, take Thunder. I’ve seen you ride, Tom,” Clay said. “Maybe you can’t shoot, but I’ve never seen anyone who could ride better than you, and on Thunder I doubt there is an Indian in the territory who could catch you. If it looks like things aren’t going to go the way you think they should, you put spurs in Thunder’s side and get the hell out of there.”
“Now that is the most intelligent thing I’ve heard yet,” Rebecca said.
“I’ll get Thunder saddled for you, Tom,” Dalton said.
“Thanks.”
“Dalton, wait,” Clay called. “I seem to recall that Dohate has a taste for horehound candy. I know you got some while we were in Dodge. Do you have any left?”
Dalton was a little embarrassed by the question. He had bought some, but he wanted to keep it secret, not to prevent any of the others from having any, but because he was afraid they would think it was childish.
“Yeah, I’ve got some left,” he admitted sheepishly.
“After you get Thunder saddled, give some of it to Tom. He might have a use for it.”
“All right,” Dalton agreed.
“Tom?” Rebecca called.
Rebecca turned and walked toward the wagon, indicating that she wanted him to come to her. He did.
“Rebecca, you aren’t going to be able to talk me out of this,” Tom said.
“I know,” she said. “So I won’t even try.”
“Good.”
“Do you love me, Tom?”
“Rebecca, this hardly seems the time or place for us to discuss something like this.”
“I will ask you again, very slowly, and very distinctly. Do—you—love—me—Tom? It’s not a hard question.”
“Rebecca, there are things about my past that you don’t know,” Tom said. He held up his hands and looked at them. It was as if he could still see the blood.
“I don’t care about your past, Tom. I only care about now,” Rebecca said. “I know that you are not who you seem to be. I know you are not a cowboy. I know you are not a Westerner. I know that you have an education, a wonderful education, more than anyone I have ever known. And I know that you must have come from a life that is very different from this one. And whatever it was that made you give up that life must have been something very significant. I don’t know what it was and I don’t care what it was.
“I only know that here, you have been able to make a new start. Half the men in the West are not that different, Tom. There are many men here, and women too, who are making a new start.”
“Tom, we’ve got the horse here, ready to go,” Clay called.
“Do you love me, Tom?”
“This is not good for either one of us, Rebecca.”
“I’m only going to ask you this one more time, Tom. This has nothing to do with who you are, what you are, or what you are running from. This has only to do with you and me, right here, and right now. Do you love me, Tom?”
“Yes,” Tom said. “For both of our sakes I wish I could say otherwise, but, God help us, yes, Rebecca, I do love you.”
Rebecca smiled, then kissed him, a short, brushing peck only, on the lips.
“Come back to me safely, Tom,” she said.
Tom nodded and looked at her, opening himself up to her so that she could look deep into his eyes, all the way to the scars on his soul. Then, turning away from her without speaking another word, he started toward Dalton, who was holding both Thunder, and the string of three cows.
Smoke came over to talk to him.
“Tom,” Smoke said. “Even leading the cows, you should be there within an hour. As soon as you give them the cows, turn and start back. Do not break into a gallop. At a gait that is comfortable for the horse, you should be back here within two hours from right now. If you are not back here within two hours, we are coming after you.”
“I’ll be back,” Tom said.
Smoke reached out to shake Tom’s hand. “I’m sure you will be,” he said.
As Tom rode toward his rendezvous with Dohate and the Indians Dohate had with him, he thought of his conversation with Rebecca. Should he have confessed to her that he did love her? Wouldn’t it have been much better to tell her that he didn’t, rather than build her up for what could never be?
Or should he tell her of his past? No, he had told her, but it did no good.
Like turning the pages of a book, a part of his past opened up to him.
