A Child In Need

And he couldn’t even begin to think that he might need her.

No. Concentrate on Harry. Leave Shanni to her queues of suitors… He had to concentrate on Harry.

Tuesday night he walked over to the home and almost knocked on the door-and then he walked away. He did a few miles of jogging on the beach, came back, stared at the darkened children’s home, swore at himself and then went back to his apartment above the courthouse. And thought…

Shanni. Harry. Shanni…

Harry! Wednesday night he returned, and this time he knocked. It was too hard not to.

‘Nick.’ Wendy met him at the door, her face wary. There were two little girls in the hall, playing with dolls. Wendy half opened the door but she didn’t invite him in. ‘Can I help you?’

‘I came to see Harry.’

‘Have you, now?’ There was caution in her voice-not the open friendliness she’d shown him last week.

What had Shanni said to her?

But Shanni, it seemed, hadn’t said a word. The wariness was all Wendy’s.

‘Harry had a lovely day on Sunday, Nick,’ she said. ‘Just wonderful. But then…on Monday he sort of thought you’d come. Shanni didn’t know if you would, I wasn’t sure, so I rang the courthouse. Mary said she’d have you ring back. Didn’t you get my message?’

Yeah. He’d got the message. It had taken him up until now to figure out what he wanted to say.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Harry doesn’t mind you not coming so much,’ Wendy said. ‘Well, to be honest, he does mind, but he can cope. What he can’t cope with is not knowing where he stands with you. Whether he has a friend or not.’

And there it was. If he committed now he’d be committing totally. This wasn’t like a relationship with an adult that he could explain away at some time in the future.

Not like his relationship with Shanni…

For heaven’s sake. Think of Harry. Harry! There was no way he could back out now.

‘Can I talk to you?’ he said.

‘I’m here to be talked to,’ Wendy said. She held the door open a little wider but still she didn’t invite him in. ‘Harry’s in the kitchen. Talk here.’

You need to make a decision before you go one step further, her voice warned him, and he nodded.

‘Wendy, I’m not talking about taking Harry on long-term or anything,’ he warned. ‘I can’t adopt him or foster him.’

‘No one’s asking you to do that.’ Her eyes were still wary, and she was reading his eyes. ‘Harry isn’t asking that. He expects nothing of the world. But he needs a friend. Desperately. A friend who’s constant-who says I’ll see you once a week and who doesn’t break that promise unless there’s a darned good reason and Harry knows what that reason is.’

‘Once a week…’

‘Any less than that and it’s not worth it,’ she said bluntly. ‘He’s just a baby, and he’s too little to remember. So, yes. Once a week or nothing.’

Nick took a deep breath.

And took the plunge.

‘I can do that.’

There. It was said. The commitment made him take a step back. He’d never made such a promise in his life. But…it wasn’t such a bad feeling.

Except it scared him half to death. And Wendy saw.

‘Did you ever have any decent relationships with anyone?’ she asked gently. ‘When you were little?’

‘I…no.’

She shook her head, and the wariness was gone. There was only gentleness and caring left. ‘Then, praise be,’ she said softly, ‘it seems Bay Beach has itself quite a magistrate. If you can get over that…’

‘Hey, I don’t…’

‘You already have,’ she said warmly, and threw the door wide. ‘Tonight you’ve taken the first step. Let’s see where we go from here.’

He still had to go to Melbourne for the weekend. It wasn’t just ties, he thought dryly. He’d only brought necessities, thinking he’d be back and forth all the time, so he needed to go.

But when he told Wendy and Harry that…

‘I like Melbourne,’ Harry said, sitting up at the kitchen table eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream and trying not to look as if he’d been given the world because his Nick had come to visit. Because his Nick was eating chocolate ice cream beside him. ‘Me and Daddy went to Melbourne every weekend.’

‘Did you?’ It was impossible for Nick not to hear the hint in the little boy’s voice. The longing…

And for a whole five seconds he stayed strong. But Wendy was watching him. Daring him. Wendy who was Shanni’s friend, and Nick knew what Shanni would expect him to do.

Harry was watching, too, with eyes that said he expected nothing.

It was too much. A tougher man than him would break under this pressure.

‘Would you like to come?’

‘Yes,’ Harry said, so promptly that Nick nearly choked on his ice cream. For heaven’s sake, what had he done?

But it was too late to draw back now.

‘I’ll pick you up on Friday after work,’ he said, casting a desperate look at Wendy. She grinned.

‘See-doesn’t hurt at all.’

‘I don’t know how to care for him-look after his leg…’

‘I’ll write you a list of instructions,’ she said blithely. ‘But kid-care’s a doddle. Easy as falling off a log. I’ll even organise a booster seat for the car.’

But there was one more problem and it wasn’t Nick’s. ‘I…I don’t want to go in the car,’ Harry said, and his voice was suddenly desperately anxious. He even stopped ice-cream-eating. Wendy sighed, scooped him up and placed him on her knee. She understood this fear.

‘Harry, you and your daddy had a terrible car crash but that was a really unlucky time. It’s not going to happen again.’

But Harry was torn. Nick could see it. He desperately wanted to go to Melbourne-with his Nick-but hours in a car with all of his dreadful memories was almost too much to face.

Okay, then. In for a penny… ‘We’ll take the train,’ Nick said.

Wendy almost dropped Harry. ‘You’re joking.’

‘I never joke,’ Nick said heavily. ‘More’s the pity. We’ll catch the evening train on Friday. Will you be ready, Harry?’

‘Yes,’ he said joyfully, and he wriggled off Wendy’s lap and burrowed his face into his ice cream as if it was champagne.

What had he done?

He couldn’t believe he’d offered. For the next couple of days Nick worked in a stunned stupor. Taking a tiny child to Melbourne… Giving up his car for the weekend…

His friends would die laughing.

They wouldn’t see, he decided. He couldn’t take Harry to his usual haunts.

Where would he take him?

‘You’re quiet,’ Mary said, as she gave him his Friday court list. Heaven knew whether she’d heard of his weekend plans. Probably not, he decided. She’d have said something. But it was unlike this town to keep things quiet. For Wendy not to talk…

Mary was waiting for an answer and he had to dredge one from somewhere. ‘It’s just…I’m looking forward to a weekend away.’

‘I’ll bet you are,’ she said softly, and her eyes held a look he didn’t understand in the least.