He didn't seem to notice.
Stood, himself.
Unsteadily, but managing to remain upright. Stronger than he'd appeared out in the hallway, in Heidi's grasp.
Still staring. Hot stare. Hands curling slowly into fists.
Straightening his spine.
Stepping toward me.
Okay, you ve done it, Delaware. Success!
He moved another step closer. I braced myself, plotted my defense. How much damage could he do, unarmed, so thin, so feeble?
Another step. His arms reached out, inviting embrace.
I retreated toward the door.
His mouth opened, contorted-no tongue-thrusts, just the excruciating labor of the lipless orifice struggling to change form, fighting to talk or scream… working so hard, working working-
Suddenly, a shrill, dry sound escaped. Soft, wispy, echoing- soft, but it pounded my ears-
His arms began to climb again, very slowly. When they were parallel with his shoulders, they flapped. Birdlike. Not a bird of prey, something thin, deliberate, delicate-a crane.
Without warning, he turned his back on me and hobbled- still flapping, miming flight-to the far corner of the room.
Pressing his back to the wall, keeping the arms stretched. Head tilted to the right.
Above him, the metal restraint hooks embedded in the wall hovered like warnings.
Eyes still open-wide open-stretched open; I could see wet pink borders all around. Wet eyes. Tears welling, overflowing, streaming down sunken cheeks.
His left leg crossed over its mate so that he was standing on one leg.
More avian posturing-no, no, something else-Posing.
Unmistakable pose.
His body had formed a cross.
Crucifixion on an unseen scaffold.
Tears flooded his face. Uncontrollable, silent sobs, brutally paroxysmic, each gush seizing ownership of his fragile body and shaking it like a wet kitten.
Weeping Jesus.
Chapter 29
He stayed that way, just stayed that way.
How long had I been in there? Surely Dollard, hostile and impatient, would be returning soon and ordering me out.
Five minutes later, it hadn't happened.
Peake remained against the wall. The tears had slowed, but they hadn't stopped.
The stink had returned. My skin itched. Senses returning, heightening. I wanted out.
Knocking on the brown steel door produced only a feeble thump. Could it be heard out in the hall? No sounds from the outside made their way inside the cell. I tried the hatch. Locked. Released only from the outside. The door hatch opened from the outside. Sensory deprivation. What did that do to already damaged minds?
Another knock, louder. Nothing.
Peake stayed frozen in the cruciform pose, pinioned by invisible spikes.
The names of his victims had loosened his tears. Remorse or self-pity?
Or something I could never hope to understand?
I thought of him entering the Ardullo kitchen, spotting his mother, the strength it had taken to saw through the cervical spine…Upstairs, swinging Scott Ardullo's baseball bat.
The children…
Their names had triggered the Jesus pose.
Martyr pose.
No remorse at all?
Seeing himself as a victim!
Suddenly, the absurdity and futility of what I was doing hit me-trying to pry information from a diseased mind that smoothly morphed sin and salvation. What use could this be to anyone?
Had Claire prodded Peake the same way? Died, somehow, because of her curiosity?
The narrow room started to close in on me. I was up against the door, couldn't get far enough away from the white, dangling creature.
Just a trickle of tears, now.
Crying for himself.
Monster.
Serene in his suffering.
His head rotated very slowly. Lifted a bit. Faced me. Something surfaced in his eyes that I hadn't seen before.
Sharpness. Clarity of purpose.
He nodded. Knowingly. As if the two of us shared something.
I pressed my back against the door.
The space opened behind me and I tumbled back.
Heidi said, 'Sorry! I should've opened the hatch and warned you, first.'
I regained my balance, took a breath, smiled, tried to look composed. Milo watched me, along with Dollard and the trio of doctors-Aldrich, Steenburg, and Swenson. All in sport shirts, as if they'd just gotten in from the golf course. Nothing playful on their faces.
Heidi started to close the door, looked into the room, went pale. 'What's he doing? What's going on?'
The others rushed over and stared. Peake had returned to the full Jesus pose, head cocked to the right. But no tears.
I said, 'He got up a few minutes ago, positioned himself that way.'
Aldrich said, 'My, my… Has he done this before, Heidi?'
'No. Never. He never gets off the bed.' She sounded scared. 'Dr. Delaware, you're saying he actually moved on his own?'
'Yes.'
Steenburg and Swenson looked at each other. Aldrich said, 'Interesting.' The gravity of his tone bordered on comical. Trying to assume authority on a case he knew nothing about.
Frank Dollard said, 'What'd you say to him to get him that way?'
'Nothing,' I said.
'You didn't talk to him?'
Milo said, 'What's the big deal? He used to think he was a vegetable, now he's evolved into Jesus.'
Dollard and doctors glared at him.
'Psychosis is a disease,' said Aldrich. 'It's unseemly to ridicule.'
'Sorry,' said Milo.
Swenson said, 'Has he ever talked about religious themes, Heidi?'
'No. That's what I'm trying to tell you. He doesn't talk much, period.'
Swenson turned contemplative, laced his hands over his belt buckle. 'I see… So it's something altogether new.'
Dollard jutted his head in my direction. 'You'd better tell us what you were talking to him about. We need to know, in case he starts acting out.'
Aldrich said, 'Is there some problem, Frank?'
