supermarket. Asking them for the right kind of laundry powder, and admitting you’d been landed with five kids and you didn’t know the first thing about laundry. If you’d done that you would have got them behind you, no questions asked, months ago.’
‘I couldn’t…’
‘Open yourself to people? Don’t I know it.’ She leaned down and scratched Clyde behind the left ear. ‘I’ve just been telling Clyde you’re a dodo.’
‘A dodo.’
‘A very clever dodo.’
‘Shanni…’
‘Mmm?’
‘Will you…?’ He hesitated.
She straightened and stared at him. ‘Will I what?’
There was another lengthy pause. Shanni had stopped scratching. The big bull tossed his head and nudged her legs. She gave a rueful smile and started scratching again.
‘I seem to have given myself a lifetime job,’ she whispered. ‘Will I what, Pierce?’
He couldn’t say. The words that were crowding into his head refused to be uttered.
He’d been sucked into a vortex that was terrifying. No matter what, it seemed he was going down.
His life was no longer self-contained. He had five kids. He had a convicted criminal of a housekeeper called Olga who he just knew was going to end up as dependent on him as the kids were. He had Ruby back on his case. Sometime during the afternoon she’d handed him a parcel-macrame sweaters times five.
And tonight as he’d put Donald to bed the little boy had hugged him. Donald. The last of the kids to accept him.
He’d hugged him back and, damn it he’d felt like crying. He’d let himself in for a lifetime of macrame. And domesticity. The whole catastrophe.
Did he mind?
Maybe not so much, he thought. It was as if he’d been hit by flood water but somehow he’d managed to float. Now he was being swept along, out of control, but somehow he was even managing to enjoy the ride.
But Shanni…She had what he could no longer have. Independence.
‘Will I what?’ she asked again, and the words that had half formed disappeared from view.
‘They’re taking orders for coffee,’ he said, and he felt her withdraw just a little.
‘You came to find me to see if I wanted coffee?’
‘Yes. I…And I was worried about you being with Clyde.’
‘You think I’d get in the bull paddock? I’m not so dumb.’
‘I don’t want you taking any risks.’
There was a moment’s silence. ‘You think I’m a risk taker,’ she said at last.
‘Yes.’
‘I’m not.’
‘You throw your heart into the ring.’
‘That’s risk taking?’
‘Yes.’
‘But there’s good things that can happen because of it,’ she said, so softly he had to lean forward to hear. ‘I got to toss ice water over naked people, and that has to count as one of life’s great pluses. I got my money back, thanks to Blake, the sweetie. You have the most gorgeous foster brothers. Nik has asked me out.’
That was a kick in the gut. Nik.
‘I’m busy,’ she said with dignity. ‘I’m starting a new gallery.’
‘In London?’
In Sydney. I’m going to be wildly fashionable, and I’m buying a dog.’
‘A dog.’
‘Like Taffy. I want one just like Taffy.’
‘You deserve something better.’
‘Yeah?’ She turned to him then, puzzled. ‘What could be better than Taffy?’
‘I-’
‘Having five kids?’ She was teasing, smiling down at him in the moonlight. ‘And an Olga and a Ruby and a community like this?’
‘Shanni…’
‘Coffee,’ she said and jumped off the post, so suddenly that she caught him unawares. His hands came out instinctively and caught her. Steadied her. Held her close.
She smelled wonderful, he thought. She felt wonderful.
He wanted to…
Shanni…
She didn’t move. She stared up at him, seemingly bewildered.
And then she recovered. He saw her face change, as if coming to some sort of conclusion. She gave the tiniest of nods.
She tilted her chin and looked mockingly up at him. She put her hands on either side of his face, and she drew his head down so her mouth could meet his.
For the third time she kissed him.
It wasn’t a kiss. It was a dare.
She held him tight against her. She kissed him, like it or not, and who was he to argue? He should, but he couldn’t. Any argument was simply kissed out of him.
He didn’t move. He didn’t respond. Her kiss deepened and deepened some more. Then she was drawing away, just a little, but still holding his face in her hands.
‘Coward,’ she teased, and kissed him again.
What was a man to say to that? He’d been thrown a challenge. What was a man to do, but kiss back?
One kiss, he promised himself. This night and then it was over. She’d retreat to her life and he’d stay with his.
But meanwhile…
He kissed her as if he’d never let her go. He kissed her as he’d never kissed a woman before, letting go, releasing all his pent-up longing, his aching to be loved, his need to be a part of something that wasn’t just him…
She must feel what he was feeling. She must know…
She was the other half of his whole. She was the partner he’d never hoped to find-the woman he hadn’t known existed. Shanni…
The kiss went on and on, achingly, heartbreakingly wonderful. He couldn’t release her. He mustn’t. Shanni…
‘Coffee!’ The yell was loud enough to wake the dead. It was Dwayne, yelling into the darkness, straining to see beyond the pool of light cast by the lanterns on the veranda.
‘Hey, guys, come and get coffee. And Shanni, Ruby says are you going to drive her home, cos if you don’t come soon she’s sleeping off the champagne here and now. And Mum says everyone can stay for breakfast if they want, but there’s not enough eggs.’
And that was that.
They broke apart. Rational thought prevailed. Sort of.
Shanni took a step back and gazed up at him in the moonlight. She looked bruised, he thought. Confused.
Frightened?
Yeah, frightened. He couldn’t bear it. He put a hand on her cheek lightly, a feather touch.
If he was falling for someone with the encumbrances he had, he’d be terrified as well.
‘Hey, don’t look like that. I’m not asking anything of you.’
‘No?’
‘It doesn’t mean anything.’
‘What doesn’t?’
