‘Something castor oil-ish. Something to give us both a decent purge. Reassure us we’re okay.’
‘You’re asking me to kiss you or book you in for a colonoscopy?’
‘Take your pick. I’ve imposed on your hospitality. It’s up to you to name the price.’ She grinned and raised her face. She jutted her chin in what he suspected was a gesture of defiance. To whom? To Charles? To her whole history? ‘If it’s not too much trouble.’
‘It’s definitely not too much trouble,’ he said faintly-and then stopped speaking.
He had better things to do.
CHAPTER SIX
IT DIDN’T quite work.
He wasn’t holding her tight enough. She slipped a little as their lips met; his mouth brushed hers, too briefly, and the kiss landed off centre.
She pulled back, just a little. ‘Whoops.’
‘Whoops?’ It wasn’t just his kiss that was off centre.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, then eyed him sideways. ‘I’m sorry. I’m strung up tight as a Stradivarius string.’
‘Stradivarius?’
‘Violin. You don’t play?’
‘No.’
‘Thank God for that.’
‘You don’t like violins?’
‘When other people play they’re fine. But my parents dream of me playing when my music talent is more suitable for…I don’t know…bongo drums.’
Funny. Interesting. Excellent dinner-party conversation.
Except they weren’t at a dinner party. They were right here. Right now.
She might seem sure of herself, this woman, but talking violins when there was kissing to be done…that was nerves.
‘Are we getting distracted?’
‘I’m a bit nervous,’ she conceded.
‘Kissing’s much easier than playing a violin,’ he assured her. And before she could think of anything else to say, any other way to distract him-he tugged her tighter. He centred her so this time he couldn’t miss-and he kissed her again.
Better didn’t even begin to describe it. Better, better and better.
You didn’t get to be thirty-five without learning how to kiss, Even though serious relationships weren’t on his agenda, he’d had some very satisfactory frivolous ones-but nothing had prepared him for this. Not for the way she made him feel.
It was like he’d been zapped by an electric charge. If he could see himself in a mirror maybe his hair would be standing on end, he thought with the tiny amount of head room he had available for analysis. Which wasn’t much, and what was available was getting less by the second.
He’d expected a kiss. But this was a…
From the moment his mouth met hers, nothing was as it had been. Nothing was as it should be.
What was that word? Discombobulated. He’d never used it.
He needed it now.
For his thoughts were whirling, jumbled, out of kilter. His senses were centred solely on the fire inside, the fire this woman was creating. His brain felt short-circuited, circuits zapped and overlaid by sensations he’d never felt before.
This was a need he didn’t know he had. She was melting into him and he was on fire. She was surrendering herself to him and it was the most exquisite gift…the most life-affirming generosity.
Her beauty stunned him. His hands caressed the small of her back and he thought he’d never known a woman as beautiful. Her breasts were melting against his chest and it was as if she was merging into him. Two bodies becoming one, fused by fire.
Her surrender was total. As his hands moved to her hips and tugged her closer he felt her rise to meet him, standing on tiptoe so her thighs were against his. He was responding with a fire he hadn’t known he possessed.
She was the loveliest thing, the most beautiful woman, and amazingly she was opening herself to him, wanting him with a desperation that belied description.
But…
The word clanged into his head, unwanted, uncalled for, but suddenly there, loud and clear. He had an armful of the most desirable woman in the world but suddenly the instinctive knowledge of her despair was overwhelming.
Once thought, it couldn’t be unthought.
She was letting herself sink into him to prove something to herself that had nothing to do with him.
How he knew it he couldn’t say, but all of a sudden it was fact and the effect turned fire to ice.
How the hell he managed to stop, to pull away, he never knew, but somehow he did. He put her far enough so that he could look down into her eyes and see if the word he’d thought had any reality.
It did. She was gazing up at him, her eyes softly luminous, trying to smile, but there was confusion behind her smile. Her lip looked bruised, he thought. Had he kissed her so hard? She put her hands up to his head to tug him down to her again, but the sight of those bruised lips-of the confusion behind her smile-had him shaking his head.
‘No.’
‘N-no?’ His pause had shaken her. He saw her bewilderment increase, and it was almost his undoing. She was here for the taking. She was a grown woman, a colleague who was surely old enough to know her own mind.
But still that word. Desperation.
‘Erin, why are you doing this?’
‘What…?’
‘I’d take you to my bed in a heartbeat,’ he said softly into her hair. Wanting desperately to increase the hold. ‘But I know you’re in trouble and I’m not sure you’re kissing me for the right reasons.’
It was like tossing cold water over her. She pulled back a little, she gazed up at him for a long, bewildered moment and then slowly she tugged away. He released her with all the regret in the world.
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she managed, but he could see that she did.
‘You’re injured,’ he said softly. ‘You’ve come here as my patient…’
‘No.’
‘You came here last night because there was a sign on my front gate that said Doctor. Didn’t you?’
‘Of course I did,’ she managed. ‘But that doesn’t mean-’
‘I think it does mean. You’re hurt. You came here for treatment and for refuge. For me to take advantage…’
‘You’re not taking advantage. Dom, you make me feel…’
‘Yeah, well you make me feel, too,’ he said ruefully. ‘I do nothing but feel when I hold you. When I kiss you. But you’re an emotional mess.’
‘I am not!’ It was said with such indignation that he almost laughed.
‘Okay, you’re not, so blame it on me. I don’t want to feel like you make me feel. It’s not that I’m not flattered…’
‘Flattered,’ she said, astounded.
‘What man wouldn’t be flattered?’
‘So you’re taking what just happened as…a compliment?’ She gazed at him incredulously. ‘You’re not gay, I suppose?’
