‘I can.’ In truth she was in territory she didn’t understand, but more and more she didn’t have a choice. ‘I know you don’t want to bother her, but believe me the longer you keep this from her the more she’ll be hurt. She’s already unbelievably hurt that you married and had Bessy without telling her. You’re not going to be able to keep things from her any longer.’
She fought for another breath and then turned her attention to Wendy. ‘You know, you guys need a proper housekeeper. Not someone like me who doesn’t know the first thing about what kids need. Someone who’ll love you to bits. Pierce has a lovely old foster mother called Ruby who needs to meet you all. Ruby’s like any other grandma-she’d be caring for you in a minute-but I agree, she’s too old now to take you on. But if there’s one thing Ruby’s good at it’s networking. She’ll find you a housekeeper. She’ll be vetted from every angle possible, like you should have vetted me, and you’ll be able to get on with your lives.’
‘Shanni, you can’t.’ Pierce sounded horrified.
‘I can tell her. Tell your brothers I did it,’ she said. ‘Sorry, Pierce, but I’m Ruby’s niece. Some secrets can’t be kept in families and this is one of them.’
‘You have no right…’
‘Maybe I don’t, but I’m doing it anyway.’ She rose, feeling shaky. She knew she had to do this because, even though it was tearing her in two now, how much harder would it be if she left it longer?
‘Wendy, I’m your friend,’ she said, looking down at the stricken little face and flinching. How could she do this? How could she not do this? If she was hurting Wendy now, how much more so if she wasn’t honest? ‘When you leave the castle I’ll come to the farm and see you all. I promise. I’ll do the housekeeper thing-I’ll fill the house with food and make sure things are okay. I’ll see you that day, and I’ll see you any time I can find the opportunity. And I’ll write to you, Wendy.’
‘It’s not the same,’ Wendy muttered.
‘No, but I was your temporary housekeeper,’ she said softly. ‘My job here is done.’
The journey back to the castle was made in silence. Shanni stared straight ahead. She’d insisted Wendy sit up front with Pierce. She felt small and insignificant in the back seat-and mean.
She’d hurt Wendy. The thought tore her in two. But she looked at the rigid set of Pierce’s shoulders and thought, what else was she to do? She had to walk away-if not run.
They pulled into the castle forecourt and sat for a moment, as if each was reluctant to get out.
‘They’ll be waiting for you on the beach,’ Shanni said gently to Wendy. ‘Won’t they, Pierce?’
‘They were planning lunch on the beach when I left,’ Pierce said. ‘They’ve set up a cabana for shade, and they looked set there for the next month.’
‘Then you need to get your swimmers on and join them.’
‘I want you to come,’ Wendy whispered.
‘I can’t.’
‘You mean you won’t,’ Pierce said.
‘That’s right,’ she whispered. ‘I’m mean, selfish…’
‘I didn’t mean-’
‘You know very well why I’m doing this,’ she snapped. ‘Don’t make it any harder.’
He didn’t reply. Shanni saw his hands clench on the steering wheel, so hard his knuckles turned white.
‘Fine,’ he said at last. ‘Wendy, let’s get our swimmers.’
‘But…’
‘We have to learn to stick together,’ Pierce said harshly. ‘Shanni’s not part of our family.’
‘Wendy, I love you lots,’ she said. ‘I’ll come down to the beach and say goodbye.’
She climbed out of the car and fled into the castle before they could say another thing.
In the movies packing was done fast. She’d seen it. The cuckolded husband storming in, seizing his suitcase, throwing in a handful of shirts, slamming the lid and saying, ‘I’ll be back for the final stuff later.’
Shanni, however, was not a storming kind of person. She was actually a really messy person. She opened her suitcase and stared at the room and tried to figure out where to start.
She’d only been here twenty-four hours. Hardly time to make herself at home.
Damn, she was crying. She never cried. Never, ever.
She sobbed.
Finally she hauled herself together-a little-and marched down to the bathroom to find tissues.
Queen Victoria looked astonished. And even more disapproving.
‘Yeah, I’m breaking my heart over five kids and a guy I’ve known less than a week. Dumb, dumb, dumb.’
No answer. Well, what did she expect? ‘You were protected from this sort of thing,’ she told the queen. ‘Married young, one baby after another…
‘You still broke your heart, though,’ she whispered, thinking back to history at school, to the stories of the abyss of misery Victoria had fallen into after the death of Albert.
‘Yeah, well, you should have found a career you could throw yourself into. Like I have.’
Didn’t Queen of England count as a career? And Shanni didn’t
‘I thought you couldn’t possibly fall in love this fast,’ she told Victoria, sniffing hard. ‘I was wrong.’
‘Shanni?’
She stilled. It was Pierce, calling from below stairs. ‘Where are you?’ he yelled.
‘Talking to Vicky.’
There was a moment’s silence, and then the sound of the stairs being taken two or three treads at a time.
The bathroom door was locked. She and QueenVic were safe.
‘Come out,’ he called.
‘Why aren’t you at the beach?’
‘I took Wendy down and came back.’
‘Did they like her hairdo?’
‘They loved it. They’re currently making a sandcastle, modelling it on Kirsty. Seeing Kirsty’s nine months pregnant it’s some sandcastle. Shanni, come out.’
‘I’m busy.’
‘Talking to Victoria?’
‘You think I’m crazy?’
‘Hell, no,’ he told her. ‘Everyone in this damned castle finds a confidante somewhere. Susie told me she’s sure Ernst and Eric were marriage counsellors in a former life.’
‘Ernst and Eric?’
‘The suits of armour at the foot of the stairs.’
She’d forgotten. ‘Right.’
‘Come out?’
‘I don’t want to.’
‘You sound younger than Abby.’
‘Well, then. I’m younger than Abby and a damned nuisance.’
‘Shanni, I’m so sorry you heard that conversation last night.’
‘So am I,’ she snapped, and hauled open the door. Which was a mistake. She’d thought her anger could protect her, at least giving her room to get from the bathroom to the privacy of her bedroom. But as soon as she saw him…
‘You’ve been crying,’ he said, and he put his hands on her shoulders.
‘I have hayfever,’ she said with as much dignity as she could muster. ‘I’m allergic to aspidistra. Tell Queen V it’s her fault.’
‘I don’t want you to go.’
‘I have to.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m falling in love with…the kids.’
He hesitated. Then, ‘Wendy’s breaking her heart.’
‘I’ve been with her less than a week. I’m a friend. I’ll get over it.’ She paused. ‘I mean,
