fora while, k get it out of my mind. The whole experience was so
clear to me, as though it had only happened days ago. And it was
strange, because I could remember want/ngto get caught in there. That
was why the flashlight was on. I'd had it trained right on the window,
for no good reason at all except that I must have known somebody would
see it and wonder. I'd wanted somebody to know. I think I was even
aware of it at the time, without understanding why I'd want to risk
that, why I felt that way.
I thought I knew now what the fantasy was about. It was a kind of
declaration to myself as to where things stood with me. The reserve.
The need for emotional safety. Yet as early as six years ago, I'd
broken into a stranger's house and thrown a flashlight beam on the
living room window. Even that far back I must have known what my
little reserve was worth.
We were quiet going back to Dead River. I didn't take her home. Even
at four in the morning it would be quite a scene there. A rock through
a neighbor's window would be nearly impossible to forgive. And Casey
wouldn't want forgiveness anyway.
We went to my apartment instead.
We climbed the stairs yawning. And Casey turned back to me and
murmured, 'Sounds like fun.'
'What does?'
I knew what she meant. It made me cold inside. But I went through the
motions anyway.
'Breaking and entering.'
I said nothing. I opened the door for her. She stepped inside and
faced me. The smile was sleepy but the eyes were filled with broken
light. I didn't even bother to argue the point. I knew where it would
lead us. It was where we'd been going, anyway, all along.
'I want to do it.'
The tendrils of fog had followed us from the graveyard. They slid
around my throat again like soft wet claws, caressing me, turning my
spit to acid.
'And I know just the place for it too. The perfect place.'
'You do?'
She looked at me. For the first time, her smile mocked me a little.
'Don't you?'
'Look, it has to be the Crouch place.'
'Why?'
'Because it does.'
The hamburgers at Harmon's were lousy. The refrigerated, prepackaged
kind you stick in a microwave. But we ate them. Casey looked terrific
in a tiny blue halter and cream-colored shorts. The makeup was subtle
and carefully done. To me it was obvious there was seduction going
on.
'Because the Crouch place is isolated, dummy. I have no intention of
getting caught like our cat burglar over here.' She nodded at me and
Kim smiled.
'Nobody's going to come by. Nobody's going to see us go in or come out
again, and nobody's going to pay any unexpected calls. It's
perfect.'
'She's right,' said Steve. 'It's the safest place around. But I
dunno, Case. Where's the big thrill?'
'It'll be worth it. You'll see.'
'Got something planned?' Kim wiped at a crumb of burger bun at the
corner of her mouth.
'I might.'
'So tell us.'
'And make it good, please,' said Steve. 'Because I really don't see
this so far. I mean, what's the big deal about walking into an empty
house at night, looking around and leaving? It's kids' stuff. It
would make more sense to do it someplace in town. If we can't get
caught, Where's the risk? What's the point?'
'There's no risk. But I can still make it fun. It's kids' stuff, all
right. But use your imaginations. You'll see.'
'See what?'
'Will you tell us for chrissake?'
'Come on, Case,' I said. 'Let's have it. Skip the buildup.'
She looked at me and grinned. I wasn't a conspirator, but I felt like
one. Whatever her idea was we hadn't discussed it. She knew damn well
I wasn't happy with the thing. I'd go along. She didn't have to sell
me like she did the other two. But I wasn't happy.
She was, though.
She'd found a way to shoo the boredom again.
'Hide and seek,' she said.
Kim's mouth made a big scowly streak across her face. 'What?'
Steve looked at her the way an adult will look at an annoying child. I
just sat there, thinking about it.
'Hide and seek. Just the way we used to play it when we were kids. But
we play it in the Crouch place.'
You could feel it dawning on them. It was a dumb idea, all right, but
it had possibilities, ambiguities. Personally I'd rather have been in
Sheboygan.
'I get it. The place is supposed to be haunted or something, right?'
Steve's index finger darted at her like the tongue of a snake.
'Right. So we play with that a little, see? No flashlights allowed.
A strange house. At night. Alone. A place we don't know and have
never been in before.'
Kimberley nodded. 'The vague possibility of a cop coming along.'
'Very vague,' I told her. I hoped I was right.
'But still there,' said Casey.
'And us with the lights off, trying to find one another in the dark in
