‘After I graduated.’ Abbey shrugged. ‘John… well, John had the biggest heart. After you left…’ She caught herself remembering how she’d felt when Ryan had left, and she couldn’t stop the pain washing over her face. Let Ryan think it was just her leg…
‘Well, I needed a friend,’ she managed. ‘And John… well, he sort of became it. Then my mum died…’
‘Your mother died?’
‘She died of cancer when I was twelve. And the Wittners took me in. Janet treated me like her own, and John and I… well, we just drifted from friendship into marriage. It was like it was meant. Only…’
‘Only?’
Abbey took a deep breath and closed her eyes. ‘While I was away at medical school John’s dad died. Janet didn’t cope very well. She’d depended heavily on John’s dad and she lost interest in everything. John kept on farming but suddenly every decision was his. The transition was too sudden.’
‘He got into financial trouble?’ Ryan’s voice was intent. He was watching the pain wash over Abbey’s face, and part of him didn’t want to hear the end of the story.
‘The Wittners had a lovely farm. They grew sugar cane and ran cattle,’ Abbey said bleakly, as if telling a story that still had the power to hurt. ‘The farm was prosperous, but John didn’t have much of a head for figures. He made a few investments that weren’t very wise and he gave loans to people he shouldn’t have trusted. By the time I finished medical school and came back here to marry him he was in real trouble.’
‘So you sold up and moved here.’
‘It wasn’t quite as simple as that,’ Abbey confessed. ‘John… Well, he was proud and he wouldn’t let on to either Janet or me just how much trouble he was in. I galvanised the community into building the hospital, my medical practice started paying and then I found myself pregnant. I was delighted and I thought John was, too. With the farm and my medicine, there seemed to be heaps of money. But…’ Her voice faltered and Ryan found himself covering her hand on the bedclothes.
‘Tell me, Abbey.’
‘When John ran into trouble he started gambling,’ Abbey said painfully. ‘No one knew. He just… I was busy and he’d go away-to farming conferences, he said, and we believed him. And then he ran so deeply into debt it was a nightmare and he still couldn’t tell us.’ Her voice faltered. ‘And then he shot himself.’
‘Oh, Abbey… ’
‘He didn’t even make a good job of that,’ Abbey said wearily. ‘He was in a coma for months before he died. The place was a financial disaster, there wasn’t any insurance and I was pregnant. Jack was born two months after John died.’ She shrugged, putting aside a nightmare.
‘So the bank foreclosed and Janet and I sold up. Janet couldn’t bear to live in town. She thinks everyone is still talking about her and she can’t bear to face people or talk about John. The only person she’ll still see is your father.’
‘So… we bought this place, which was all we could afford-and here we are. Apart from a pile of debts which I’m slowly paying off, then we’re fine. We’re doing fine.’ She spread her hands. ‘I’m sorry. It’s the end of a rotten story.’
Only it wasn’t Ryan looked down at those work-weary hands and knew that it wasn’t.
‘Are you making ends meet now?’ he asked gently, and Abbey grimaced.
‘We will. Apart from my medical income, we’re supplying a local cheesemaker with unpasteurised milk and…’
‘How many cows are you milking?’
‘Fifteen. That’s all the milk he wants and it’s not enough for one of the bigger dairies to adjust their collection procedures.’
‘Fifteen cows?’ Ryan frowned, thinking this through. ‘But that’s hardly enough to justify milking machines.’
‘Well, isn’t that lucky?’ Abbey managed a smile. ‘We milk by hand.’
‘You have to be kidding!’
‘No.’ Abbey sighed again. ‘Look, if we get rid of the farm entirely I think Janet will just curl up and die. She loves Jack and she loves the farm.’
‘Abbey, Janet’s hands… her hip…’
‘Yes?’ Abbey’s voice was disinterested and weary. Twenty more minutes until she had to face the cows…
‘Abbey, Janet’s hands are crippled with arthritis. Her hip seems even worse than her hands.’
‘So?’
‘She can’t possibly milk.’
‘No. I do that.’
‘That’s ridiculous,’ Ryan exploded. ‘You can’t milk twice a day and run a medical practice and care for a-’
‘What’s the choice here, Ryan?’
Silence.
‘There has to be a choice,’ Ryan said at last He thought of Felicity-of what she’d say, presented with this nightmare. It didn’t bear thinking of. ‘You’ll have to buy a small house in town… ’
‘I told you-we can’t live in town. Janet can’t bear it. And this place was cheaper than anything within the town boundaries.’ Abbey cast a rueful glance around at the rising damp on the walls and the cracks in the plaster. ‘Much cheaper. This way-well, the cows bring in an income. Janet thinks she’s making a contribution-as indeed she is. She cares for the poultry and sells the eggs and she cares for Jack when I’m away…’
‘And you do all your house calls by bicycle!’
‘I have a car,’ Abbey said defensively. ‘I just don’t use it when I can use the bike.’
‘You can’t tell me you wouldn’t make more and have an easier life living in an apartment in town.’
‘
‘She’s old enough for a nursing home.’ That’s what Felicity would do, Ryan knew. Get the hell out of the mess. Abandon the old lady and leave the whole catastrophe behind her so fast you wouldn’t see her for dust.
Silence again.
Then Abbey shook her head, nestled her head back down on the pillows. And closed her eyes.
‘Go away, Ryan Henry,’ she said wearily. ‘I’d appreciate it if you would care for the medical needs of the town for the next week. I’d appreciate it very much. But that doesn’t mean I have to spend any time with you.’
‘Why the hell-?’
‘Ryan, for a minute there then you sounded just like your mother,’ Abbey told him flatly. ‘And if there’s one person in this world I could never stand it’s your mother.’
Ryan rose, anger flooding into his face. ‘If it comes to that-’
‘Yeah, my mother was a slut,’ Abbey said in the same disinterested tone. ‘Your mother told me she was so you don’t need to repeat it Go away, Ryan.’
‘Abbey…’
‘Oh, leave it.’ Abbey was bone-tired and she wanted done with it The sight of this man beside her bed was doing strange things to her insides. She wanted to weep. Her leg throbbed and the world just seemed too darned hard.
‘Who’s milking tonight?’ Ryan’s face had closed and his tone was clipped. There was anger in his voice but also resignation. He wasn’t enjoying this one bit-but, damn, he’d do the right thing by this girl. And then he’d leave.
‘Who do you think?’ Abbey demanded dully. ‘Me? Me? Or maybe you think it’s me. Now go away so I can have fifteen minutes to pull myself together before I have to start.’
‘You can’t milk tonight.’
‘Well, that leaves Janet and Jack to do it for me. You choose!’
‘There must be someone else…’
‘There isn’t. Go away.’ And Abbey humped herself over and faced the wall. Good grief, she thought bleakly. She was behaving like a petulant child-but that was how Ryan made her feel. Like her life was way out of control, and her problems were exposed for all the world to see. For Ryan to see.
She didn’t like this.
Abbey blinked back a stupid tear. And then another.
‘Can Janet show me what to do?’ Ryan asked, and his voice sounded like it came from a long way off.
Abbey sniffed and tried to focus on what he’d said.
