Storm Haven

‘Yeah, once.’ The boy’s face closed. ‘Just wanted to know how long he’d have to hire someone else for. I dunno…I dunno that I’ll go back to living with him. I might get private board or something.’

‘Does your mum know you’re in hospital?’

‘No.’ Jim bit his lip. ‘Mum…well, Mum left a couple of years back and I chose to stay with Dad. It was a mistake, I guess, but…but I didn’t know where she was going and…I know Dad would hang up if she rang, or would burn any letters she wrote.’

Nikki nodded. ‘If you give me her full name and birth-date, I might be able to contact her,’ she offered. ‘If you like.’

‘Could you?’ Jim’s eyes brightened and then clouded again. He lay back on his pillows. ‘She’s probably glad to be shot of us both.’

‘Let me try and see,’ Nikki told him. ‘It can’t hurt to try.’

She left him then and spent a fruitful half-hour on the telephone. At the end of it she was practically certain that the Brisbane police would contact Mrs Payne. ‘Just let her know her son’s in the Eurong hospital after suffering an accident,’ she told them. It made it sound a little more serious than it really was now, but Jim-well, Jim was only nineteen and he still needed someone.

Everyone does, she thought bleakly. She looked up as the door of her office opened and Luke entered.

‘Welcome back.’ His tone was formal and his smile was forced. ‘How did the exam go?’

‘Fine.’ Nikki rose to her feet and stood awkwardly. How would it be, she wondered, if I just told him? Luke, I’m carrying your child. For a moment-just a moment-she felt a crazy impulse to do so, but he was looking at her with eyes that were distant and formal.

‘You’ve come for hand-over?’

‘I thought I should.’

‘Fine, then. Let’s go.’

So they walked through the hospital again, this time with Luke going through the notes as they visited each patient. The process was professional, efficient and cold.

The patients must think we can’t stand each other, Nikki thought, and bit her lip. Maybe for Luke it was true. Nikki had made him drop his guard and let the world in. Luke had done the same for her, but for Nikki the world, in the guise of one Luke Marriott, was more than welcome.

‘Is there anything else I should know about?’ she asked in a tight voice as they reached the end of the patient list.

‘No. I’ve left notes in the surgery.’

‘Fine.’ She nodded hopelessly. ‘I’ll be getting home, then. I’ve…we’ve a party to organise.’

‘Nikki, don’t go to any trouble.’

She turned then. ‘You do intend to show up?’ she demanded.

‘I have…there’s a house call.’

‘Luke, Amy’s counting on this party.’

‘Nikki, Amy has you and Beattie…’

‘And she has you.’ A surge of anger rose in Nikki. That he could hurt her was enough, but to hurt Amy…‘My daughter cares for you, Luke Marriott. She’s as big a fool as her mother in that regard. I’d stop it if I could but I have no control over my daughter’s decision to give her affection. She’s sad to see you go and she’s pressed us all into giving you a party that you don’t deserve.’

‘Nikki…’

‘You don’t care who you hurt, do you, Mr Marriott?’ she demanded. ‘You’d hurt Amy…you’d hurt me.

You’re hurting all your family-Oh, yes, I forgot to

tell you-I saw Megan while I was in Cairns. She’s another whom you’ve hurt with your introspective nurturing of your damned pain. Just because you’ve been sick, Luke Marriott, you think you can trample on the feelings of others and you don’t give a damn.’

‘Nikki, I do…’

‘You don’t or you wouldn’t do it. Amy is a lovely little girl, Luke Marriott, and she’s going to cry herself to sleep tonight if you don’t come to this damned party. So you can put yourself second for a change and come and eat little red sausages and party cakes and you can look as if you’re enjoying it or…’

‘Or what?’ Luke’s face was still.

‘Or I don’t know,’ Nikki ended up lamely. ‘Or I’ll think you’re even more selfish than…than my exhusband!’

If it hadn’t been for the children, the night would have been impossible. As it was, Sandra came with her four and the party was a riot. If Nikki was quiet and Luke’s smile was forced, then the children more than made up for it. Sandra’s brood were making up for past deprivation with a vengeance. They ate like miniature vultures while Sandra made futile protesting noises in the background and Beattie looked on with an indulgent smile.

‘It does me good to see Whispering Palms full of children,’ she beamed. ‘It’s like it ought to be.’

She glared then at both Luke and Nikki in turn, as if they were deliberately withholding its due from the old house.

Afterwards the children dived en masse into the pool and Luke joined them. Amy looked a question at her mother but didn’t voice it. It seemed she sensed Nikki’s reluctance to be with them. And tonight Amy was going to enjoy her Dr Luke and her new friends to the fullest. For tomorrow, her doubtful look at her mother said, we’ll be back to being by ourselves.

Not for long, Nikki thought grimly. Eight months?

At the thought of what lay ahead, blind panic filled her. She had assured Charlotte that she could cope, but could she? When Amy was a baby she had suffered at the hands of Eurong’s gossips. Now? All Eurong would count back and know whose baby this was.

And how would Luke react when he finally found out? He won’t find out for months, Nikki told herself desperately. It can’t be until I have the strength to say I won’t be part of a family for a baby’s sake. I won’t…

And finally the interminable evening ended. Luke left to drive Sandra and her children home and Nikki wearily carried an exhausted Amy up to bed.

‘It was nice, wasn’t it?’ Amy asked sleepily, snuggling into her mother’s arms.

‘Yes, it was.’ Nikki pulled back Amy’s bedcovers and deposited her daughter on to the pillows. ‘A special night.’

‘Dr Luke’s special,’ Amy said seriously. ‘Mummy, I don’t think Dr Luke should go away. I think he should stay here and be our daddy.’

And so say all of us, Nikki’s heart replied. Instead, though, she kissed her daughter goodnight and made her way back down to the kitchen. Beattie had already left for bed. Nikki made herself coffee and then went to sit out by the swimming-pool. She needed time to think.

Think of what? The next few years? The rest of her life? She closed her eyes as loneliness engulfed her. The responsibilities ahead were awesome and she couldn’t face them. Not alone.

There were footsteps behind her and she turned. Luke was there, his body outlined in the light of the doorway. He saw her and came across.

‘Satisfied?’ he asked her.

‘That you came to my daughter’s party? It was very generous of you,’ she whispered.

‘I even ate little red sausages.’

As an attempt at humour it was pretty appalling but Nikki managed a smile. She rose. ‘Well done. A manly effort.’ She made to go past him but he stopped her with his hand.

‘Nikki?’

‘Let me go, please,’ she said steadily. ‘I’m tired.’

‘Nikki, I’m sorry it had to end this way. Before God, I never meant to hurt you.’

‘What did you mean to do?’

He sighed. ‘I don’t know, my Nikki. I saw you so damned alone, and I thought-well, I thought it was time you came out of your shell. So I dragged you out.’

‘And now I’m exposed,’ she whispered. ‘Without a shell. And I’m supposed to be grateful.’

‘Nikki…’

‘I’m going to bed,’ she said wearily. ‘Let me go, please, Luke.’