Prince Regent. When you’ve done with your travelling, maybe you can come back, decide whether or not to take on the throne, and I can leave or stay, whatever you wish.’
‘But that puts your life in limbo.’
‘No,’ he said forcibly. ‘I want this job, Rose. There’s so much I can do. There are so many plans to make-so much to do to get the economy turned round. It’s the most exciting job I’ve ever taken on-it’s an honour to be asked to take it.’
‘But…’ she said.
‘But?’
‘I wouldn’t mind helping.’
‘You can at the end of the year. Or you can now. You can take over in your own right.’
‘I’m not a legitimate princess.’
‘You’re the acknowledged daughter of a prince. You’re my wife. You’re legitimate in every sense of the word.’
‘It was a fake marriage.’
‘We signed all the documents,’ he said. ‘It felt real to me.’ He smiled. ‘And you’ve personally introduced your botany collection to the world. There’ll not be one person in this castle who’ll believe our marriage is sham now.’
‘But you don’t want me to stay…with
‘You want to be free,’ Nick said, trying not to let his heart leap. She couldn’t want him. He had to be imagining it. Theirs was a marriage of convenience.
But, damn it, he wasn’t going to let her go without giving it a shot.
‘Though I wouldn’t mind,’ he said softly. ‘If you wanted to stay. I mean, freedom means freedom of choice, so there is that option.’
‘Freedom does mean choice,’ she whispered back. ‘So if I chose, say, not to travel round Australia but instead maybe to travel, say, round the perimeter of this castle…With my dog and my companion.’
‘What sort of companion?’
‘Ooh. Maybe a husband?’
The world stilled. The world held its breath.
‘What about that for an idea?’ she said cautiously. ‘In theory, are there things about it that might appeal to you?’
‘There might be,’ he said, just as cautiously.
‘Like, um, what?’
‘Sharing a tent is always fun,’ he said.
The smile was returning to her eyes. It was the smile he’d fallen for.
He smiled back, and for Rose it was the same. Nick’s was the smile that had lifted her from the bleakness of her past and propelled her into the future.
‘There’s probably room in the grounds of the royal castle for a small tent,’ she told him. ‘But we’d have to get your brother’s security forces to leave us be. Floodlights in the wee small hours sweeping our tent might not be as romantic as I’d like.’
‘You’d like it to be romantic?’
‘Wouldn’t you?’
His smile died. The look he gave her was searching. He wasn’t touching her. Why not? She wanted so badly to be touched.
She couldn’t reach out to him. She wouldn’t. A girl had some pride.
‘Rose, your freedom.’
‘What about your freedom?’ she asked. ‘You never wanted to be married.’
‘I never wanted to be married to anyone at all until I met you. Now I never want to be married to anyone
‘I want to be held.’
‘You’ve never been free.’
‘Freedom’s got some downsides. It needs some inclusions.’
‘Like what?’
‘You.’
There it was. Out in front, for both of them to see.
And his smile didn’t fade one bit. It changed, deepened, broadened, and the smile in his eyes was a caress all by itself.
‘I love you, Rose,’ he said simply, and her heart did that stupid stopping thing all over again. He’d said it. She looked deep into his eyes and saw immutable truth: love and wonder and need. But also a trace of bleakness-even fear-as though even now he felt like he was exposing himself. A child who’d been brought up in foster homes. Who’d struggled to be independent. Who’d struggled not to need, and who’d come to the same sweet conclusion that she had.
That need wasn’t such a bad thing. In fact, need could be the most glorious thing in the world.
‘How can you love me?’ she managed, and he smiled.
‘In a million ways. Far too many to count. But Rose, your freedom…’
‘I am free,’ she told him. ‘I’m free to go wherever I want in the world. I’m free to leave the shadows of Max behind, and move forward without guilt or regret. You’ve given me that. I’m not sure how, and I’m not sure why, but you have. I’m free to be my own woman and I’m free to love. And I do love, Nick. I choose to love you.’
‘You do?’
‘Yes.’
Still he didn’t move. It was like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
‘We’ll have to live here.’
‘Oh, no. A castle. In the most beautiful country in the world.’ She smiled up at him, feeling dizzy with happiness. ‘I’ll try to bear it.’
‘We’ll be in the public eye. It’s a goldfish bowl, royalty.’
‘It might be fun,’ she said, with a certainty that was becoming stronger by the minute. ‘I felt claustrophobic here as a kid, but I’d have a lot more freedom now. Us in our tent on the front lawn…I expect we’d shock the socks off the tabloid press at least once a week.’
‘I’ll never ask you to have babies.’
She stilled. There was so much between them.
Why was he not holding her?
‘You won’t?’ she whispered.
‘Rose, to be asked to bear Max’s baby…’
‘It was different,’ she said, thinking it through, trying to figure things out for herself. ‘It was just…It just felt wrong. You know, Max had that sperm frozen when he was seventeen years old. He never discussed it with me. It was like a bolt from the blue. If I’d had a baby, it would have been like bearing a child that belonged to Max’s past. And any baby I have I want to belong to the future. So if you and I wanted a baby…’
‘I never thought I would,’ he said softly, wondrously. ‘I never imagined I could possibly want to bring a child into the world. But you know, with you…If we had a castle…’
‘And Ruby as a grandma. She’d make a great grandma.’
‘She will.’ His smile was back now, with vengeance. ‘And maybe we could even include Gladys and Bob. Just a little bit.’
‘You’d do that?’
‘I’ll talk to them,’ he said. ‘If you want. They’ve been part of your life for so long that it might hurt if they don’t give us their blessing.’ He frowned. ‘Maybe some of that independence money you’ve just knocked back could set up a fund for a veterinarian practice in the town-in Max’s name.’
‘Oh, Nick,’ she said, awed.
‘I know,’ he said softly, and grinned. ‘I’m wonderful.’
‘And handsome and kind and clever.’
