fingers?'
I stared into Phin's eyes. His personal life was none of my business, but I really disliked drugs, especially those who used them and sold them. On the other hand, he saved my ass back at Joe's Pool Hall, and he also may have just given us our biggest break.
And, even though I was a professional who never let personal feelings influence me, I kind of liked the guy.
'Deal. I'll get it squared with the DA.'
'Can I get that in writing?'
'You have my word.'
He nodded, then handed over the notebook. The first entry was 'White Jeep, Ice Cream Truck, F912 556.'
'Herb, run these plates. This may be our guy.'
Benedict disappeared with the notebook. Phin stood up and put his hands in his pockets.
'I can go?'
'Yeah. Thanks.'
'Thank you. I heard you got shot. Leg okay?'
'I've got a spare.'
He grinned.
'You're a pretty tough chick. Maybe I'll see you around. We never got to finish that last game.'
'I'll check my social calendar.'
'I'll save a table for you.'
He turned and left.
I met up with Herb in his office. His expression told me everything I needed to know.
'Plates belong to a Chrysler Voyager. Reported stolen six months ago.'
I let out a deep breath. There wasn't any way to trace stolen plates. At most, we could put out an APB and hope someone picked him up.
'Did you run any of the others?'
'In the process. In the meantime, we should keep going with the dragnet. The perp may still be watching our guys.'
It was a long shot, but all we had for the time being.
'Agreed. I'm going to my office to tune in.'
The scanner on my desk let me follow the action. Short, staccato bursts of cop talk in between long stretches of static. Several other suspects were questioned, but none were brought in. After two hours of feeling like a spectator on my own case, I switched off the radio.
Depression settled on me like a heavy blanket.
'You hungry?' Herb popped in with a bag of BBQ pork rinds.
'No, thanks.' I had no appetite at all. Even the prospect of a home-cooked meal held no appeal for me. I should probably call and cancel my date with Latham.
'We'll catch him, Jack.'
'I don't want to spend the rest of my life obsessing about the one that got away.'
My friend sat across from me.
'Then don't obsess.'
'It's different with you, Herb.'
'How so? I want to catch the guy too.'
'But you have a life outside the force. This is all I have.'
Herb set the bag down. You knew Benedict was serious about something when he pushed away food.
'You're the total of all the choices you've made in your life, Jack. This is what you have because this is what you chose.'
I looked at him. 'I've spent more than twenty years working hard at being a cop. I don't have a social life. I ruined my marriage. All I can do is this job. But if I'm not good enough for this, then what the hell is the point of my life?'
I bit my lower lip, my eyes welling up. I hated being weak, and I hated self-pity, but Herb's words really hit home.
I was here because this was the life I chose.
But what if I'd made the wrong choice?
My partner put his hand on my shoulder. 'Jack, you're the best cop I know. If anyone can catch this guy, it's you.'
