Bad Love

locks. Saws and drills and wood shavings on the ground floor. The sleeping loft in which we'd made love so many times…

'Thanks,' I said, 'but I can't stay away indefinitely- the house needs maintenance. Not to mention the fish that're left.'

That sounded trivial, but she said, 'That poor fish. And you worked so hard to keep them alive.'

She touched my cheek.

'Welcome home,' I said glumly.

'Don't worry about that, Alex. Let's just figure out how to deal with this stupidity until it's resolved.'

'I don't want to put you in any danger. Maybe you should move to the shop-'

'And leave you alone in the middle of this?'

'I just want to make sure you're okay.'

'How okay do you think I'm going to be, worrying every minute about you? I mean, the fish are wonderful, Alex, but you can hire someone to feed them. Hire someone to look after the whole house, for that matter.'

'Pack up the wagons and head out?'

'What's wrong with being a little cautious, honey?'

'I don't know… it just seems awfully drastic- all that's really happened is malicious mischief.'

'So why were you so upset when you told me about it?'

'Sorry. I didn't want to upset you.'

'Of course it upsets me,' she said. 'Someone sending you weird tapes, sneaking in and…' She put her arm around my shoulder. The light changed to green and I turned left.

'Goes with the territory,' she repeated. 'All those troubled people you've worked with over the years. All that misdirected passion. The surprising thing isn't that it happened. It's how long it took.'

'You never said it worried you.'

'It wasn't a matter of worry- I didn't obsess on it. Just thought about it from time to time.'

'You never said anything.'

'What would have been the point? I didn't want to upset you.'

I lifted her hand from my shoulder and kissed it.

'Okay,' she said, 'so we protect each other, Curly. Ain't that what true love's all about?'

• • •

I pulled up in front of the house. No obvious signs of intrusion.

I said, 'Just let me check around for a sec before you get out.'

'Oh, really,' she said. But she stayed in the car.

I gave the pond a quick inspection. The fish moved with nighttime languor, and none was missing.

I jogged up the stairs to the landing, checked the front door, peered in through the living room window. Something moved as the drapes parted. The dog's face pressed against the glass, wetting it. I raised my hand in greeting. He pawed the window. I could hear the jazz through the redwood walls.

By the time I got back down, Robin was lifting her valise from the trunk. When I tried to take it from her, she said, 'I've got it,' and headed for the steps.

As I unlocked the front door, she said, 'We could at least get an alarm. Everyone else has one.'

'Never been a slave to fashion,' I said, but when she didn't smile, I added, 'Okay. I'll call a company tomorrow.'

We walked in and almost tripped over the bulldog, who'd positioned himself on the welcome mat. He stared from Robin to me, then back to her, where he lingered with Churchillian dignity.

Robin said, 'My God.'

'What?' I said.

'He invented cute, Alex. Come here, sweetie.' She bent down to his level with one hand extended, palm down.

He trotted forward without hesitation, jumped up, put his paws on her shoulders, and embarked on a lick- fest.

'Ooh!' She laughed. 'What a handsome boy you are- what a cutie- look at those muscles!'

She stood, wiping her face, still laughing. The dog continued to nuzzle and paw her legs. His tongue was out and he was panting.

She placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a grave look. 'Sorry, Alex. There is now another man in my life.' Bending, she rubbed him behind the ears.

'Crushed,' I said, placing a hand over my heart. 'And you might reconsider- he doesn't have gonads.'

'Them's the breaks,' she said, smiling. 'Look at that face!'

'Also, he snores.'

'So do you, once in a while.'

'You never told me.'

She shrugged. 'I kick you and usually you stop- well, just look at you, you little hunk. Apathy's not your problem, is it?'

She knelt back down and got her face rebathed. 'What a doll!'

'Think of the ramifications on your social life,' I said. 'Meatloaf and kibble by candlelight.'

She laughed again and roughed the dog's fur.

As the two of them played, I picked up the suitcase and carried it into the bedroom, checking rooms as I passed, trying not to be obvious. Everything looked fine. I took Robin's clothes out and arranged them on the bed.

When I got back, she was on the leather couch, the dog's head in her lap. 'I know this is heartless, Alex, but I hope his owner never calls. How long, legally, do you have to run the ad?'

'I'm not sure.'

'There's got to be a limit, right? Some sort of statute of limitations?'

'Probably.'

Her smile disappeared. 'With my luck someone'll show up tomorrow and cart him off.'

She covered another yawn. The dog looked at her, fascinated.

'Tired?' I said.

'A little. Everything okay around here? I'm sure you looked.'

'Perfect.'

'I'll get unpacked.'

'Did it,' I said. 'Why don't you run a bath? I'll put your stuff away, then join you.'

'That's sweet of you, thanks.' She looked at the dog. 'See, he really is a nice guy, our Dr. D. How 'bout you- you like baths, too?'

'As a matter of fact, he hates the water. Won't even get near it. So it's just you and me, kid.'

'How Machiavellian of you- where does he sleep?'

'Last night he slept in the bed. Tonight he moves back into the kitchen.'

She pouted.

I shook my head. 'Uh-uh, no way.'

'Oh, c'mon, Alex. It's just temporary.'

'Do you want those eyes watching us?'

'Watching us do what?'

'The crossword puzzle.'

'He'll be lonely out there, Alex.'

'All of a sudden we're into voyeurism?'

'I'm sure he's a gentleman. And as you so unkindly pointed out, he has no…'

'Balls or no balls, he's a nudist, Robin. And he's got the hots for you. The kitchen.'

She tried a bigger pout.