Hers too. The slyness dropped off her face, replaced by… a queasy smile.
She stared at me, and her head froze above the black-haired girl’s writhing hips. I thought I saw her give the faintest headshake – denying something?
The music oozed on. The black-haired girl kept gyrating, started to realize something was off. Made a grab for Lauren’s head.
Lauren didn’t budge.
Then she did.
As she allowed herself to be dragged down, I escaped.
CHAPTER 3
I DROVE HOME nearly blind with shame, cutting through dark, cold streets as if nothing mattered.
The closest I’ve come to having children are the people who’ve depended on me. Encountering Lauren had given me a glimpse of what the parents of whores and felons go through.
The look in her eyes when she’d recognized me – stripper’s flaunt degrading to… imbalance. The uncertainty she’d never shown as a teenager.
Now she was twenty-one. Legal. That made me laugh out loud.
Why the hell had I gone to Harnsberger’s party in the first place? Why hadn’t I left when the tone of the evening became clear?
Because, as in most men, something in me craved fresh erotic imagery.
Robin was waiting up for me, but that night I was very poor company.
I slept terribly, woke the next morning wondering what, if anything, I should do about the encounter. At eight o’clock I called my service, and the operator informed me Lauren had phoned at midnight and asked for an appointment.
“She sounded urgent,” said the operator. “I knew about that cancellation at two, so I gave it to her. Hope that was okay, Dr. Delaware.”
“Sure,” I said, sick with dread. “Thanks.”
“We’re here to serve, Doctor.”
At two P.M. precisely the bell on the side door rang and my heart jumped.
Patients who’ve never been to my house usually remain down at the gate. The bell ring meant Lauren had unlatched the gate, mastered the route across the front drive and through the garden. No warning dog bark; Robin had gone up to Carpinteria on a wood-buying trip, left at daybreak, taking Spike with her.
I put down the coffee I hadn’t touched, hurried through the house, opened the door.
New face on the other side.
Fresh, scrubbed, expressionless, clipped snowy hair stripped of product, brushed forward, falling in a soft Caesar cut.
No makeup at all. The same blue eyes – tougher, tempered. An untested face, except for the eyes.
At twenty-one Lauren looked younger than she had at fifteen.
A bleached-denim shirt and easy-fit jeans covered her from neck to ankle. The shirt was buttoned to the top and cinched with a turquoise clasp. The jeans managed to hug her frame, advertise the tight waist, soft hips. On her feet were white canvas flats with straw soles. A big calfskin bag hung over one shoulder – rich, burnished roan, gold-clasped, conspicuously expensive.
“Hello, Lauren.”
Gazing past me she offered her hand. Her palm was cold and dry. I didn’t feel like smiling, but when her eyes finally met mine, I managed.
She didn’t. “You work at home now. Cute place.”
“Thanks. Come on in.”
I stayed just ahead of her during the walk to my office. She moved fast – as eager to enter as she’d once been to leave.
“Very nice,” she said when we got there. “Still seeing kids and teens?”
“I don’t do much therapy anymore.”
She froze in the doorway. “Your answering service didn’t say that.”
“I’m still in practice, but most of my work is consultation,” I said. “Court cases, some police work. I’m always available to former patients.”
“Police work,” she said. “Yes. I saw your name in the paper. That school-yard shooting. So now you’re a public hero.”
Still looking past me. Through me.
“Come on in,” I said.
“That’s the same,” she said, eyeing my old leather couch.
“Kind of an antique,” I said.
“You’re not – you really haven’t changed that much.”
I moved behind the desk.
“I’ve changed,” she said.
“You’ve grown up,” I said.
“Have I?” She sat stiffly, made a move for the calfskin bag, stopped herself, started to smile, quashed that too. “Still no smoking?”
“Sorry, no.”
“Filthy habit,” she said. “Inherited it from Mom. She had a scare a few years back – spot on her X ray, but it turned out to be a shadow – stupid doctor. So she finally stopped. You’d think it would teach me. People are weak. You know that. You make a living off that.”
“People are fallible,” I said.
One of her legs began to bounce. “Back when I came to you, I gave you a real hard time, didn’t I?”
I smiled. “Nothing I hadn’t seen before.”
“It probably didn’t seem like it, but I was actually getting into the idea of therapy. I’d psyched myself up for it. Then they killed it.”
“Your parents?”
The surprise in my voice made her flush. “They didn’t tell you.” Her smile was cold. “They claimed they did, but I always wondered.”
“All I got was a cancellation call,” I said. “No explanation. I phoned your house several times, but no one answered.”
“Bastard,” she said with sudden savagery. “Asshole.”
“Your father?”
“Lying asshole. He promised he’d explain everything to you. It was his decision – He never stopped complaining about the money. The day I was supposed to see you, he picked me up from school. I thought he was making sure I showed up on time – I thought you’d lied to me and finked to him about my coming late. I was furious at you. But instead of heading to your office, he drove the other way – into the Valley. Over to this miniature golf course – this Family Fun Center. Arcades, batting cages, all that junk. He parks, turns off the engine, says to me: ‘You need quality time with your dad, not hundred-buck-an-hour baby-sitting with some quack.’”
She bit her lip. “Doesn’t that sound a little… like he was jealous of you?”
As I mulled my answer she said, “Seductive, don’t you think?”
I continued to deliberate. Took the leap. “Lauren, was there ever any-”
“No,” she said. “Never, nothing like that, he never laid a finger on me. Not for anything creepy or for normal affection. The fact is, I can’t remember him
