shifting the dappled shade. It was beautiful.
Gina was beautiful.
He’d thought that the first time he’d seen her, and nothing had changed. Not a thing.
She wasn’t dressed to attract. She never had. Now, in faded jeans, a stained T-shirt that was truly horrible, battered sneakers…
Yep, she was beautiful.
He walked over, sat down beside her and stared out over the sea, as if trying to see what she was seeing. This was a beautiful setting.
‘Sorry.’ She winced and moved sideways. ‘It’s been too big a day. The rodeo. The baby. Surgery. I…I need to find a shower.’
‘You definitely need to find a shower,’ he told her. ‘But it was blood gained in a battle worth fighting. Well done.’
‘Thanks.’
They stared some more at the sea. Trying to figure out where to start. Where was he supposed to start? Surely it was up to her. To do this to him…
She kept her silence. Seemingly it was up to him.
‘Would you like to tell me,’ he said finally into the stillness, ‘just what is going on?’
‘We may just have saved a baby.’
‘Gina…’
‘Sorry.’
‘Is CJ…mine?’
She glanced at him then-and then looked away as if she couldn’t bear to see him. Which was maybe exactly how he’d expect her to feel.
‘Yes,’ she whispered.
More silence.
‘Hell,’ he said at last, and she nodded as if that was no more than she’d expected.
‘I guess it is.’
There was anger building now, an anger so overwhelming it was all he could do to stay still, not to stand up and crash his fist into the veranda pole, not to yell…
Yelling would achieve nothing. He had to stay calm.
‘So.’ He stared out to sea some more, not looking at her, not wanting to look at her. ‘So I got used.’
‘I- What do you mean?’
‘You and your husband used me as a sperm donor.’
‘Cal, it wasn’t like that.’ She turned to him, her face puckering in distress. ‘It wasn’t. I need to tell you…’
‘That’s what it seems like to me,’ he said savagely. ‘You come out here, you say you love me, you con me into taking you to bed-’
Her breath drew in, shocked, stunned. ‘Cal, I never did. I wouldn’t.’
‘And then you leave. You just leave.’ His anger was clearly apparent in his voice and there was no way he could disguise it. ‘You just disappear.’
‘I wrote.’
‘Yeah, and told me that your husband-who I’d thought was no longer in the picture-needed you and you were going back to him. You wouldn’t answer questions. Nothing. And when I tried to phone you-when I eventually found you through your hospital-you wouldn’t talk to me.’
‘I couldn’t answer questions,’ she told him. ‘I just couldn’t.’ Her voice trailed away. ‘I couldn’t bear to.’
‘You couldn’t bear to tell me you’d used me?’
‘Please, don’t, Cal,’ she whispered. ‘It wasn’t like that. You know it wasn’t. What we had was amazing.’
‘Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?’ he said heavily into the stillness. ‘Mind-blowing. It was sex. Was that all it was? Great sex, Gina, followed by pregnancy, and then back to your husband so you can play happy families?’
‘You’re not going to let me explain?’
‘Mom?’ The voice came from behind them. CJ. The little boy stood in the doorway behind the screen door, looking from his mother to Cal and back again. ‘Mrs Grubb said you’ve finished saving the baby. Have you?’
‘Yes, we have, CJ,’ she told him, visibly gathering her wits. As he came through the door she held out a hand to tug him close. Then she gestured to Cal, took a deep breath and performed introductions. ‘CJ, this is Cal. CJ, this is the very special Australian friend I’ve been telling you for about all these years. The man I hoped we’d get to visit while we were over here.’
‘The man with my name?’ CJ asked, and Gina nodded.
‘That’s right.’
‘Hi.’ CJ put out his hand, man to man. ‘I’m Callum James Michelton. I’m very pleased to meet you.’
Callum James.
CJ.
Cal swallowed. His hand was still being gripped so he shook the child’s hand with due solemnity and then released it.
‘My mom says you’re the best doctor in the world,’ CJ told him. ‘And she says you can juggle better than anyone she knows.’
It was hard, getting his voice to work. Cal swallowed again and tried harder. ‘Your mom told you that?’
‘She told me lots about you. She says you’re terrific.’ CJ eyed Cal cautiously, as if he was prepared to give his mother the benefit of the doubt for a while but Cal just might have to prove himself. ‘You’ve got the same colour hair as I have.’
‘Is it the same colour as your dad’s?’ Stupid question. Stupid, stupid question, and he felt Gina flinch, but he’d asked it and now he had to wait for an answer.
‘My dad’s dead,’ CJ told him. ‘He was in a wheelchair and he had black hair and a big scar down the side of his face.’ He sighed. ‘My dad watched TV with me and he read me stories but then he got so sick that he died. I miss him a lot and a lot.’
‘I… I see.’
He didn’t see. There were so many unanswered questions.
‘Are we talking about Paul here?’ he asked-feeling his way-and Gina nodded.
‘That’s right. Paul.’
‘So when you said your marriage was over…’
‘CJ, do you think you could bring me out a glass of water?’ Gina asked, and there was a note of desperation in her voice. ‘Would Mrs Grubb give you one for me?’
‘Sure,’ CJ told her. ‘We’ve made choc-chip cookies with twice the number of choc chips in the recipe ’cos Mrs Grubb let me tip and I spilt them. They’re warm.’ He turned to Cal. ‘Would you like one, sir?’
‘Yes, please,’ Cal managed. ‘Um…call me Cal.’
‘Yes, sir. I mean Cal. I’ll be an aeroplane. I haven’t been an aeroplane all day.’ He was off, zooming along the veranda, arms outstretched.
‘CJ,’ his mother called, and he stopped in mid-flight.
‘Yeah?’
‘This is a hospital and some sick patients might be going to sleep. Do you think you could be a silent glider instead of an aeroplane?’
‘Sure, I can.’ CJ put his lips firmly together. ‘Shh,’ he ordered himself, ‘If you make one loud noise up here, you’ll scare the eagles.’
And off he glided, kitchenwards.
Cal was left staring after him.
‘Great kid,’ he said at last-cautiously-and Gina nodded.
‘Yeah. He takes after his daddy.’
‘Paul…’
‘You.’
He sighed. The anger had gone now. All that was left was an ineffable weariness. A knowledge that somehow he’d been used and somehow this child had been born and there’d been four years of a child growing in his image
