“Dah!” He’d found the dolls. Three men, a woman, a little boy. Small, soft plastic and pink, with bland, guileless faces, anatomically correct bodies, and detachable limbs. Next to them another pair of cars, larger than the first two, one red, one blue. A miniature child’s car seat had been placed in the rear seat of the blue one.
I stood, adjusted the video camera so that it was trained on the table, then sat on the floor next to him.
He picked up the blue car and positioned the dolls using a familiar sequence: one man driving, another next to him, the woman behind the driver, the child in the car seat. The red car was empty. One male doll remained on the table.
He flapped his arms and tugged his nose. Holding the blue car at arm’s length, he looked away from it.
I patted his shoulder. “It’s all right, Darren.”
He inhaled, blew out air, picked up the red car and placed both vehicles on the floor, two feet apart, grille to grille. Taking another deep breath, he puffed up his cheeks and let out a scream, then smashed them together full force.
The male passenger and the woman flew out and landed on the carpet. The boy doll slumped in its harness, head down.
It was the driver doll that held his attention- lying across the front seat, its flight restrained by one foot caught in the steering wheel. Huffing, the boy struggled to pull it loose. Tugged and twisted, started to grunt with frustration, but finally managed to free it. He held it away from his body, examined its plastic face, and yanked its head off. Then he placed it next to the little boy.
I heard a gasp from across the room and turned. Denise Burkhalter ducked back behind her book.
Oblivious of her reaction, the boy dropped the headless body, picked up the female doll, hugged it, put it down. Then he returned to the male dolls- the decapitated driver and the front-seat passenger. Raising them over his head, he threw them against the wall, watched them hit, then fall.
He looked at the child slumped in the seat and picked up the head next to it. After rolling it under his palm, he tossed it aside.
He stepped toward the male doll that hadn’t been moved- the driver of the other car- took another step, froze, then backed away.
The room was silent except for the hum of the camera. A page turned. He stood still for several moments, then was overtaken by a burst of hyperactivity so fierce it electrified the room.
Giggling, he rocked back and forth, wrung his hands and waved them in the air, sputtering and spitting. He ran from one side of the room to the other, kicking book-shelves, chairs, the desk, scuffing the baseboards, clawing the walls and leaving little greasy smudges on the plaster. His laughter rose in pitch before giving way to a croupy bark followed by a rush of tears. Throwing himself to the floor, he thrashed for a while, then curled fetally and lay there, sucking his thumb.
His mother remained behind her book.
I went to him and scooped him up in my arms.
His body was tense and he was chewing hard on his thumb. I held him in my lap, told him everything was okay, he was a good boy. His eyes opened for an instant, then closed. Milk-sweet breath mingled with the not unpleasant odor of child sweat.
“Do you want to go to Mommy?”
Drowsy nod.
She still hadn’t moved. I said, “Denise.” Nothing. I repeated her name.
She put the paperback in her purse, strung the purse over one shoulder, got up, and took him.
We left the library and walked toward the front of the house. By the time we reached the door he was sleeping. I held the door open. Cool air blew in. A gentle summer that kept threatening to heat up. From the distance came the sound of a motorized lawnmower.
“Any questions you want to ask me, Denise?”
“Nope.”
“How’d he sleep this week?”
“The same.”
“Six or seven nightmares?”
“About. I didn’t count- do I still have to?”
“It would help to know what’s going on.”
No response.
“The legal part of the evaluation is over, Denise. I have enough information for Mr. Worthy. But Darren’s still struggling- totally normal for what he’s been through.”
No response.
“He’s come a long way,” I said, “but he hasn’t been able to act out the role of the… other driver yet. There’s plenty of fear and anger still in him. It would help him to express it. I’d like to see him some more.”
She looked at the ceiling.
“Those dolls,” she said.
“I know. It’s hard to watch.”
She bit her lip.
“But it’s helpful for Darren, Denise. We can try having you wait outside next time. He’s ready for it.”
She said, “It’s far, coming up here.”
“Bad traffic?”
“The pits.”
“How long did it take you?”
“Hour and three quarters.”
Tujunga to Beverly Glen. A forty-minute freeway ride. If you could handle freeways.
“Surface streets jammed?”
“Uh huh. And you’ve got some curvy roads up here.”
“I know. Sometimes when-”
Suddenly she was backing away. “Why do you make yourself so hard to get to, living up here! If you want to help people, why do you make it so damned hard!”
I waited a moment before answering. “I know it’s been rough, Denise. If you’d rather meet in Mr. Worthy’s-”
“Oh, forget it!” And she was out the door.
I watched her carry her son across the deck and down the stairs. His weight caused her to waddle. Her ungainliness made me want to rush down and help her. Instead, I stood there and watched her struggle. She finally made it to the rental car, worked hard at opening the rear door with one hand. Bending low, she managed to get Darren’s limp body into the car seat. Slamming the door shut, she walked around to the driver’s side and threw open the front door.
Putting her key in the ignition, she lowered her head to the steering wheel and let it rest there. She sat that way for a while before turning on the engine.
