about you. I’m so proud to finally have the chance to know you.’
He glanced at Athena and her eyes were brimful of tears. She wrenched her head around so she was looking out of the window, but not before he’d seen those tears.
‘I’d like to teach you to fish,’ he told Nicky, fighting for something-anything-to say. Hell, there should be a book on what he was doing now. It was too important to mess with, and all he could do was flounder. ‘I’d love to take you in my boat.’
‘You really own a fishing boat?’
‘Really.’
‘I don’t get seasick,’ Nicky said, as if that was important.
‘Neither do I,’ Nikos said and felt something grow in his chest.
His son. The thought was overwhelming.
Nicky and Christa. His son and his daughter.
His family.
‘You have a grandma,’ he said.
‘A grandma.’ Nicky was clearly overwhelmed.
‘Her name is Annia. She’s a princess like your mother.’
‘My grandmother’s a princess?’
‘She’s not as pretty a princess as your mother,’ Nikos told him. ‘And, like your mother, she doesn’t wear a tiara. But I hope you’ll like…I hope you’ll love her. She’s a better fisherman than I am.’
‘Does she get seasick?’
‘No one in my family gets seasick,’ he said and he saw Athena flinch.
Nicky fell silent. No one spoke. Athena was looking out of the window as if her life depended on it.
‘Why didn’t you tell me, Mama?’ Nicky asked and the question hung. For a moment he thought she wasn’t going to answer. For a moment he thought, how could she?
‘I was very young,’ she said at last, and her voice sounded as if it came from a long way away. ‘I was in America and I was by myself. And I knew…I knew Nikos…your papa…and his wife were having a baby here. That baby is Christa. So I thought your papa needed to stay here to take care of Christa. I knew I could take care of you, and I did.’
And behind those words? Raw, unresolved pain. Bleak. Stark. Dreadful.
How to take that pain away?
Nikos knew that he couldn’t. Ten years of pain, and the only way he could alleviate it was a truth that wasn’t his to tell.
And he hadn’t caused that pain. It was Athena who’d left.
‘Why didn’t you come back here?’ Nicky asked her, obviously fighting to find some sense in all this.
‘I have a great job, Nicky,’ Athena said. ‘I needed to work to support you.’
‘But…’ Nicky paused and looked from Athena to Nikos and back again. His mother and his father, and a history he didn’t understand.
This was too heavy, Nikos thought. It was way, way too hard. Maybe they should have left this for the future, for some more appropriate time to tell him, but what was done was done. And somewhere in this mess they had to find joy.
He had a son. Yes, there was heartache and regret but he had a son, and his son needed to lose that look of confusion and…and yes, even the echo of his own sense of betrayal.
‘See that rock out there in the bay?’ he said, fighting for the right note. ‘The big one with the flat top about two hundred yards from shore?’
‘Mmm,’ Nicky said, still dazed.
‘I taught your mother to dive off that rock. Or I tried to. She kept doing bellywhackers.’
‘I did not,’ Athena retorted, struggling not to falter, and he knew that where he went she’d follow. How could she help it now?
‘You did, too,’ he said, and managed a strained sort of grin. ‘You get your mama to take you out and show you her diving skills,’ he told Nicky. ‘She’ll do bellywhackers every single time.’
‘Christa, can you swim?’ Athena asked, still sounding desperate, and Nikos thought maybe he’d got it right. He’d deflected the father bit, giving Nicky time to come to terms with it as he wanted.
He knew there was a lot more discussion to come. Some of that would have to be personal, between Athena and Nicky.
Some of that needed to be between himself and Athena.
‘I like…swimming,’ Christa said. She’d pushed her shoes off-she hated shoes-and her feet were resting on Oscar. ‘I like…dog.’
‘I think Oscar likes you,’ Athena said.
‘Does this mean Christa is my sister?’ Nicky asked and Nikos’s thoughts went flying again. The issues were too big. Huge.
‘I guess she is,’ Athena said softly. ‘Your half-sister.’ Then she said gently, ‘Christa has something called Down’s syndrome. That means she was born with something a little different from most children. All the bits that start a baby growing…they’re called chromosomes. Christa got an extra one. It makes the tips of her ears a bit small. It makes her tongue a little bit big and her eyes really dark and pretty. And it affects her in other ways too, including her speech.’
‘But she likes Oscar.’
‘She does,’ Athena said gravely, smiling at Christa. ‘I think Christa is our friend already. I think having her as your sister might be really cool.’
So much for leading the conversation, Nikos thought. It was now about the three of them. He was right out of the equation.
Somewhere, once, he’d read some scathing comment on fatherhood. Mothers knew all about their children’s dramas, their love lives, the spots on the back of their necks. Fathers were vaguely aware there were short people in the house.
Not him, he thought. With Christa, he’d been so much more hands on. But he felt sidelined here.
‘I wanted a sister,’ Nicky was saying, cautious. ‘A little sister. But Christa’s nine.’
‘I’m nine,’ Christa said, nodding grave agreement.
‘But she’s much shorter than you,’ Thena said. ‘I think she always will be, so that means she’ll always be your little sister.’
‘So I get to look after her?’
‘If you want.’
‘Do I hafta share?’
‘I guess you and Christa can work those things out for yourselves,’ Athena said, and Christa looked at Nicky and beamed.
‘Nicky,’ she said.
‘Brother,’ Nicky said importantly and thumped his chest.
‘Brother,’ Christa repeated and thumped her chest.
They giggled.
Just like that, Nikos thought, stunned. It was over, just like that. Yeah, there’d be complications. Yeah, there’d be difficulties. But, for now…it was sorted.
‘Now,’ Athena said in a voice that boded ill.
‘Now?’
‘What about this reception?’
What were they thinking? Talking of social events when she’d casually given him his son? He felt as if all the wind had been sucked from his lungs and he wasn’t the least sure how to get it back.
Nicky and Christa were looking at each other, sizing each other up, still grinning. Occasionally giggling. Having a sister was obviously a big deal for Nicky. Bigger than having a father?
He’d missed out on nine years of having a son. He looked back to Athena and she was looking as dazed as he
