His Miracle Bride

PIERCE stood on the battlements and stared out over the moonlit sea. This was one of the most beautiful places on earth. He should be soaking in the beauty of the night.

Instead, all he could think of was the haunted face of the child he’d just left. Shadows. So many shadows, haunting them all. How the hell could he face them down for Wendy when he hadn’t faced down his own?

‘She’s asleep.’ The soft words made him turn. Shanni had come up beside him, so close she was touching him. She was wrapped in a blanket, her pyjamas underneath.

The pig pyjamas?

‘I was going to leave her in bed with me, but she wanted Abby. So I took her back to bed and waited till she was asleep.’ She hesitated. ‘Great view,’ she said at last.

‘Yes.’

‘She’s quite a kid.’

‘I know that.’

‘Did you know she’s been abused?’

He stilled. The night seemed to freeze. ‘Abused…’

‘Not sexually,’ Shanni said. ‘Not that I can figure. But the last of Maureen’s partners seems to have knocked her round. She’s been locked in wardrobes in the dark.’

‘I guessed something like that,’ he said heavily.

‘You guessed?’

‘I took the kids to a psychologist just after Maureen died. They were all traumatized to some extent-well, they would be when their mother just died-but the way Wendy flinched if I raised my voice…But Wendy wouldn’t talk to the psychologist. There was nothing I could do to make her.’

‘It’s some commitment you’ve taken on.’

‘I never meant to,’ he said heavily, and dug his hands deep into his pockets. ‘God knows I wanted nothing to do with all this.’

‘Then why did you take them on?’

‘I thought it’d be easy,’ he said explosively. ‘They were almost totally self-contained. Before Maureen died I was allowed to do nothing. Wendy and Bryce controlled Donald and Abby. They kept out of my way. They were quiet-unnaturally quiet, but I didn’t know that. I’m thinking now that Maureen must have ordered them to leave me alone-to let me do nothing for them. Anyway, it was only after Bessy was born-after I’d made my promise and my commitment-that I started seeing the chasm I’d jumped into.’

‘Chasm?’

‘I was supposed to hire a housekeeper and head back to the city,’ he snapped. ‘How easy’s that? I’d come down at weekends when I could, pat them on the head, feel good about keeping them all together and then leave again.’

‘Only now you see that they desperately need someone more than a housekeeper?’

‘I can’t give that sort of commitment.’

‘I think you already have.’

‘I haven’t.’

‘You’re their adoptive father. There’s no one else.’

‘Hell, Shanni, I don’t do commitment.’

‘Because?’

‘Look, relationships…They’re a disaster.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s none of your business.’

‘No.’ But…‘Ruby had you four different times when you were a kid,’ she said cautiously. Sure, this was none of her business, but then when had ‘not being her business’ ever stopped her from sticking in her oar? She was too far in now to draw back. She had obligations to Wendy, and if that meant facing down Pierce’s ghosts then so be it. Shanni, family counsellor. Right.

‘So that meant you kept going back to your mother?’ she asked.

For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to answer. Then he shrugged.

‘Whenever she had a relationship.’

‘So when she had a man, she wanted you as well? How did that work?’

‘She played happy families. My mother loved talking about “my husband”. “My son”. Only she had to have them both. Both or nothing. So, when the relationship ended, back I’d go to foster homes. To Ruby when I was lucky.’

‘So the end of each relationship meant you went back to being safe with Ruby.’ She whistled. ‘Boy, a psychiatrist could have a carnival with you.’

‘Do you mind?’ he demanded, and she shrugged and managed a smile.

‘No, cos I’m interested.’ She hugged her blanket closer. ‘And I’ve just played psychologist with Wendy, so I might as well do it with you. Does this all mean you’ll never want marriage or your own kids-which is why you offered to take on Maureen’s? Maybe you even thought it could protect you even more from relationships.’

His face was frozen, blank and hard. ‘I’m going to bed.’

‘Did anyone lock you in a cupboard?’

There was a loaded silence. She’d gone too far, she thought. Whoops. Was she doing more harm than good? That was starting to be the story of her life.

‘You did get the sort of treatment that was meted out to Wendy,’ she said softly. ‘You and Maureen both. Which is why you had to help her. Oh, Pierce.’

‘This is crazy.’ He was staring out to sea, carefully not looking at her. He was big and tough and carefully self- contained-rigidly self-contained. ‘I will not have anyone feeling sorry for me.’

‘No, why would you?’ she whispered. ‘You’re a wealthy bachelor with a brilliant professional reputation and the world at your feet. As opposed to me, a penniless practically orphan.’

‘Orphan?’

‘They changed the locks on my childhood home.’

‘You’re how old?’

‘They’ve locked me out from Susie Belle.’

He choked. His laughter made her smile. That was what she’d been aiming for. ‘It’s not such a tragedy,’ she admitted softly. ‘As you imply, I’m a big girl. I’ll deal with my trauma myself.’ Her smile faded. ‘But Wendy can’t.’

‘I’ll talk to Nick tomorrow. He’s a qualified child psychologist, and he’s worked with damaged kids.’

‘This castle has everything,’ Shanni said and went back to looking out to sea. She was too close to Pierce, she thought, but she couldn’t step away without seeming…Without seeming…

‘I’d like to take Wendy shopping tomorrow,’ she said.

He blinked. He looked confused, she thought. Well, why not? That made two of them.

‘Why do you want to go shopping?’

‘Retail therapy.’ She hesitated. ‘I’m thinking this is a glorious time to give these kids the individual attention they crave. They’ve been a solid bunch until now-they’ve had to be. But they also need to learn to be their own people.’

‘That’ll happen soon enough.’

‘Sorry? You think learning to be your own person means learning not to need?’

‘Doesn’t it?’

‘Hey, I’m not the psychologist. Ask Nick.’

‘I don’t need…’

‘To ask Nick anything. No. You stand alone. Only, you’re not able to. Not now you’ve officially adopted these kids as yours. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up needing them as much as they need you.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Says the man who walks alone.’ She grinned. ‘Even Tarzan had his Jane.’

‘You’re being silly.’

‘And you’re being serious.’ She gazed deliberately out at the sea some more, trying to build some emotional distance between them. ‘You know this is the most fantastic place…’