White Plume Mountain

“And justice-that comes from balance, from righting thewrongs, from someone being right there in place to keep on fighting for the little man!”

Leaning his sword across his knees, the Justicar propped his stubbled chin inside his hand and said, “What have you done?”

The girl bit her lip and jiggled her head from side to side. “Well, you remember that gem I liberated from the dungeon shelves as we wereleaving?”

“The gem you stole.”

“Stole?” Blinking in innocence, Escalla placed a hand againsther heart. “I never steal! All I did was reallocate its ownership!” The girltwiddled her fingertips. “Anyway, it was a ruby, just a useless pretty rock. ButI’ve exchanged it for something of real value, something just forCinders, you, and me!”

The Justicar watched Escalla from the corner of his eye. “Exchanged? Exchanged it for what?”

“Property!” The faerie instantly spread out her papers, maps,and deeds. “I bought us a tower near a village, and a temple with an undergroundmonster storage facility! All user unoccupied. Real renovator’s delights!”

“What? ‘Underground monster storage facility’?” The Justicarreached out to snatch a handful of plans. “What’s the name of this damnedvillage, anyhow?”

“Name?” Escalla fluttered her eyelashes and fanned her wings,pretending not to care. “Oh, Gimlet. Hogwart. Hommlet-something like that…”

“Hommlet…?” The man rose to his feet, utterly appalled.“You bought Hommlet!”

Escalla grumbled, looking surly and annoyed.

“I knew you’d react like that! Look, I am aware thatthe place once had a reputation!” The faerie fussed about with her deedsand plans. “But hey, that was ten years ago! The temples prime property now! Thedungeon there was all cleaned out. We can turn it into a games room or a tavern or something!”

“The place is going to be brimming full of monsters!” TheJusticar paced the room, Cinders’ tail wagging at his back. “Undergroundmonster storage facility indeed!”

Sounds fun!

“You keep out of this!”

Wriggling closer to Jus, Escalla slowly crept her way across the sheets.

“Just think-a biiiiig empty dungeon. Bandits are sureto use it as a hideout unless we clean it out!” The faerie sidled up and leanedagainst Jus’ side. “Think about the village! All those poor innocent people inthe grip of evil, just wondering when their Justicar will come.”

“Shut up!”

Escalla clasped her hands and fluttered her lashes in dismay.

“Oh when? When will our Justicar arrive? Surely justice willone day seek out all our oppressors.”

“Oh, all right!” Annoyed with himself, Jus fetched himselfanother beer. “We’ll go. But if there are no bandits there…”

“There will be! Ooodles of them-you’ll see!”

The girl gave a piercing whistle. In seconds flat, her hired help had cleared away the tent. Jus rescued two bottles of wine, tossing one to Escalla as the camp furniture disappeared into a series of leather trunks. Escalla dove behind a bush and came out in her old leathers, dragging a net full of healing potions in her wake.

“You ready? Because we can make it to the first coaching innthis evening! I hear they do a great roast hogfish in pickleberry sauce!”

Startled, the Justicar watched the luxurious camp being readied for transport. “You’re taking all this stuff with you?”

“Hey, we did it your way last time. This time I say we travelin style!” The girl spread out her lithe little arms. “I’ve had enoughsleeping in bracken to last a thousand years!”

“How were you planning on moving it all?”

“I’ve hired transport! A specialist!” Escalla stood back andclapped her hands. “Come on, big nose! Move it! We’re leaving!”

Polk came around the corner of the citadel, mounted on a big red wagon. Dressed in bright new clothes, the man waved happily to the Justicar.

“Son! You look good, son. Dragon hide-now that’s the wayfor an adventurer to dress!”

Feeling strangely dizzy, Jus covered his face with his hands. “You hired Polk…”

Escalla slapped the teamster on the shoulders with a smile. “Hey man, he’s part of the team!”

Immensely proud, Polk puffed himself out like an exploding rooster. “Polk the teamster, transport to adventure!” The man pointed grandly atthe misspelled banner along the side of his cart. “Now come on, son! Hop on. Ihave some notes I want to go over with you. There’s some new dungeoneering ideasthat I’ve had.” The man cracked his whip and stirred his horses on as the lastboxes were loaded on his cart. “I still say we can put a polish on yourheroic technique. You can learn, son! You might not be a dead loss after all!”

Passers by on the streets all stopped to stare, for walking behind Polk’s cart came Enid the sphinx, nicely brushed and with a headdresscovering her hair. Scroll cases clattered and rattled about her back-riddlescopied down over the last few weeks from a dozen different bards. Escalla helped slide a last riddle scroll into place then landed on the sphinx’s back as shepaced along beside the Justicar.

Jus nodded to the sphinx. “Hey, Enid.”

“Hello.” The sphinx’s educated tones seemed a little nervous.“It should be fun, don’t you think? Escalla says travel broadens the mind!”

“Yeah.” The ranger gave a snort of disgust. “She just saysthat to explain why she keeps fleeing from lynch mobs.”

“Jus, go ride in the cart!” The faerie sat cross-legged onEnid’s rump as they marched out of the city. “We’ve got a long way to go. So whowants a riddle?”

Cinders flapped his ears. Me!

“Great!” The faerie lounged back on the sphinx’s rump as thecat-woman passed out of the city gates. “Try this one:

“I’m six foot two, and my cloak’s got fleas!

No sense of humor, and I start with ‘E’?”

The Justicar shot Escalla an evil glance. “You owe me onehalf hour of silence. Starting now!”

“All right, all right!” Escalla propped a mug of wine on herbelly and watched the clouds go by. “Silent, not a word. Golden, pristinequiet.”

From Polk’s cart, Jus turned and gave the girl a glare. “Yoursolemn word!”

“Sure. Solemn!” Escalla saluted with her drink. “See? This isme, silent. Aaaaabsolutely not a sound.”

Clamped upon his friend’s broad back, Cinders suddenly waggedhis tail. Evelyn! It’s Evelyn! The hell hound grinned. Good riddle!

Padding happily along beside the cart, Enid tilted her face in a frown. “Evelyn? What kind of answer is that?”

“Nothing.” Jus hurled a faerie cake at Escalla, hitting thegirl between the ears. “Nothing at all!”

The Justicar removed Cinders from his back, opened the creature’s mouth and stuffed in a big piece of coal. Cinders made a delightednoise like a child sucking on a lollipop. Quite content, the hell hound shot flames out of its nose and went into a daze of ecstasy.

Grumbling, Jus put Cinders back atop his helm. Shoving Polk’sscrolls aside, he heaved a sigh and lounged back to await the next new turning of the road.