CHAPTER EIGHT
SHE bought a sewing machine and hemmed curtains. Yes, this home was temporary. Yes, she’d eventually think about rebuilding up on the ridge or selling and finding something else permanent, but right now that decision still seemed too hard.
Sewing was therapeutic, trying to keep trailing drapes from Itsy. So was taking a complete break from injured wildlife.
So was letting herself think about Jake.
He was just a memory, she told herself, a gorgeous guy who’d helped her move on. He’d been her five-minute date who’d turned into her two-day stand.
But the thought of him still made her smile.
She should do something about getting a job, she thought as the days wore on. She shouldn’t settle here and let herself dwell on Jake.
But she wasn’t dwelling. Or not exactly. She was simply savouring what had happened. Why she felt different.
This morning she’d sewn for a whole hour. Enough. She wouldn’t mind a small nap.
This must be the lessening of pressure, she thought as she and Itsy and Rusty headed for bed. It was another reason she wasn’t accepting a job right now. She was too tired.
‘We match,’ she told they dogs. They got up and bounced into frenetic activity for an hour or so; Itsy wore Rusty out, wore herself out and then, both exhausted, they slept.
Rusty loved it; he loved Itsy, and Tori loved watching them. But she was as exhausted as they were.
‘We’re like litter mates,’ she told them, letting them sneak up to her end of the bed.
And she slept, dreaming of Jake.
He should have forgotten her by now, or at least he shouldn’t be thinking of her as often as he was.
He needed more challenging cases, he decided. His patients were all too healthy. He worked steadily through a surgery list that he purposely left even longer than usual. He administered anaesthetic, he monitored his patients like a hawk-almost hoping for a challenge-and they stayed nicely stable and he didn’t have to do anything and then his thoughts drifted to Tori.
He should ring her and find out how she was doing. Or not.
He’d rung Rob to find out how the new direction of the lodge was going. He’d spoken to Glenda, who told him how well Doreen was, and that she was back at the lodge already, that she was without pain and that she was getting better every day. Glenda herself was also better. She was starting to be able to grip with her hand. Her life was so much better without pain. Her cat was settling in. There were two more guests at the lodge now, one with a cat and one with two chihuahuas.
And when finally he got to talk to Rob and casually enquired about Tori, Rob said bluntly he hadn’t seen her, and his blonde had given him the flick, so he was over women for the moment. Glenda was a bit more forthcoming, but not much.
‘No, dear, we haven’t seen her either. Wasn’t she taking a job down in the valley? Doreen and I intend to find out where, so when Pickles needs his shots we can see her again. But Pickles’s shots aren’t due for another three months.’
Great. He was dependent for news on Pickles’s shots. And he didn’t have her phone number.
He wouldn’t ring it even if he did, he decided. It’d mean…
It’d mean nothing. It was what friends and colleagues did. It’d make sense to ring and ask her how Itsy and Rusty were doing, whether she’d found a job, where her life was going.
He wanted to.
He didn’t. He’d asked her to come to Manhattan with him. That request had changed things. Her anger had changed things.
He’d messed up their friendship, so he worked and he tried not to think about her.
He was currently on his fourth case for the day. The patient under his hands was an obese diabetic. All the signs said his triple bypass should be a nightmare, but every one of his vital signs was great. Every monitor showed normal.
The surgical team was chatting between themselves but they let him be. They knew Jake was normally silent. He had the reputation of being aloof.
That was the way he liked it-wasn’t it?
Only…it meant there was time to think, and right now thinking was the one thing Jake didn’t know how to handle.
She wasn’t quite sure when she started thinking it, but when she did she couldn’t get it out of her head.
It started with a vague sense of unease-a wondering about the sleepiness. Why was she so tired? And then she thought…
And then she tried not to think. Only she couldn’t.
It was only that she was thinking about Jake too much, she told herself, but it had her trying to remember.
Her files had been burned along with everything else. The important dates were gone and her memory had holes in it.
Many of the people from the ridge were suffering like this, she knew. Trauma had left gaps in their collective pasts. Post-traumatic stress disorder?
But giving a name to what was happening wasn’t helping. Not when something else might be happening. Or might have happened.
She could phone Susie, she thought, only that’d give voice to her fears.
‘Susie, when did I have my contraceptive implant put in? Am I overdue for renewal?’
She looked up the brand of her implant on the Web-cautiously-and found what she didn’t want to read.
Decreasing efficacy…
Surely she can’t have been due to change. Surely she couldn’t be that dumb.
Could she?
She wasn’t ringing Susie, she decided. The problem with having a friend as her doctor was that her doctor was also her friend. She’d never be allowed to get away with a simple query. Like, when was…when
So wait.
She woke three weeks after Jake had left and nothing had happened-again. She showered and dressed and she felt too nauseous to face breakfast. She took Rusty and Itsy for a walk into town. She came home and she felt like a sleep again. Only first she’d just check out the package she’d brought from the local pharmacy.
She looked.
A thin blue line.
She stared at it for maybe ten minutes. It didn’t change.
She tried the second packet.
Another blue line.
Shock held her motionless. Strangely, though, she wasn’t devastated. She couldn’t be. Even though she was stunned, there was a tiny part of her that admitted…joy? Dumb or what, but there it was.
Maybe subconsciously she’d been expecting it. The lethargy that had enveloped her for the past few weeks almost seemed to have prepared her.
She went out onto the front porch of her shoebox and stared at the distant hills.
She was pregnant.
She was twenty-nine. She had a great career-slightly stalled at the moment but ready to resume any time she
