Bad Love

'I did.'

'Destroying's Satan's work,' said Tiffani, spreading her arms and rotating them in wide circles.

I said, 'Did you hear that in church?'

She didn't seem to hear. Punched the air. 'He laid down with Satan.'

'Who?'

'Wallace.'

Chondra's mouth dropped open. 'Stop,' she said, very softly.

Tiffani came over and dropped her arm over her sister's shoulder. 'It's okay. He's not our dad anymore, remember? Satan turned him into a bad spirit and he got all his sins wrapped up like one. Like a big burrito.'

Chondra turned away from her.

'Come on,' said Tiffani, rubbing her sister's back. 'Don't worry.'

'Wrapped up?' I said.

'Like one,' she explained to me. 'The Lord counts up all your good deeds and your sins and wraps them up. So when you die, He can look right away and know if you go up or down. He's going down. When he gets there, the angels'll look at the package and know all he done. And then he'll burn.'

She shrugged. 'That's the truth.'

Chondra's eyes pooled with tears. She tried to remove Tiffani's arm from her shoulder, but the younger girl held fast.

'It's okay,' said Tiffani. 'You got to talk about the truth.'

'Stop,' said Chondra.

'It's okay,' Tiffani insisted. 'You got to talk to him.' She looked at me. 'So he'll write a good book for the judge and he'll never get out.'

Chondra looked at me.

I said, 'Actually, what I write won't change how much time he spends in jail.'

'Maybe,' insisted Tiffani. 'If your book tells the judge how evil he is, then maybe he could put him in longer.'

'Was he ever evil to you?'

No answer.

Chondra shook her head.

Tiffani said, 'He hit us.'

'A lot?'

'Sometimes.'

'With his hand or something else?'

'His hand.'

'Never a stick or a belt or something else?'

Another headshake from Chondra. Tiffani's was slower, reluctant.

'Not a lot, but sometimes,' I said.

'When we were bad.'

'Bad?'

'Making a mess- going near his bike- he hit Mom more. Right?' Prodding Chondra. 'He did.'

Chondra gave a tiny nod, grabbed the crayon, and started peeling again. Tiffani watched but didn't stop her.

'That's why we left him,' she said. 'He hit her all the time. And then he came after her with lust and sin in his heart and killed her- tell the judge that, you're rich, he'll listen to you!'

Chondra began crying. Tiffani patted her and said, 'It's okay, we got to.'

I got a tissue box. Tiffani took it from me and wiped her sister's eyes. Chondra pressed the crayon to her lips.

'Don't eat it,' said Tiffani. 'It's poison.'

Chondra let go and the crayon flew out of her hand and landed on the floor. Tiffani retrieved it and placed it neatly alongside the box.

Chondra was licking her lips. Her eyes were closed and one soft hand was fisted.

'Actually,' I said, 'it's not poisonous, just wax with color in it. But it probably doesn't taste too good.'

Chondra opened her eyes. I smiled and she tried to smile, producing only a small rise in one corner of her mouth.

Tiffani said, 'Well, it's not food.'

'No, it isn't.'

She paced some more. Boxed and muttered.

I said, 'Let me go over what I told you last week. You're here because your father wants you to visit him in jail. My job is to find out how you feel about that, so I can tell the judge.'

'Why doesn't the judge ask us?'

'He will,' I said. 'He'll be talking to you, but first he wants me to-'

'Why?'

'Because that's my job- talking to kids about their feelings. Finding out how they really-'

'We don't want to see him,' said Tiffani. 'He's an insument of Satan.'

'An-'

'An insument! He laid all down with Satan and became a sinful spirit. When he dies, he's going to burn in hell, that's for sure.'

Chondra's hands flew to her face.

'Stop!' said Tiffani. She rushed over to her sister, but before she got there, Chondra stood and let out a single, deep sob. Then she ran for the door, swinging it open so hard it almost threw her off balance.

She caught it, then she was out.

Tiffani watched her go, looking tiny and helpless.

'You got to tell the truth,' she said.

I said, 'Absolutely. But sometimes it's hard.'

She nodded. Now her eyes were wet.

She paced some more.

I said, 'Your sister's older but it looks like you take care of her.'

She stopped, faced me, gave a defiant stare, but seemed comforted.

'You take good care of her,' I said.

Shrug.

'That must get hard sometimes.'

Her eyes flickered. She put her hands on her hips and jutted her chin.

'It's okay,' she said.

I smiled.

'She's my sister.' She stood there, knocking her hands against her legs.

I patted her shoulder.

She sniffed, then walked away.

'You got to tell the truth,' she said.

'Yes, you do.'

Punch, jab. 'Pow poom… I wanna go home.'

• • •

Chondra was already with Evelyn, sharing the front seat of the thirty-year-old, plum-colored Chevy. The car had nearly bald blackwalls and a broken antenna. The paint job was homemade, the color nothing GM had ever conceived. One edge of the car's rear bumper had been broken and it nearly scraped the ground.

I got to the driver's window as Tiffani made her way down the steps from the landing. Evelyn Rodriguez didn't look up. A cigarette drooped from her lips. A hardpack of Winstons sat on the dashboard. The driver's half of the windshield was coated with greasy fog. Her fingers were busy tying a lanyard keychain. The rest of her was inert.