close reach. Someone who was most easily accessible. I think that you were molested as well.’
For the first time Patrik thought he saw a crack in Jan’s shiny, polished exterior, but the next second he once again had control, or at least so it seemed.
‘That’s an interesting theory. What do you base it on?’
‘Not much, I must admit. But I found a common link between the three of you. In your childhood. I saw a little leather patch in your office when I visited you. I assume it’s fairly important to you, isn’t it? It symbolizes something. A pact, a solidarity, a blood oath. You’ve saved it for over twenty-five years. Anders and Alex saved theirs as well. On the back of all of them there’s a smudged fingerprint in blood, and that’s why I think that you all swore a blood oath in the melodramatic way that children do. Then three letters were burned onto the front of the patch: T.T.M. I haven’t managed to decipher that. Perhaps you could help me out on that point?’
Patrik could see how two different forces were almost literally struggling within Jan. On one hand, common sense told him not to say anything at all; on the other hand, the desire to share a secret should not be underestimated, the urge to confide in someone. Patrik was confident in Jan’s ego and put his money on the fact that it would be irresistible for him to unburden his heart to someone who would listen with interest. He decided to try to facilitate Jan’s decision.
‘Everything we say here today will remain between us. I have neither the energy nor the resources to follow up on something that happened twenty-five years ago. And I hardly think I could find any proof if I tried. This is for me personally. I have to know.’
The temptation was too great for Jan.
‘“The Three Musketeers”, that’s what “T.T.M.” stands for. Silly and ridiculously romantic, but that was how we saw ourselves. It was us against the world. When we were together we could forget about what had happened to us. We never talked about it with each other, but we didn’t need to. We understood without words. We made a pact that we would always be loyal to each other. With a piece of broken glass we each made a cut in one finger and mixed our blood and then stamped the emblems with it.
‘I was the strongest of the three of us. I was forced to be the strongest. The others could at least feel safe at home, but I was always looking over my shoulder. At night, I lay with the covers pulled up to my chin and listened for the footsteps I knew were coming, first down the hall and then closer and closer.’
It was as if a dam had burst. Jan talked at a furious pace, and Patrik kept quiet so he wouldn’t interrupt the flow of words.
Jan lit a cigarette, rolled down the window a crack to let out the smoke, and went on. ‘The three of us lived in our own world. We met when nobody else was looking and sought comfort and consolation with each other. The strange thing was that although we should actually have served as a reminder of the evil for each other, it was only together that we could escape for a while. I don’t even know how we knew. Or why we first sought out each other’s company. But somehow we knew. It was inevitable that we would seek each other out. I was the one who decided that we should solve the problem in our own way. Alex and Anders saw it as a game at first, but I knew it would have to turn serious. There was no other way out.
‘One cold, clear winter day we went out on the ice, my foster brother and I. It wasn’t hard to entice him to come along. He was overjoyed that I had taken the initiative, and he was looking forward to our little expedition. I had spent many hours on the ice that winter and knew precisely where to take him. Anders and Alex were waiting there. Nils was surprised when he saw them, but he was so arrogant that he never saw us as a threat. We were only kids, after all. The rest was easy. A hole in the ice, a shove, and he was gone.
‘At first we were so relieved. The first few days were wonderful. Nelly was beside herself with worry over where Nils had gone, but I lay in my bed at night and smiled. I was listening to the absence of footsteps. Then all hell broke loose. Alex’s parents had found out about things-how, I don’t know-and they went to Nelly. Alex probably caved under all the pressure and questions and told them everything, both about me and about Anders. Not about what we did to Nils, but about everything that happened before that. If I ever thought that I would meet with sympathy from my foster mother, I learned my lesson back then. Nelly never again looked me in the eye. She never again asked where Nils was. Sometimes I wonder whether she suspected something.’
‘Vera was also told about the assaults.’
‘Yes, but Mother was clever. She played on Vera’s need to protect Anders and keep up appearances. She didn’t even have to pay her off, or bribe her with a good job to make her keep quiet.’
‘Do you think that Vera found out as well, sooner or later, what happened to Nils?’
‘I’m completely convinced of it. I don’t think that Anders would have been able to keep something like that from Vera for all those years.’
Patrik was thinking out loud. ‘So presumably Vera murdered Alex not only to keep her quiet about the assaults, but because she was afraid that Anders would be indicted for murder.’
Jan’s smile was almost gleeful. ‘Which is almost comical. First of all, the murder falls under the statute of limitations, and second, no one would bother bringing indictments against us now, so long afterwards, in view of the circumstances and the fact that we were only children then.’
Reluctantly Patrik was forced to agree with him. There wouldn’t have been any consequences if Alex had gone to the police and told them everything that happened. But presumably Vera didn’t understand that; she believed that there was a real danger that Anders would be convicted of murder.
‘Did you stay in contact afterwards? You and Alex and Anders?’
‘No. Alex moved away almost immediately and Anders retreated into his own little world. Of course, we did see each other occasionally, but we hadn’t spoken to each other in twenty-five years until Anders rang me after Alex’s death, screaming and yelling that I was the one who had murdered her. Naturally I denied it. I had nothing to do with her death, but he wouldn’t give up.’
‘Didn’t you know that she had thought about going to the police and telling them about Nils’s death?’
‘Not before she died, no. Anders told me that afterwards.’ Jan nonchalantly blew some smoke rings in the car.
‘What would have happened if you had known?’
‘I suppose we’ll never know, will we?’ He turned to Patrik and regarded him with his cold blue eyes. Patrik shuddered. No, they would never know.
‘As I said, no one would ever have bothered to send us to prison for what we did. But of course I’ll be the first to admit that it has complicated my relationship with my mother a bit.’
Then Jan abruptly changed the subject.
‘They were apparently screwing, according to what I heard, Anders and Alex. Talk about beauty and the beast. Maybe I should have had a go myself, for old times’ sake…’
Patrik felt absolutely no sympathy for the man next to him. It’s true that he had gone through hell as a child, but there was something more than that in Jan. Something evil and rotten that oozed out of his pores. On pure impulse Patrik said, ‘Your parents died under tragic circumstances. Do you know anything more about what happened, other than what came out in the investigation?’
A smile played at the corners of Jan’s mouth. He rolled down the window another inch or two and flicked his fag-end out the window.
‘An accident can happen so easily, can’t it? A lamp falling over, a curtain fluttering. Tiny incidents that join forces and cause a major event. Then again, it could be said that it’s purely God’s will that accidents happen to people who deserve them.’
‘Why did you agree to meet with me? Why are you telling me all this?’
‘I was surprised myself, actually. I hadn’t intended to come, but curiosity got the best of me, I think. And we all have a need to tell someone about what we’ve done. Especially when that someone can’t do anything about the deeds he’s hearing about. Nils’s death lies far back in time, it’s my word against yours, and no one would believe you, I’m afraid.’
Jan climbed out of the car but turned round and leaned inside.
‘I believe that crime actually does pay for some people. One day I’m going to inherit a considerable fortune. If Nils had lived I doubt that I’d be in this situation.’
He saluted facetiously with two fingers to his brow, closed the door and walked back to his own car. Patrik could feel a malicious grin spreading over his face. Jan obviously didn’t know about Julia’s relationship with Nelly or the role she would play on the day the will was read. The ways of God were undeniably inscrutable.