“Real enough. But always for her, never for anyone else. In her world, there was no one else worth crying over.”
“Not even you.”
“Not even me.”
“A hard love, Max. Is that why you killed her?”
“I told you. I’m not certain I did.”
“What happened that night?”
“First you have to understand something. Lauren was always self-centered, and I’d come to expect that. But when she moved here and moved back into that awful place we’d lived as children, she began to change. I saw her becoming cruel. It wasn’t simply that she didn’t care about other people, she began to enjoy inflicting pain.”
“Physical?”
“I don’t know. Emotional pain, certainly. But because of what my mother was, I began to be afraid.”
“That night she called me at the Four Seasons, hysterical. I tried to calm her, but it was clear that she needed me. I left.”
“Without a word to anyone.”
“I thought a few minutes with her would be enough. Over the years, I’ve learned exactly what to say to her.”
“Did you know she’d been shot?”
“She said something about it, but she often lied to be certain I’d come when she needed me. When I got there, I saw that it wasn’t a lie. She’d bled, although she wasn’t bleeding anymore. She told me what happened, told me in a fury, told me she was going to kill the Stillday girl. She was a mess. Partly hysterical with tears, partly in a hysterical rage. She was waving a gun around. She kept a small firearm somewhere, but this wasn’t it. This one I’d never seen before. I had no idea where it came from. The gun scared me.”
Cavanaugh stopped talking. The entire sky had turned vermilion, and everything beneath it was cast in the same hue.
“I couldn’t get her to calm down,” Cavanaugh finally went on. “And I was angry, too. Angry at the disruption of my evening, angry at Lauren because, hell, she probably had gotten what she deserved, angry at a whole lifetime of bending to her selfish whims and putting up with her crazy, selfish behavior. It seemed to me in that moment that two crazy people were in the room, and I said that to her. God help me, I said, ‘We’re both better off dead.’”
Recalling it, Cavanaugh seemed stunned, and he fell silent.
“What did she do, Max?”
“Stopped her raving,” he said in a distant voice. “Walked to me. Walked to me with that gun in her hand. Pushed herself against my chest with the gun between us. Reached down and brought my hand up and put my finger over her finger on the trigger and whispered, ‘Do you want that, Max? Do you?’”
Cork waited, then pressed. “What happened?”
“The gun went off.” Cavanaugh turned his mystified eyes to Cork. “She looked up at me, and I couldn’t tell if it was surprise or relief I saw. And then she dropped at my feet. Just dropped. I went down to her. I called her name and she didn’t respond. There was blood all over her. I held her, but it was like holding a rag doll. I knew she was dead. I should have called someone, but instead I . . .”
By the end, Cavanaugh’s voice had dropped to a desperate whisper. To be certain that Dross on the other end of the phone had heard clearly, Cork said, “You killed her, Max?”
Cavanaugh shook his head with sudden fierceness. “I don’t know if I killed her. I don’t know if I pulled the trigger or she did, honest to God.”
“Then what happened, Max?”
“I went back and made excuses to the people at the Four Seasons and went home. I thought . . .” He hesitated, as if uncertain how to proceed. “I thought I would be free, but it didn’t feel that way at all. Does that make sense? If you’ve walked bound all your life and suddenly the ropes are gone, is that freedom? I didn’t quite know how to go on, Cork.”
“Why did you hire me to find her?”
“When no one reported her dead, Jesus, I thought maybe she wasn’t. Maybe she somehow pulled herself off that floor and went somewhere to recover and . . .”
“And what, Max?”
“And maybe she needed me.” His face held a look of bewilderment. “How sick is that? I realized that in some twisted way I needed her, too. And I realized one more thing, Cork, maybe the hardest lesson of all. Dead isn’t dead. The dead are always with us.”
“The second round of threatening notes, ‘We die. U die. Just like her.’ That was you, wasn’t it, Max?”
“After you found Lauren’s body, I got worried, afraid you might look my way. It was simply misdirection.” The tone of his voice indicated that to him it was a thing that hardly mattered now.
“Come back with me, Max. We can go to the sheriff, and you can explain.”
Cavanaugh gave his head a slight shake. “I never married, Cork. Never had children. Do you want to know why?”
“Because you had your hands full taking care of your sister?”
“Because I might have had a child like Lauren. Or worse, like my mother. It’s in my blood somewhere. But I’m the last of the Cavanaughs. When I’m gone, the blood curse is gone, too.”
“Come with me, Max.”
“You go on. I want to stay, keep company awhile with these rock walls. I feel comfortable here. You can tell the sheriff everything I told you. You will anyway, I suppose, and it’s all right with me.” He waited, and when Cork didn’t move, he said, more forcefully, “Go on, Cork. I want to be alone.”
“Max—”
“I can call a security person and have you escorted out.”
“No need. I’ll go.” But he didn’t, not right away. He said, “I’m sorry, Max.”
“For what?”
“Those ropes you talked about, I guess.”
Cavanaugh offered him a sad smile. “And I’d guess you have ropes of your own. Doesn’t everybody?”
Cork walked back to his Land Rover and got in. He looked back and watched Cavanaugh return to his Escalade.
He slid the phone from under his shirt. “You get all that, Marsha?”
“Loud and clear, Cork. I’m at the front gate now. I’ll pick him up when he comes out.”
Cork swung his vehicle around and started toward the incline that would take him along the switchbacks to the top. He figured he’d join Dross and together they would wait for Max Cavanaugh.
He hadn’t gone more than a hundred yards when he heard the explosion behind him, and the walls of the pit were lit as if by lightning, and he saw in the rearview mirror the Escalade consumed in an enormous blossom of red-orange flame.
FORTY-FIVE
He was home by midnight and in bed by one, but sleep stayed beyond his reach.
At three, he threw the covers back and went downstairs to check his e-mail, but there was nothing new from any of his children.
At four, he turned on the television in the living room and lay down on the sofa and surfed the channels, but nothing appealed.
