'You're probably right.' I sounded glum.
'Some shrink I am,' she said.
'No, no. It's good talking about it.'
She snuggled up against me. 'You're sweet to say so, whether it's true or not. And I'm glad you told me what's on your mind. You never used to talk much about your work. The few times I tried, you changed the subject, so I could tell you weren't comfortable with it and I never pushed. I know part of it was confidentiality, but I really wasn't after gory details, Alex. I just wanted to know what you were going through so I could support you. I guess you were protectingme.'
'Maybe I was,' I said. 'But to tell the truth, I never really knew you wanted to hear any of it.'
'Why's that?'
'You always seemed more interested in-how can I say thisangles and planes.'
She gave a small laugh. 'Yeah, you're right. I never was much for
touchy-feely. In fact, when we first met, the one thing that I wasn't sure I liked about you was that you were a psychologist. Not that it stopped me from chasing you shamelessly, but it did surprise me-being attracted to a shrink. I didn't know a thing about psychology, never even took a course in college. Probably because of Dad. He was always making comments about crazy psychiatrists, crooked doctors. Going on about how anyone who didn't work with his hands couldn't be trusted.
But as I got to know you and saw how serious you were about what you did, I loosened up. Tried to learn-I even read some of your psych books. Did you know that?'
I shook my head.
She smiled. At night, in the library. I used to sneak in when you were sleeping and I couldn't. Schedules of Reinforcement. Cognitive Theory. Pretty strange stuff for a woodchopper like me.'
'I never knew,' I said, amazed.
She shrugged. 'I was... embarrassed. I don't really know why.
Not that I was trying to be an expert or anything. Just wanted to be closer to you. I'm sure I didn't send out a clear message... not sympathetic enough. I guess what I'm saying is, I hope we can continue this way. letting each other in a little more.'
'Sure we can,' I said. 'I never found you unsympathetic, just-' 'Preoccupied? Self-obsessed?'
She looked up at me with another chest-tightening smile. Big white upper incisors. The ones I liked to lick.
'Strongly focused,' I said. 'You're one a them artsy-fartsy creative types. Need intense concentration.'
'Strongly focused, huh?'
'Definitely.'
She laughed. 'We've definitely got a thing for each other, Dr. Delaware. Probably chemical-pheromones or whatever.'
'That we do, that we do.'
She put her head on my chest. I stroked her hair and thought of her going into the library, reading my books.
'Can we try again?' I said. 'Will you come back?'
She tensed hard as bone.
'Yes,' she said. 'God, yes.'
She sat up, took my face in her hands and kissed it. Scrambled on me, straddling me, her arms down over my shoulders, gripping.
