‘I’ll have to talk to Tom before I can agree,’ she managed. ‘Tom’s the director of Bay Beach Orphanage. Arrangements like this are up to him.’
In answer, Charlotte gave her lovely, soft, carefully cultivated laugh.
‘It’s a wonderful offer, Erin. How could Tom refuse?’
How indeed?
CHAPTER TEN
‘I’M SORRY that was sprung on you.’
Charlotte hadn’t stuck around for long. ‘With only four weeks to go I have so much to organise. Goodness, Matt, we haven’t even sent out the invitations yet. Mother and I have so much to do.’ And with that she was gone.
The twins, not understanding a word of what had been said-they’d formed the habit of tuning out whenever Charlotte was around-had left to do their allotted morning tasks, and Erin was left facing Matt.
She felt sick. What had he said? She gave herself a mental shake, hauling her thoughts together. ‘I guess you don’t have to be sorry. It’s been very generous of you to offer to have us this long, and we now have another six weeks.’
‘You can all stay for as long as you want,’ he said, more forcibly than he’d intended, and Erin gave him a half hearted smile.
‘Matt, you know that’s not possible. Six weeks will give us time to find…’
‘Erin, I want the twins!’
That startled her. She sat back and looked at him, and for the first time saw the pain and the longing behind his eyes.
Pain? Matt? Matt who’d been so careful for his whole life to keep him existence emotion free? Who was marrying Charlotte as yet another way to keep his world ordered and emotionless.
And yet there was definitely pain. And longing.
‘You want to keep them?’ she asked incredulously and he nodded.
‘Yes. Hell, Erin, they’re great kids. If I can persuade Charlotte… If I can get her used to them, then I’ll adopt them. God knows they deserved better treatment than they’ve been getting.’
‘I look after them,’ she said, and got a swift shamefaced smile for her pains.
‘Of course you do. I didn’t mean to infer that you don’t. But you know what Bay Beach is like. Like every local, I’ve heard their story, and what I didn’t know exactly I’ve heard by asking around. And I think, if Charlotte gets to like them…’
‘Do you think she will?’
‘They’ll be outside with me most of the time.’ He gave her a half-hearted grin. ‘She knows I want children and this way she won’t have to get pregnant to have them. That’ll be a bonus.’
A bonus? Was he kidding? Erin thought of the possibility of bearing babies for Matt, and she felt her heart constrict at the thought. There was a wave of almost indescribable longing…
Stop it, Erin, she told herself sharply. There was nothing down that road but pain.
‘So you’ll have a wife and family with minimum effort,’ she managed, and he nodded as if her question was entirely reasonable.
‘Yes. I could even enjoy it.’
‘You think the boys could, too?’
‘I don’t see why not?’
‘They need a mother.’
‘They can get by with just me.’
There. He’d said it. It hung between them, cold and flat, an expression of what he knew his marriage would be. An expression of all he’d learned the world held.
The twins didn’t
Well, he didn’t, he thought bleakly, and why the sight of Erin, white-faced and trying desperately to disguise her desperation, should have the power to move him, to make him want to reach out and take her hands in his and hold her…
For comfort, he told himself harshly. For nothing but comfort!
‘It won’t work, Matt,’ Erin said sadly. ‘It’s a fine offer but the boys need a family.’
‘We would be a family.’
‘Nope.’
‘Erin, you can’t keep them forever. You’re being selfish.’
‘And you’re being blind.’ She rose, and she felt blind herself. Washed-out and ill. This man was so special, and he was committing himself to a woman who resembled nothing so much as a piece of cold cod fish. And he was committing because Charlotte wouldn’t interfere with his life. Because he didn’t know what a family could be.
She could show him, she thought wildly. She could teach him.
But her help wasn’t being asked for. All she could do was look out for her twins.
‘I need to talk to Tom,’ she said bleakly. ‘I can’t make any promises. If Tom says it’s okay, then it’s none of my business.’
‘Let him try.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘You heard what I said?’ There were two women and one man seated in the kitchen of Bay Beach Orphanage Home Number One. The twins were outside with the other kids, and Lori, Erin and Tom were sitting at the kitchen table holding mugs of coffee before them. The mugs were ignored. There was trouble on all of their faces.
Erin had outlined the basic facts. Lori, who’d heard an interesting version of what was happening from Wendy, was wise enough to keep her own counsel, and Tom had reached his own conclusions.
‘From what I’ve heard, Charlotte’s not the woman to make the twins happy,’ he said. ‘But the twins think Matt’s great and he can keep them under control. Okay, he’s made the offer and it’s a good one. We owe it to the boys to see if it’ll work.’
‘But-’
‘I’m not leaving them there indefinitely,’ Tom said, raising his hand to silence her. ‘Nor am I making other arrangements for you yet, Erin. We’ve put too much trouble into the boys and seen too much improvement to risk losing all our good work now. What I suggest is that we ask Matt and Charlotte to spend a weekend together before the wedding. With the boys. If, after that, they still want to go ahead with keeping the twins, then we’ll assess them as potential foster parents.’
‘Tom…’
‘It’s a gamble,’ he said, his wise eyes resting on Erin and seeing things that maybe she didn’t even realise she was showing. ‘But we’ll take it.’
It was a very long shot, Tom thought, and it wasn’t entirely the twins’ future he was fighting for here. But maybe it was worth the taking.
Erin never found out what means Matt used to persuade Charlotte to spend a weekend of her precious wedding preparations caring for the twins. All she knew was that he had.
‘Tom’s right. It’s sensible,’ he told her. ‘For us to come back from our honeymoon and have no idea how to care for the boys-well, it’ll be less of a shock for everyone if we do it this way.’
‘I don’t like to leave them,’ Erin said doubtfully and Matt thought suddenly that he knew exactly how she felt. He didn’t like her leaving either. But that was emotion speaking. If it had to be, then this was the best way.
‘You know we’re capable of looking after the boys.’
‘No one’s capable if they make up their minds to be trouble.’
‘They behave for me,’ Matt told her.
‘I know.’ But she was still troubled.
