I’m approaching the guardhouse now. I have forgotten how cold it gets here in the Rockies. I’ve only been outside a few times in my life. New Mexico, despite its name, seems to be nothing but pines, rocks and ice in the winter. Even the electric fence that runs between the two higher fences of barbed wire and chain links can barely put out enough heat to drive off the drifts of snow.
I’m having a bit of trouble with the bomb just now; it keeps riding up on my ribs. I think the gels might be contracting a bit due to the cold. I hope no one notices that my paunch is lifting itself and puffing up like a cobra’s hood.
Report: Dr. Robert Kieffer, Physicist, Technical Area 21.
Dr. Gideon showed up two hours earlier than expected. He explained that he had taken an earlier flight and had gotten into Albuquerque the night before instead of this morning. Gideon was the new software expert that we had been waiting for to help us with the ATLAS system. He was older than I had expected. A lot older. I had been told that he was in his late twenties, a hot new recruit from MIT. Instead I found him to be a large, slow-moving man in his late thirties or early forties. By large, I mean fat.
He passed security easily; we skipped no procedures. We signed in, went through the metal detectors and Geiger counters and unstrapped our personal computers to put them through the x-ray machine. I was assigned as his primary escort for the day, as he was an uncleared visitor.
I must state for the record that I was taken completely by surprise by subsequent events, as I believe everyone was at TA 96.
Gideon’s Transcript:
What strikes me most is just how healthy they all are. Their color is so good, their cheeks so pink and rosy. Few of us at the compound look so hale and full of vigor. I feel like I’m watching another speed-learning video.
Bob Kieffer seems like a friendly man. He reminds me of the older man, Reno, who services my cell back home. While we slide our security badges into the small brass dish that is the only access underneath the two inch-thick bullet-proof glass, I see the photos in his wallet. He seems to have a wife and a little girl. The little girl is holding a red figure-a Star Viking doll! I’ve seen them during culture-orientation days on television. I always like the commercials best; they seem to say the most about people.
Bob has a keen mind, I can see that already. His movements, like his mind, are very quick, almost bird-like. I sincerely hope that he makes it through today.
The guards are grim-faced. They merely stare at us through the thick, slightly greenish glass. It seems to be taking forever for our security badges to be accepted by the barcode reader. Clipboards are signed, IDs are passed back and forth, the procedures are endless. Other fully-cleared personnel are backing up at the front of the guardhouse now, looking annoyed. The security men ignore them and move at the same methodical pace.
I notice the interior of the guardhouse. Squinting through the glass into the gloom, I see a rack of guns on the wall. Two automatic rifles top the rack. Below this is a shotgun with a string of shells velcroed to the stock. At the bottom is a large, ugly, black thing with a tripod. An M60? I can only hazard a guess. All the weapons have a worn look to them, and I wonder if they have killed anyone in the past.
Finally, the guards let us pass. As though a cork has been fired from a champagne bottle, people are streaming by on both sides of us while we reorganize our security papers. My breath is blowing cold and white. I notice my fingers are quivering a bit of their own accord.
“Quite good security you have here, Bob,” I comment, relieved that I have made it into the compound without incident. Nothing in the bomb or the ignition system contains more than the amount of metal found in a single of house key. None of the detectors picked it up.
“Yes, but you get used to it.”
“An army of terrorists couldn’t bust into here.”
He looks up at me, and my blood turns cold. I shouldn’t be talking about such things. I feel a rush of paranoia. Can he hear my thoughts? Is he transcribing them somewhere the way that the computer is supposed to be doing?
He smiles, and so I smile. “No, they couldn’t. But those guns in the guardhouse and the towers are just as keen on keeping us inside in case of a disaster as they are in keeping out invaders. Plutonium dust is worked here, as you know. It’s still the most deadly substance we’ve yet to find, and it can’t be allowed out of the compound.”
I nod, relieved that he isn’t suspicious. I squint in the snow-white glare up at the towers he has indicated. Men wearing dark shades stare back at me without humor. The open-mouthed gun muzzle of each guard forms a third black eye.
Together, we walk carefully on the icy cement leading up to the reception area. I’m amazed at how normal the place looks once you’re inside the compound. TA 96 looks like any campus building, if you ignore the fences and the armed men in the towers.
I have an unreal feeling being here. I sort of expected the security to have stopped me by now. Of course, they can’t be blamed. After all, my identification is absolutely authentic.
Taped interview: Manuel Ramirez, security guard, Technical Area 96:
I watched him like I watch everybody that comes in or goes out. He didn’t have any of the marks of a terrorist. He was a fat middle-aged man, maybe a bit sick, but not dangerous. I can see why they sent him. Who would suspect a wimpy old fat guy?
He didn’t meet my eyes, but then, few of them do.
Gideon’s Transcript:
I can’t stop thinking about my cancer. I know it doesn’t matter now, but somehow carrying around blotches of alien cells inside my body is worse than this girdle of squishy explosive. I keep thinking about my cancer, all the accelerated growth caused it, they tell me. No one can live a lifetime in just a few years and come out right. All I can do is walk and talk-oh, and wet my pants-like one of those dolls in the old commercials. I’m a fake. A department store dummy. A sham.
I must stop letting my mind wander and stick to the situation at hand. I can’t fail because I’m daydreaming.
I see the receptionist now, Sarah Rasmussen. She is security, too. She has a snub-nosed. 38 stashed in her desk, and her favorite-aunt appearance is deceiving, just like they said in the briefing. I can almost feel her sizing me up. Her eyes drop to my paunch. I’m suddenly self-conscious about it. Does it look right? Is it sagging in the right places, is it bulging properly? Women are so much more discerning about things like this.
Oh God, she’s frowning. We haven’t even been introduced, and she’s frowning at me, at my explosive belly.
“Sarah, this is Dr. Gideon,” says Bob Kieffer. I blink at them stupidly.
Sarah nods smartly, she already knows my name. It is her job to know me.
“Dr. Gideon,” she nods to me, smiling with her mouth, but still frowning with her eyes. “Just how old are you?”
There it was. She just came out with it. I’m supposed to be 28, right out of MIT, and any fool can see that I’m not 28, that I’m an imposter, a fat old man with a boy’s face and ID. I’m not actually old, but my body is. The aging processes have worked all too well on me. My mouth opens to answer and nothing comes out but a rumble of gas from my diseased, bomb-wrapped stomach.
“Just fill this out, will you Sam?” Bob asks me. To Sarah he says: “Sam is helping us with the software system down in the lab. He’s a networking expert.”
I gaze at him stupidly, then at the clipboard he is handing me. It takes me a moment to grasp that he is trying to save me embarrassment. He has completely misread the situation. I grab onto the opportunity like a drowning man reaching for a life vest. The clipboard almost slips from my grasp, but I recover with a nervous laugh. Right now, I realize with crystal clarity that I’m actually lousy at this.
“Could you show Dr. Gideon the orientation tape, Sarah?” asks Kieffer. I have a sudden urge to kiss the man.
