'The nurse in New Jersey,' I said. 'What made you bring that up?'
'Still on that?'
I waited.
'No big deal,' she said. 'I told you, there was a book and I read it, that's all. I don't like to read those kinds of things usually, but someone gave it to me, so I read it. Okay?'
She was smiling, but suddenly her eyes had filled with tears. She flailed at her face, trying to dry it with her fingers. I looked around the room. No tissues. My handkerchief was clean and I gave it to her.
She looked at it, ignored it. Her face stayed wet, mascara tracing black cat-scratches through the impasto of her makeup.
'Who gave you the book?' I said.
Her face clogged with pain. I felt as if I'd stabbed her.
'It had nothing to do with Cassie. Believe me.'
Okay. What exactly did this nurse do?'
'Poisoned babies-with lidocaine. But she was no nurse.
Nurses love kids. Real nurses.' Her eyes shifted to the bumper sticker on the wall and she cried harder.
When she stopped, I held out the handkerchief again. She pretended it wasn't there. 'What do you want from me?'
'Some honesty-' About what?'
All the hostility I've been getting from you-' 'I said I was sorry about that.'
'I don't need an apology, Vicki. My honor isn't the issue and we don't have to be buddies make talky-talk. But we do have to communicate well enough to take care of Cassie. And your behaviors getting in the way.'
'I disag-' 'It is, Vicki. And I know it can't be anything I've said or done because you were hostile before I opened my mouth. So its obvious you have something against psychologists, and I suspect its because they've failed you or mistreated you.'
'What are you doing? Analyzing me?'
'Iflneedto.'
that's not fair.'
'If you want to keep working the case, lets get it out in the open.
Lord knows its difficult enough as is. Cassie's getting sicker each time she comes in; no one knows what the hell's going on. A few more seizures like the one you saw and she could be at risk for some serious brain damage. We can't afford to get distracted by interpersonal crap.'
Her lip shook and scooted forward.
'Tthere's no need,' she said, 'to swear.
'Sorry. Besides my foul mouth, what do you have against me?'
'Nothing.'
'Baloney, Vicki.'
'Tthere's really no-' 'You don't like shrinks,' I said, 'and my intuition is you've got a good reason.'
She sat back. 'That so?'
I nodded. 'There are plenty of bad ones out there, happy to take your money without doing anything for you.
