hungry larvae.
I was consulted on the case three weeks after the arrest. It was a back - page story now and someone got to thinking about the victims.
The victims were going through hell.
The children woke up screaming in the middle of the night. Toddlers who'd been toilet - trained started to wet and soil themselves. Formerly quiet, well - behaved kids began to hit, kick and bite without provocation. There were lots of stomach aches and ambiguous physical symptoms reported, as well as the classic signs of depression - loss of appetite, listlessness, withdrawal, feelings of worthlessness.
The parents were racked with guilt and shame, seeing or imagining the accusing glances of family and friends. Husbands and wives turned on each other. Some of them spoiled the victimized children, increasing the youngsters' insecurity and infuriating the siblings. Later, several brothers and sisters were able to admit that they'd wished they'd been molested in order to be eligible for special treatment. Then they'd felt guilty about those thoughts.
Entire families were coming apart, much of their suffering obscured by the public blood lust for Hickle's head. The families might have been permanently shunted to obscurity, saddled with their confusion, guilt and fear but for the fact that the great aunt of one of the victims was a philanthropic member of the board of Western Pediatric Medical Center. She wondered out loud why the hell the hospital wasn't doing anything, and where was the institution's sense of public service, anyway. The chairman of the board salaamed and simultaneously saw the chance to grab some good press. The last story about Western Peds had exposed salmonella in the cafeteria's cole slaw, so positive PR. was mighty welcome.
The medical director issued a press release announcing a psychological rehabilitation program for the victims of Stuart Hickle, with me as therapist. My first inkling of being appointed was reading about it in the Times.
When I got to his office the next morning I was ushered in immediately. The director, a pediatric surgeon who hadn't operated in twenty years and had acquired the smugness of a well - fed bureaucrat, sat behind a gleaming desk the size of a hockey field and smiled.
'What's going on, Henry?' I held up the newspaper.
'Sit down, Alex. I was just about to call you. The board decided you'd be perfect - pluperfect - for the job. Some urgency was called for.'
'I'm flattered.'
'The board remembered the beautiful work you did with the Brownings.'
'Brownells.'
'Yes, whatever.'
The five Brownell youngsters had survived a light plane crash in the Sierras that had killed their parents. They'd been physically and psychologically traumatized - over - exposed, half - starved, amnesiac, mute. I'd worked with them for two months and the papers had picked up on it.
'You know, Alex,' the director was saying, 'sometimes in the midst of trying to synthesize the high technology and heroics that comprise so much of modern medicine, one loses sight of the human factor.'
It was a great little speech. I hoped he'd remember it when budget time rolled around next year.
He went on stroking me, talking about the need for the hospital to be in the 'forefront of humanitarian endeavors,' then smiled and leaned forward.
'Also, I imagine there'd be significant research potential in all of this - at least two or three publications by June.'
June was when I came up for full professorship. The director was on the tenure committee at the medical school.
'Henry, I believe you're appealing to my baser instincts.'
'Perish the thought.' He winked slyly. 'Our main interest is helping those poor, poor children.' He shook his head. 'A truly repugnant affair. The man should be castrated.' A surgeon's justice.
I threw myself, with customary monomania, into designing the treatment program. I received permission to run the therapy sessions in my private office after promising that Western Peds would get all the credit.
My goals were to help the families express the feelings that had been locked inside since Hickle's subterranean rites had been exposed, and to help them share those feelings with each other in order to see that they weren't alone. The therapy was designed as an intensive, six - week program, using groups - the kids, parents, siblings and multiple families - as well as individual sessions as needed. Eighty percent of the families signed up and no one dropped out. We met at night in my suite on Wilshire, when the building was quiet and empty.
There were nights when I left the sessions physically and emotionally drained after hearing the anguish pour out like blood from a gaping wound. Don't let anyone ever tell you different: Psychotherapy is one of the most taxing endeavors known to mankind. I've done all sorts of work, from picking carrots in the scorching sun to sitting on national committees in paneled boardrooms, and there's nothing that compares to confronting human misery, hour after hour, and bearing the responsibility for easing that misery using only one's mind and mouth. At its best it's tremendously uplifting, as you watch the patient open up, breathe, let go of the pain. At its worst it's like surfing in a cesspool, struggling for balance while being slapped with wave after putrid wave.
The treatment worked. Sparkle returned to the kids' eyes. The families reached out and helped each other. Gradually, my role diminished to that of silent observer.
A few days before the last session I received a call from a reporter for National Medical News - a throwaway for physicians. His name was Bill Roberts, he was in town and wanted to interview me. The piece would be for practicing pediatricians, to alert them to the issue of child molestation. It sounded like a worthy project and I agreed to meet him.
It was seven - thirty in the evening when I nosed my car out of the hospital parking lot and headed westward. Traffic was light and I reached the black - granite - and - glass tower that housed my office by eight. I parked in the subterranean garage, walked through double glass doors into a lobby that was silent save for Muzak and rode the elevator to the sixth floor. The doors slid open, I made my way down the corridor, turned a corner and stopped.
There was nobody waiting for me, which was unusual because I'd always found reporters to be punctual.
I approached my office door and saw a stiletto of light slashed diagonally across the floor. The door was ajar, perhaps an inch. I wondered if the night cleaning crew had let Roberts in. If so I'd have a talk with the building manager over that breach of security.
When I reached the door I knew something was wrong. There were scratch marks around the knob, metal filings in the rug. Yet, as if working from a script, I entered.
'Mr. Roberts?'
The waiting room was empty. I went into the consultation office. The man on my sofa wasn't Bill Roberts. I'd never met him but I knew him very well.
Stuart Hickle slumped in the soft cotton cushions. His head - what was left of it - was propped against the wall, the eyes staring vacantly at the ceiling. His legs splayed out spastically. One hand rested near a wet spot on his groin. He had an erection. The veins in his neck stood out in has relief. His other hand lay limply across his chest. One finger hooked around the trigger of an ugly little blue steel pistol. The gun dangled, butt downward, the muzzle an inch from Hickle's open mouth. There were bits of brain, blood and bone on the wall behind the head. A crimson splotch decorated the soft - green print of the wallpaper like a child's finger painting More crimson ran out of the nose, the ears and the mouth. The room smelled of firecrackers and human waste.
I dialed the phone.
The coroner's verdict was death by suicide. The final version went something like this: Hickle had been profoundly depressed since his arrest and, unable to bear the public humiliation of a trial, he'd taken the Samurai way out. It was he, as Bill Roberts, who'd set up the appointment with me, he who'd picked the lock and blown his brains out. When the police played me tapes of his confession the voice did sound similar to that of 'Roberts' - at least similar enough to prevent my saying it wasn't a match.
As for why he'd chosen my office for his swan song, the supporting cast of shrinks had an easy answer: Because of my role as the victims' therapist, I was a symbolic father figure, undoing the damage he'd perpetrated. His death was an equally symbolic gesture of repentance.
