Descent into the Depths of the Earth

Royal pleasure demonstratedthough means of treasury assets.”

The sergeant scratched his head, giving a confused look at the little faerie girl. “You mean is there a reward?”

“Yes! If you want to get all uncouth about it!”

“Well, Ma’am, that is, Miss, I believe the reward stands atten thousand gold pieces.”

“Ten!” Goggling, Escalla waved her hands, almost lost for words, then cameracing up to shake the sergeant by the hand. “Kick back, man! Relax! We’ll dealwith it!” The faerie halted suddenly. “Does this king of yours have a name?”

“Umm…”

“Great! Tell King Um that Escalla’s on the job!” The girlturned a back flip, ending up beside Polk, who was sneaking yet another drink from his faerie bottle. “Polk, let’s get busy! Time to show these guys thattheir worries are at an end!”

Always happy to see activity, Polk corked his magic bottle. The man had apparently been sneaking more than just a wee drink or two to sustain him on the march. He wiped his mouth and gave a happy, addled cry.

“That’s great! Well, come on. Time’s a-wastin!” The littleman picked up his feet. “Lezz go!”

Jus wearily uncoiled the magic rope from his belt-ashortened, somewhat scorched souvenir from a battle with an erinyes-and whippedit out to entangle Polk. The Justicar hauled Polk in like a flapping fish, took one sniff at him and gave a huge, threatening growl.

“You’re drunk!”

“Never, son!” Polk seemed far happier than any man on amurder investigation had a right to be. “It’s just high spirits! Glad we’re onthe job!”

Jus growled. There were too many things to occupy him. Looking at the stone circle, the ranger called, “Escalla! Just tell me how we’resupposed to trigger these damned gates! Is there a spell to tell us what the keys might be?”

“Sure there is!”

“So throw the spell.”

“I can’t. I don’t know it.” Escalla waved innocently. “Likewe use it every day! Come on, man, we’re going into battle! I just tanked myselfup with shields and fireballs!”

Jus pried the ever-full liquor bottle away from the complaining Polk and asked, “So how do we find the key?”

“Hey, J-man!” The girl circled, taking possession of theever-full bottle. “You’ve got to think practically! The trick with these gatesis that sometimes you might get here and not be carrying the right key, so you always hide a few spare keys somewhere you can reach ’em. Our murderer came hereabout an hour or two ago, so just look for any place real close that looks like a hiding place!”

Escalla searched the column tops and the crowns of a few nearby trees. The sergeant, Private Henry, and their unnamed companions spread out with lanterns to look beneath toadstools and stones. Jus dragged Polk along by the scruff of his neck as he set about searching for anything out of place. The pure white of his light-stone showed his face grim and seething.

Polk struggled, and the Justicar snarled in dark, dire anger, “Polk, don’t you ever, ever get drunk on the job again!”

“But son, I’m making your chronicles! It’s to help mycreative flow!” Polk waved his hands. “It was the kelp, wasn’t it? All right, Ican change to beer when we’re actually on the job!”

“Polk, you get the bottle back at rest stops. One cup atlunch, one cup at night, and nothing more!”

The hapless teamster wailed like a child deprived of his only toy, but Jus dragged him on.

Ten minutes of fruitless searching yielded no surprises except one edible truffle and a family of voles. Annoyed and still battling with Polk, the Justicar yelled up to Escalla as she flew amongst the monoliths, “Escalla, did you find anything?”

“No.” The girl seemed miffed. “I looked in all the goodplaces! It’s always somewhere close! I mean, what if you were in a hurry?”

“You’re supposed to be an expert!”

The faerie lost her temper. “I am an expert! Youpeople think you can do a better job, then just fly up here and do it yourself!”

Losing patience, Jus stood and bellowed, “Just tell us whatthe damned key’s likely to be!”

“It could be anything!” Equally annoyed, Escalla flewbackward as she spoke. “It could be a herb, a fruit, a rock, a flower, diamonds,silver, a flute, a dead rat… For all we know, it could be the golden hairsfrom a virgins-!”

Escalla passed through the arch above the tracks, and suddenly magic flashed in a sharp, white light that lit the entire hilltop. For a split second, Jus saw a look of astonished embarrassment on Escalla’s face-andthen the girl was gone. The gateway still shimmered with magic.

With only seconds to act, Jus picked up Polk, ran toward the gate, and bellowed over his shoulder, “Sergeant, thank you! We’ll be back!”

Jus leaped through the gate, Cinders swirling about his back. There was a flash, then Jus landed on dry soil that stank of sulphur. Cinders made an appreciative noise, sucking in the stink of smoke and flame. The night sky above was lined by the vicious teeth of a mountain range, teeth back-lit by hellish volcanic flames. A natural archway of rock formed the magic door behind them. Polk sat blearily looking at the volcanoes. Leaping about like a mad locust doing an interpretive dance, Escalla clutched at her groin and pranced about in pain.

“Damn it! Assa frassa fragin dammit!” The girl made amad little dance in the dark. “Holy Hanali, that stings!”

Jus rose, disoriented by his passage through the gate. “Whatstings?”

“Mind your own business! Ow! Ow! Oooow!”

Jus poised himself to investigate further, when suddenly there came a flash, and fresh light flooded through the gate.

Private Henry sat up in the dust, blinking in fright. The young soldier sat up, then yelped as Jus hauled him to his feet with one mighty heave of his hand.

Too late. The gate snapped shut, its eerie light cutting off to leave the archway dead and dim. Jus planted himself before the young soldier and roared, “What are you doing here?”

“Sir! Um, well, sir…” Terrified, the boy looked up at thevast, grim figure looming over him. He helpfully offered his lantern “I… Ibrought a light, sir!”

“That’s wonderful.” The Justicar turned to the faerie. “Allright, Escalla. Send him back.”

“No.”

Jus turned to look in astonishment at the faerie, who hovered unhappily nearby.

“Jus, I can’t.” She looked embarrassed, pained, andevasive all at once. “I haven’t got any key material left! The gate took itall!”

“The gate took it all?”

Jus blinked, recoiled, and for two heartbeats his countenance froze. Then his whole face lit into a smile. The big man suddenly folded forward and bit his fist. Huge shoulders shook, then a laugh escaped him to shake and shatter the night. He laughed for the first time in public memory, laughing all the harder once he saw Escalla’s face. The Justicar laughed so hard he cried.

Escalla stood flapping her mouth in indignation, then turned away, her ears flaming bright. “Oh right! Sure, sure. Now it’s funny!What happens when we need to go back?”

Cinders snickered like a mad thing, his tail whirling madly round and around. Funny!

Jus was having trouble breathing. One look at Escalla set him off laughing again. “A white wedding dress…!”

The girl swelled up in righteous anger. “All right! Yes, Iadmit it! I qualify. I qualify for a white wedding dress! Right! There! Are we all happy now?”

Jus almost choked. “No one touches the faerie!”

Escalla seethed, folded her arms across her breasts, and turned away. “Oh, go bite a purple worm’s butt!”