Obsession

seven.

Hudson Avenue, Hancock Park. Two years, seven until around nine or so.

Fourth Street, the Wilshire district. One year, nine to ten.

Culver Boulevard, Culver City. Two years, ten until twelve, then we bought the duplex.

Constructing the timeline using her age. Playing adult but clinging to the self-centered world view of an adolescent.

I said, “Maybe whatever happened was relatively recent.”

Pretending to be a believer.

“At Canfield? No, it’s been peaceful there. And I was older when we moved, would know if something happened in the neighborhood. By the way, I relinquish all confidentiality so feel free to tell Detective Sturgis anything you want. Here, I’ve put it in writing.”

Out of the purse came another razor-creased paper. Handwritten release note, composed in the stilted wording of amateur legalese. Then a check, made out to the discounted fee I’d billed her mother ten years ago. Twenty percent of what I got nowadays.

“Is that okay?”

“Absolutely.”

She headed for the door. “Thank you, Dr. Delaware.”

“Did your mother ever talk about any malpractice cases at the hospital?”

“No. Why?”

“The E.R.’s a high-risk unit. What if a patient she was involved with died and she felt responsible?”

“No way she’d ever mess someone up fatally, Dr. Delaware. She knew more than some of the doctors.”

“Lawsuits don’t always depend upon truth,” I said. “In a hospital situation, lawyers sometimes go after anyone who blinked at the patient.”

She leaned against the door. “Malpractice. Oh, my God, why didn’t I think of that? There could be some huge lawsuit pending and she was worried someone would go after my trust fund. Or the duplex. She wanted to tell me more but ran out of steam-you’re brilliant, Dr. Delaware!”

“It’s just a suggestion-”

“But a great one. Scientific parsimony, right? Go for the simplest explanation. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it.”

“You’ve had a lot on your mind. I’ll call Dr. Silverman right now.”

I reached the E.R. Rick was in surgery. “He’ll call back. If there’s something to tell you, I promise to let you know right away.”

“Thank you so much, Dr. Delaware-no offense but can we be sure Dr. Silverman will be up front? Maybe his lawyers have told him not to discuss-okay, sorry, that’s stupid, I’m being paranoid.”

“Still want me to talk to Detective Sturgis?”

“Only if Dr. Silverman says there was no malpractice issue for Mommy, but something tells me you’ve figured it out. She always said you were brilliant.”

Ten years ago my treatment of her had been anything but. I smiled and walked her out.

When we reached her van, I said, “Once we resolve this, would you consider a couple more sessions?”

“To accomplish what?”

“I’d like to know more about your living circumstances and who you have for support.”

“My living circumstances haven’t changed. The duplex is all paid off, and the downstairs tenants are a really nice young family, the Friedmans. Their rent covers expenses plus extras. They’re in Israel for Dr. Friedman’s sabbatical but they advanced me a year’s worth and are planning to come back. Mommy’s insurance and investments will take care of me until I finish at the U. If I end up at a private med school, I may have to take out some loans. But physicians do fine, I’ll pay them off. My friends at school give me support, there’s a group of us, all premed, they’re very cool and understanding.”

“Sounds good,” I said, “but I’d still feel better if you were open to coming back.”

“I will be, I promise, Dr. Delaware. Just as soon as my exams are over.” She smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m not having any of my old problems. I appreciate your caring. Mommy always said for you it was more than a job. She told me I should observe you, learn what caring for patients meant.”

“How old were you when she told you that?”

“That was…right before the second time I saw you, we’d just moved to Culver, so…ten.”

“At ten, you knew you wanted to be a physician?”

“I’ve always wanted to be a physician.”

As we descended the stairs, she said, “Do you believe in the Hereafter?”

“It’s a comforting concept.”

“Meaning you don’t?”

“Depends on what day you catch me.” Images of my parents flashed in my head. Dad, red-nosed, in boozer’s heaven. Were there celestial procedures in place for unpredictable behavior?

Maybe Mom could finally be happy, nestled in some heavenly duplicate bridge club.

“Well,” she said, “that’s honest. I guess it’s the same for me. Mostly I think in terms of scientific logic, show me the data. But lately I find myself believing in the spirit world, because I sense her with me. It’s not constant, just sometimes, when I’m alone. I’ll be doing something and feel her. It could be just my emotional need but the day it stops may be when I show up for some real therapy.”

CHAPTER 5

Rick said, “No, nothing like that, current or past. In fact, we’re having a nice quiet spell, shyster-wise. And when the vultures swoop, they avoid the nurses. No financial incentive.”

“Did Patty moonlight?”

“Not since she’s worked for me. When she wanted extra money, she double-shifted.”

“Where did she work before she came to Cedars?”

“Kaiser Sunset, but only for a year. Scratch the malpractice angle, Alex.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“How’s Tanya doing?”

“As well as can be expected.”

“Good. Gotta run. Thanks for seeing her.”

Straight to the point. Surgical. Just like his original referral.

“I know you’re not doing much therapy, Alex, but this sounds more like a consultation.”

“Who’s the consultee?”

“Best nurse I ever worked with, a woman named Patty Bigelow. A few years ago her sister dumped a kid on her, then left for parts unknown. Sister died in a motorcycle accident and Patty adopted the girl, who’s now seven. She’s got some parenting questions. Can you see her?”

“Sure.”

“I appreciate it…”

“Anything else I should know?”

“About what?” he said.

“Patty, the girl.”

“I’ve only seen the girl in passing. Cute little thing. Patty’s super-organized. Maybe a little too much for a kid.”

“A perfectionist.”

“You could say that. She fits in great in my E.R. It was hard for her to admit having a problem. I don’t know why she chose me to tell.”