Scared.
A thought more than a feeling now.
Adam Murvall.
Did you hurt your sister? Is that where the look in your eyes comes from? Is that why you got so angry today?
Nothing but fear. Force it aside.
Where’s my jacket, with my pistol? But he’s just staring at me, smiling, leering, and then he stares again, confused, pulls his foot back, doesn’t force his way in, pulls his hands back, turns and leaves as quickly as he must have come.
Shit.
Her hands are shaking, her body twitchy with adrenalin, her heart racing.
Malin looks out into the stairwell. There’s a note on the stone steps, shaky handwriting:
As if all this were a steak, or dough, or a tired old man. Then a vague threat. You should . . .
Now Malin feels it again, the fear, it bubbles up as the adrenalin runs out of her body and fear becomes terror, and fast, shallow breathing takes over.
How the hell could he be so fucking stupid?
The man outside the door.
He could have taken me, just like that. Broken me.
I was alone.
She goes back to the sofa. Sinks down. Resists the temptation to drink tequila. Five minutes pass, ten, maybe half an hour before she pulls herself together and calls Zeke.
‘He’s just been here.’
‘Who?’
Suddenly Malin can’t say his name.
‘The one with blue-black eyes.’
‘Adam Murvall? Do you want a patrol?’
‘No, for heaven’s sake. He’s gone.’
‘Fuck, Malin. Fuck. What did he do?’
‘I think you could say that he threatened me.’
‘We’ll pick him up at once. Come in as soon as you’re ready to. Or do you want me to come and pick you up?’
‘I’ll be fine on my own, thanks.’
Three cars with blue lights, two more than just a few hours ago. Adam Murvall sees them through the window, they stop outside his house; he makes himself ready, knows why they have come, why he did what he did.
‘You have to say no.’
And a thousand other things. Little sister, big brother, events in the forest; if you persuade yourself of one truth, perhaps a different truth doesn’t exist?
‘Go and pay a visit to that female pig, Adam. Give her the note, then leave.’
‘Mother, I . . .’
‘Go.’
The doorbell rings. Upstairs Anna and the children are asleep, his brothers sleeping in their own houses. Four uniformed officers outside the door.
‘Can I put my jacket on?’
‘Are you arguing with us, you bastard?’
And the police are on him, he’s fighting for breath on the floor, they force him down and Anna and the children are standing on the stairs, screaming and shouting, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
In the yard other policemen are holding his brothers back as they lead him like a chained wild dog to the waiting van.
Further off, in the illuminated window, stands Mother. He sees her, in spite of his bowed, stiff back.
34
The cold eats up the last of the anxiety and fear, and the effects of adrenalin have already worn off. The closer Malin gets to Police Headquarters, the more prepared she feels to face Adam Murvall now, and the other brothers tomorrow. Because however much they may want to live outside society, they have stepped into it now, and after that step there is no return, if there ever was.
When Malin walks past the old fire station, she comes to think of her mum and dad, without knowing quite why.
