After Midnight

“You’re kidding. You thought I’d come out if you stripped for me?”

“Oh, it’s a tried-and-true technique.” He grinned. “In fact, you were pulling much the same stunt in order to lure Elroy out of the house just a few minutes ago.”

“That was different.”

“Oh, really?”

“For one thing, I wasn’t some stranger. For another, guys are crazy about breasts. It doesn’t work the other way around.”

“It doesn’t? I must say, that comes as a surprise to me. In my own experience, the stripping routine rarely fails. Of course, I don’t always get completely naked. That depends on the woman. But I often let myself be seen in various stages of undress. I’m just there, keeping my distance, pretty much minding my own business, as if I’ve shown up by accident. And I allow them to watch me, to spy on me. The longer they watch me, the more intrigued—and aroused—they become. It works most of the time.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Not at all. It’s so easy. I don’t have to break in and catch my victims, they come to me. More often than not. But you have to realize, I’ve already checked them out. They’re always women. Always alone. In some cases, it’s obvious that they’re…hungry for romance. You, for instance.”

Feeling myself blush, I said, “You had that wrong.”

“Did I?”

“You’d better believe it.”

“I don’t believe it. It would’ve been obvious to anyone who saw you by the pool yesterday. That bikini you had on, the way you rubbed the suntan oil on your body, the way you sprawled on the lounger…you wanted hands on you. You wanted a man all over you and in you.”

“Wrong,” I said, and squirmed a little.

“I told Milo, ‘This gal’s as hot to trot as they come. I might not be able to keep her off me.’ So, I must say, it came as a shock to find you calling the cops.”

“Couldn’t have been much of a shock, the way you started humping the door.”

He looked confused for a moment, then grinned. “Oh, that,” he said. “Afraid I couldn’t help it. You looked so…ravishing. You were wearing that silk robe. And your breast was out, you know.”

“Not on purpose.”

“Perhaps not.”

“No perhaps about it. It was an accident.”

“Are there any such things as accidents? Freud, I believe, said no.”

“Fuck Freud,” I said.

Chuckling softly, Steve lowered his eyes from my face to my breasts.

“Let me see them now,” he said. “Take off the bra.”

I gave some thought to refusing. But he would’ve hurt me. Besides, my bra was wet from the pool and not exactly comfortable. Also, it was a warm night with a soft breeze.

On top of all that, he had the saber. If he wanted my bra off, it would come off whether I refused or not.

I went ahead and took it off and dropped it to the concrete beside my chair.

“How’s that?” I asked.

“Spectacular.”

I picked up my glass, finished the remains of my margarita, and set it down on the table. Standing up, Steve gave me a refill from the pitcher.

When he was seated again, I said, “I wasn’t really calling the police, you know.”

“Is that so?”

“I just wanted you to think I was. It was a wrong number. Somebody called the house by mistake. But you had no way of knowing that. For all you could tell, it was me calling 911. I even turned on the light to make sure you would see me.”

“What a gal. Gorgeous, tough, and tricky.”

“Obviously, not tricky enough. Or as tricky as you. You didn’t really go away, did you? You just wanted me to think I’d scared you off.”

“That’s right. I ran off into the woods, but then I circled back.”

“Weren’t you afraid the cops might show up?”

“Not in the least. If they’d come, I simply would’ve disappeared into the woods. I’m very good at disappearing.” He took a sip of his drink, then looked at me. First at my breasts, then at my face. Then he said, “So who did show up?”

“You don’t know?”

He raised his eyebrows.

“Not as smart as you think you are,” I said.

He lurched forward over the table and his hand flew out and slapped me across the face. Then, smiling mildly, he settled back in his chair and asked, “So, who did show up?”

I rubbed my cheek and said, “A guy named Tony. I didn’t even know him. He was the one who’d called. I’d told him about you on the phone, and I guess he decided to come over and protect me. I guess that’s what he had in mind. He never told me anything.”

“He came to save you from me, and you smote him with your sword.”

“I suppose you saw that.”

“Sure did. I saw everything, from the moment you opened the front door till you drove away with his pieces. It was a rather amazing spectacle.” Shaking his head, Steve said, “I could hardly believe my eyes when you started to dismember him. It seemed—so over the top.”

“He was too heavy, that’s all. It was the only way I could get him into the trunk.”

“I was awestruck. And rather smitten with you, I must admit. Not only was your behavior truly extraordinary, but you were stark naked much of the time. A sight to behold.” With a grin, he asked, “Were you naked by accident?”

“I didn’t want to get everything bloody, that’s all.”

“Well, I thank you. It was magnificent to watch you at work, all bare and sweaty. God, how I wanted you!”

“So, how come you didn’t jump me?”

“Oh, that would’ve interrupted your show. I wanted to see it through to the finish.” With a small laugh, he said, “I will be lucky enough to catch the end, though. I’ll be a participant in it. But I regret missing some of the middle parts. I wanted so badly to follow you when you drove away with poor Tony in pieces in your trunk.”

“What did you do, go running back to the woods to tell Milo all about it, show him some more photos?”

“I didn’t have the camera. It’s no good at night. The flash would give me away. No, I stayed at the house. I wanted to be there when you came back. So I waited and waited. I waited an awfully long time. It was just an agony, the waiting, because I longed for you so much. Finally, I decided to call it a night, and try again tomorrow. So I bid your house a fond farewell and hiked back through the woods to our campsite…and who should I find there but you? YOU, my splendid savage, in the very midst of a life and death struggle with my dear demented friend, Milo!”

“And you did nothing but hide and watch?”

“It was a splendid show. All of it.”

“You just…let me go ahead and kill him?”

“Certainly.”

“Why didn’t you try to save him?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Why, oh why? Perhaps because you might’ve killed me? You had that pistol. I’ve never much fancied the notion of being shot. I certainly didn’t want to risk a bullet for Milo’s sake. I’d grown weary of him. He was so bossy. And he always had to have firsties. One gets tired of sloppy seconds.”

A thoughtful look on his face, Steve said, “I suppose I was pulling for you to win. That would be a reason for not trying to save Milo, wouldn’t it? Also, I was enjoying the show too much to join in. There’s nothing like a good fight, especially when a woman is involved. Especially when the woman is you.